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gr8blessings (8/28/2008)
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond.
I truly appreciate another point of view. Was the offense in being too honest in admitting that I was sad for her? Was I supposed to pretend to be happy for a situation that she herself wasn't happy about and still isn't happy about?
With much gratitude for helping me understand,
gr8blessings
PS I wouldn't be opposed to calling her but she hasn't given me her name, address or telephone number. All I have is an email address.I would then assume that someone in your family does. Be it your Mom, other siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents.......someone must know her contact info. There are certain people in my family that I have no contact with nor any of their information, however, I'm sure if I called the right family member it would easy enough to get. It's just SO much easier to say what you mean in the tone you mean it vs. trying to get that across in an email.
Married September 10, 2005 Expecting our lil' Monkey - February 5, 2009 Before you were conceived, you were wanted. Before you are born, you are loved.
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Group: Forum Members
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| I can see that the comments in the card could be offensive but could it be that maybe she is ashamed of her actions ? She was sleeping with a married man after all. Has he left his wife for her ? maybe if he hasnt she is going through the pain of feeling like she was going to have this great family and he turned out to be snake? I try not to be judgemental but as a newly wed I certainly dont have much sympathy for a cheater , I really dont think she was doing something very nice at all. However a baby came and I hope she has a happy life with her child !
Shawna  We did it November 17, 2007Proud Mommy to Logan ( Mar. 1, 2005) Expecting #2 Aug. 1, 2009
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fascha (8/28/2008)
The fastest way to lose family is to judge someone for what kind of parent they are and by implying she was embarrassed of her daughter (whether or not it may or may not have been true) would have landed you on my sh!tlist for sure!
If you were unintentionally mean to her then I would talk to her about it and definitely apologize.
+1
Jules 
Sparkules to make an appearance June 18.09
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| CONTENT!! gr8blessings (8/28/2008)
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond.
I truly appreciate another point of view. Was the offense in being too honest in admitting that I was sad for her? Was I supposed to pretend to be happy for a situation that she herself wasn't happy about and still isn't happy about?
With much gratitude for helping me understand,
gr8blessings
PS I wouldn't be opposed to calling her but she hasn't given me her name, address or telephone number. All I have is an email address.The offence (at least, that's what would have offended ME) is not saying that you are sad for her, but saying that she was embarassed by the arrival of her daughter. That was YOUR view of why she didn't share the good news with you guys... maybe she didn't tell you just because she was afraid of being judged (which turned out to be a reasonable fear). That's the only comment I would apoligize for. Her boyfriend IS a cheater. That's what it's called. (Also, on a side note, just for information, you can't alledge infidelity to the courts to spead up a divorce if YOU'RE the one being unfaithfull, that priviledge is reserved for the person being cheated on -- It's part of the whole 'must come to court with clean hands' theory.)
 Became a Mrs on the 20th of October 2007
Becoming a mommy around the 30th January 2009! ^^*B.O.*^^
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Group: Forum Members
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fascha (8/28/2008)
The fastest way to lose family is to judge someone for what kind of parent they are and by implying she was embarrassed of her daughter (whether or not it may or may not have been true) would have landed you on my sh!tlist for sure!
If you were unintentionally mean to her then I would talk to her about it and definitely apologize.
+1 I agree with fascha.
 Kaisa & Sid - June 30, 2007
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Hope everything works out for you and your sister! 
Married - June 16, 2008 & Expecting Baby #1 - February 20, 2009
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