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akare (8/8/2008)
Ok Misspunk.
How can I say this? Don't send it.
I read your letter and I understand what you want to say, and I know that you want closure, but I'm not sure this is the best way to do it. You could sure tell her that you are hurt but just "accusing" her although you are right, will totally worsen the situation.
Well, that is my humble advice, I just hope you can recuperate and feel better, what you went trough is tough, but you can go ahead and live a happy life nonetheless,
Best of luck,How can it be any worse??? Missspunk has lost 2 babies and almost died!! I think that says it all!!!!!
Marrying The Love Of My Life - September 12, 2008!!!
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| I totally see how it would be relieving to send that letter... I would be leary of actually sending the letter though- BUT that is just me as I/WE do not know the whole story....when it comes down to it, you do what you need to do. To me it would depend on if you wanted to leave the door open for the future or like you said in the letter were to see each other on the street and not want to say hi. Sending the letter would make it difficult for either of you to reach out in the future (and I don't mean months, I more so mean 10 years down the road). I'm a hopeless optomistic though that people can change even if it takes 10 or more years...
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bb
I totally see where you are coming from I to have thought that to. Only I continually get hurt by certain people because I let them treat me like crap and then I have this sense of loyalty that because they are family I should always forgive which opens the door for me getting hurt again. I will say this isn't the first or second or third time that I have been really hurt by this cousin and her mother. So it isn't like I am throwing in the towel with just one fight. I am just tired of being abused and then having to sit back and apologize and take all the blame so the relationship can move on. I need to do this for my self preservation and I have now come to the point that family does not give people an automatic right to treat you like crap and then just expect to be forgiven when it suits them. It takes a lot and I mean a lot before I get to this point. And I well beyond this point...... lol
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| Although this is missspunk's thread, I will respect that but I do have one comment about being an optimist. My mother was the eternal optimist and kept getting crapped on by my aunt and uncle. Always forgiving and forgetting, the Christian thing to do. Well my mother died and guess what.....none of them showed up at her funeral!!! Sorry missspunk, I don't mean to take over your thread but I have dealt with sooooo much in my personal life and yet I am one of the happiest, go lucky people in the world. You know why, I got rid of all that trash around me. The only regret I have, is that my parents didn't do the same because they did suffer internally. They didn't deserve that. NOONE deserves that! Life is too short!!! (proof I have is that my parents died pretty young). Once again, GOD BLESS THE BOTH OF YOU!!!
Marrying The Love Of My Life - September 12, 2008!!!
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lovemrk (8/8/2008)
Sorry missspunk, I don't mean to take over your thread but I have dealt with sooooo much in my personal life and yet I am one of the happiest, go lucky people in the world. You know why, I got rid of all that trash around me. The only regret I have, is that my parents didn't do the same because they did suffer internally. They didn't deserve that. NOONE deserves that! Life is too short!!! (proof I have is that my parents died pretty young). I agree with this point. Some people are toxic and you have to get rid of them. Sorry to hear about your folks.
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SofaQueen (8/8/2008)
lovemrk (8/8/2008)
Sorry missspunk, I don't mean to take over your thread but I have dealt with sooooo much in my personal life and yet I am one of the happiest, go lucky people in the world. You know why, I got rid of all that trash around me. The only regret I have, is that my parents didn't do the same because they did suffer internally. They didn't deserve that. NOONE deserves that! Life is too short!!! (proof I have is that my parents died pretty young). I agree with this point. Some people are toxic and you have to get rid of them. Sorry to hear about your folks. Thank you Sofaqueen
Marrying The Love Of My Life - September 12, 2008!!!
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Misspunk, i put "accusing" her not because I think it is, but because I think that is what your cousin, if she ever reads the letter, that is going to be her visceral reaction.
I honestly think you are right, and believe me, it is your right to cut ties with a person like that, I just believe this might escalate the issue instead of letting you be at peace, which is the objective.
As I say, this is the opinion of someone who is just trying to give advice based on my experience, and I'm sure other people will suggest you to do otherwise.
You are very right to be upset, I'm just thinking that sometimes the best way to punish someone is not giving them attention, and maybe that is another approach you can take. I would be sad if your cousin reacted even worst to the letter.
But well, as I said, I wish you best of luck because I have to acknowledge you are in a tough situation.
Send you many blessings.
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If you don't like it. Don't look at it.
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