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satin (10/7/2008)
this happened to use too
DH sister has a son and we have 6 children between the 2 of us(5 at the weeding-baby wasn't born yet)and each child had a job-dh oldest son was a Jr usher, oldest daughter was a JR bridesmaid, the younger daughter was a flower maiden, my 2 children were ring bearer and flower girl. we were talking about the wedding over at DH parents way before it happened and all the kids were happy to be in it. his sister looks at me and says to her son-oh you'll be a ring bearer!
well, did not happen! i already had one and didn't put him in the wedding party at all. DH sisters were not in my bridal party. i had my best friend, sister and the kids in my party.
my wedding, my choose!
Power to you for having been strong enough to do what made YOU happy. I cannot believe the gall of some people who seem to think that being in someone else's wedding party is a right rather than a privilege. It really makes me sick that some people just have no manners or sense of etiquette at all. Making your niece or FH's niece flower girl or his nephew a ring bearer is by no means a pre-requisite nor is it an obligation!!
I am curious to know how your FH handled this situation, or you for that matter and if you were under any pressure from the family to conform to this expectation. Did you talk to them about it at all and did you set them straight? Or did you just ignore the comment altogether, and did it never get brought up again? I am curious to know the repercussions for others when they did not conform. I personally think I am already being very nice to include the sisters and the niece in ANY way shape or form... they should be grateful they were even thought of rather than demanding about what capacity and role each wants to be in.
2 B Wed July 10, 2009!
Me (29) + FH (32) + his son (12) = 9.5 years together
Done so far:
Asked wedding party, decided on venue (Miller Lash), got catering quotes, decided theme, brainstorming details, started dress search, hired kicka$$ planner, made vendor lists, fought with FMIL, made up with FMIL, lost e-ring, found e-ring... only 10 mos to go!
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2bwed0609 (10/7/2008)
Anyone we ask to be included should consider it a privilege not a right.
We definitely disagree 
Best of luck!
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| I agree with some other people that.....It is NOT a right to stand up in a wedding no matter how close you are or if your family. It is a privilege and it is the bride and grooms choice no one has a right to be in someone elses wedding, no matter how you are related.
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| i simply told her-umm , no, i have a ring bearer already. she got mad but too bad. she got over it when she relised it wasn't gonna happen. she didn't stay too mad at us-she gave us a nice cash gift! lol I made it clear from the get go that no one other then our children was going to be in the wedding-not my sister's or his sisters kids were included. they were all invited though. his sisters were not in my party either-they never talk to me even when i'm over there for family dinners or any thing so they were not part of MY plans.
MARRIED MY LOVE ON JAN 26, 2008 BABY JOINED US APRIL 30 2008 OUR FAMILY BECOMES 7!!!
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Planning Guru
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| My ESIL did this the ENTIRE 11 months of my planning. Her daughter is 6, so we asked her to be our FG, and ESIL used FG EVERY time ESIL wanted something. She wanted a different dress for the FG, so she said "Oh well I already told FG that we were going shopping for a new dress and she was SO excited!". yeah....this coming from the ESIL that wouldn't go shopping with us b/c (fg) is "so misbehaved when they go shopping that she can't handle her kid". Stand your ground, say no. If she's already been in 2 weddings then its not like she hasn't had her turn!! Familys can be tough, but think of it this way, if you keep caving...what else are you going to cave on in the future that they could manipulate you into? Best wishes to you sweets!!! show 'em who's boss!
~Kev & Jen 10.04.08~ ***MOD*** "If Love is a Labor, I'll slave 'till the end, I won't cross these streets until you Hold my Hand" Married!!!! My fairytale wedding was PERFECT!
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