I think most grooms operate under the assumption that since you have given so much thought to this day, our help is not needed.  Consequently, we purposefully avoid getting involved in the process.  Sometimes this is not a big deal, and other times it becomes an unnecessary source of stress and tension.  The better view is that the planning of a wedding is the first major project of a couple's life together.  It is obviously important to both the bride and the groom that they have a great time at their wedding.  In order to achieve this goal, men need to be included in the decisions about the florist, caterer, baker, DJ, photographer, etc.  

Women, unlike men, know the ins and outs of wedding planning.  You have had the ability to learn this process through TV shows, bridal magazines, and other women.  Us men, on the other hand, have been given little if any guidance.  We are hesitant to help with planning because we simply do not know what is expected of us.  You can help by talking through the planning process with us.  Men, by nature, are good at solving problems and task organization.  Give us a checklist with the dates that you need the tasks to be accomplished.  Then sit back and watch in amazement as we carry out our assigned duties.  But, here is the important part!!!  Although you should offer suggestions for each area, you need to give us the ability to make decisions.  As long as we are not totally missing the boat, it should fine if we get something done in a way that is not exactly the same way that you would have done it.  The important part is that we are involved in the process.  

Started Dating May 1, 2003

Bought our house April 10, 2007

Engaged Oct 12, 2007

Big Day July 18, 2009

My fiance has been pretty good about coming to see venues and photographers. He actually wants to come with me. I told him I don't expect him to come to the appointments but he says he wants to. He's also been good about meeting with our planner with me. He doesn't complain too much as long as I make sure to work around his work schedule. I did also assign him the task of doing thank you cards for his family, that didn't get done till the day we had to give them to his family, but at least they got done, right?

I don't imagine he'll come to the florist or to look at the more girly stuff, but I think he'll want to be involved in other stuff like looking at the cars and dj.

Engaged: January 3, 2008

The Big Day: May 23, 2010

We do everything together and it didnt even occur to me to not have him involved in planning too.  He gets really irritated if i change my mind after we have already made the decision.

Erin

Unlike most women, I had never planned my wedding since I was a kid, and honestly had no idea what really went into weddings at all!  So, for me, the "perfect" wedding, would be something that we would both enjoy and that represented us as a couple.  I tried not to be too detail orientated, mainly because I never really knew what kind of details were needed. 

Although my DH was a huge help in the planning process, it would have been nice if he would have added in anything he might have wanted or even made decisions on his own.  He always said "men don't care about that kind of stuff, all that matters is that its me and you", which is sweet and all, but come on!  Have an opinion, you do for everything else in our lives lol!

*Mrs. J*

Married: Friday, June 13th, 2008 - still can't believe it's over!

Expecting Baby #1: May 11th, 2009 - can't wait!

A bone of contention for us was the DJ.  This was the ONLY task I assigned DH all by himself.  When we were 90 days before the wedding he still hadn't taken care of this so - I had to take it back. 

Me neither!