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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 12/30/2008 10:58:12 PM
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My FH and I are in debt. He's been un/unemployed for some time now. We kept thinking if he got a job next week, it would all be good. Well here we are, less than three months away, and we're still in the same position.
If we go ahead with the wedding, and IF I can extend my line of credit, we'll be doubling our debt.
We're planning a moderate wedding - $13-15,000 budget, with 75 guests.
Today I started panicking and am wondering if we should
A) postphone
B) downgrade the event - get married at city hall and invite just close friends and family for a nice dinner afterwards
Is it too late do do either of these things - we've already sent STDs? Would it look REALLY bad?? Would I regret not having the wedding I want and resent FH forever??
Advice please!!
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Master Planner
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Last Login: Today @ 3:09:57 PM
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| oooooh ouch tough spot. No one can tell you the answer for certain. On one hand if you do the responsible thing and down grade the wedding you will always feel left out and wonder what if... but then if you continue planning and extend your line of credit, you will get your day but at the cost of mounding debt. What we did is spread the word we wanted cash gifts through family, so that helped offset the price of the wedding, we only had about 25 more people then you and we got thousands of dollars worth in cheques and cash. Would that be a possibility for you???
*~~~  Mrs Platteeuw ~~~**** FORUM MODERATOR***
LO #1 Due September 1, 2009
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 8:57:14 AM
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How much have you payed for and how much is outstanding? What kind of contracts do you have?
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong
To each other.
~Shakira~
July 17, 2010
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Loving Planning!
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| What about finding ways to cut your costs. Maybe you could have your reception at the church and only pay one fee and have an early or late wedding to cut down on food. Make your own bouquet, by a pre-made grocery store cake and decorate it with fake or real flowers. Make your own invites. Only invite those near and dear to you. Ask people for help! Think about a pot luck meal, if people know that you are in financial need they will be willing to help you cut costs. Borrow, do it cheaper, have fewer guests. Just some ideas.
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Beginner Planner
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Is there anything else you can cut back on? I'm guessing you have already put deposits down on stuff.
Putting out the word that cash gifts would be nice is a good start I think.
Can family members help financially? Parents or grandparents? Perhaps instead of Christmas gifts they could get you gift cards for your flowers or cake or something. Or just give you straight cash for your wedding budget.
What haven't you booked? Because you can do cheaper and DIY things.
I.e. photographer - instead of booking a fab photog with flashy packages, book a "shoot and burn" photographer (any pro photogs out there, don't flame me for that) and they will just shoot your day and give you the pics on a CD. Then you can print your own pics wherever or print up books using programs like My Publisher when you can afford it.
Cake - do your own. Michaels apparently does cake decorating classes. Or do cupcakes. Or a sheet cake from Costco.
Flowers - DIY - you can order flowers from Costco cheap or even grocery stories - get some ribbon and wrap them up into a bouquet.
Cut back on the booze - if you're having an open bar and it's not included in a package price, get rid of it and charge for drinks. Offer just wine on the tables.
Change to an afternoon reception - this can actually cut costs for booze too and for food - wrap it up in time for people to leave for dinner. If you want to "party" then tell people to meet you at a bar/club for an "after party" - see if maybe the bar will get you a deal to get people in before a certain time.
Do your own invites - make them simple and make them to fit a normal sized envelope (odd sizes and heavy invites cost more to mail). Tell people to RSVP via phone or internet (set up a wedding website to help with this - there are loads of free ones) - saves postage and a few trees.
Cut out favours - or make them yourself and do something from the heart. Make everyone cookies - wrap two up in cellophane, put a ribbon on it and you have a tasty favour that people will love because food is good.
Do a laptop reception - if you haven't booked a DJ, don't. Use your iPod or laptop and see if your reception site has a sound system you could hook up to. Find a friend to be your MC/DJ/Music overseer to make sure no one touches it.
Those are just a few ideas . . . don't know if they will be of any help to you now, but I wish you well.
But I also think if you can't have the wedding of your dreams, and you think you'll regret that, maybe postponing wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Another thought - even if you have a small wedding this year, maybe you could have a huge "reception" to celebrate your one year anniversary.
Our big day is July 11, 2009
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New CB Member
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Last Login: 12/12/2008 3:37:29 PM
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I am getting married in December and my budget is $4000 (for everything - 50 guests). I have bolded the ideas that I am doing.
BeesGirl (10/22/2008)
Is there anything else you can cut back on? I'm guessing you have already put deposits down on stuff.
Putting out the word that cash gifts would be nice is a good start I think.
What haven't you booked? Because you can do cheaper and DIY things.
I.e. photographer - instead of booking a fab photog with flashy packages, book a "shoot and burn" photographer (any pro photogs out there, don't flame me for that) and they will just shoot your day and give you the pics on a CD. Then you can print your own pics wherever or print up books using programs like My Publisher when you can afford it.
Cake - do your own. Michaels apparently does cake decorating classes. Or do cupcakes. Or a sheet cake from Costco.
Flowers - DIY - you can order flowers from Costco cheap or even grocery stories - get some ribbon and wrap them up into a bouquet.
Cut back on the booze - if you're having an open bar and it's not included in a package price, get rid of it and charge for drinks. Offer just wine on the tables.
Change to an afternoon reception - this can actually cut costs for booze too and for food - wrap it up in time for people to leave for dinner. If you want to "party" then tell people to meet you at a bar/club for an "after party" - see if maybe the bar will get you a deal to get people in before a certain time.
Do your own invites - make them simple and make them to fit a normal sized envelope (odd sizes and heavy invites cost more to mail). Tell people to RSVP via phone or internet (set up a wedding website to help with this - there are loads of free ones) - saves postage and a few trees.
Cut out favours - or make them yourself and do something from the heart. Make everyone cookies - wrap two up in cellophane, put a ribbon on it and you have a tasty favour that people will love because food is good.
Do a laptop reception - if you haven't booked a DJ, don't. Use your iPod or laptop and see if your reception site has a sound system you could hook up to. Find a friend to be your MC/DJ/Music overseer to make sure no one touches it.
Those are just a few ideas . . . don't know if they will be of any help to you now, but I wish you well.
But I also think if you can't have the wedding of your dreams, and you think you'll regret that, maybe postponing wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Another thought - even if you have a small wedding this year, maybe you could have a huge "reception" to celebrate your one year anniversary.
I am having huge family issues and I really want to get this over and done with. Horrible, but true.
We are having a cocktail reception. The ceremony is at 7pm and the reception is right afterward. We are giving people three drink tickets each, anything above that they have to pay for.
We have not registered anywhere since we don't need anything (we have owned a house for over two years together).
My dress was $400 brand new (ordered) because it was part of the designers "informal" line.
Also, because I am hoping just for cash presents I am not having a shower (well my BM's have planned a surprise one that I "don't know about"... but I told everyone I didn't want one). That way I don't feel so bad about expecting cash gifts.
And when booking things try not to say "wedding". I have been calling and saying I am planning a party and noticed that things are cheaper (like my flowers).
Ikea is a good place to find cheap things to use a centerpieces.
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Group: Forum Members
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AstridG (10/22/2008)
My FH and I are in debt. He's been un/unemployed for some time now. We kept thinking if he got a job next week, it would all be good. Well here we are, less than three months away, and we're still in the same position.
If we go ahead with the wedding, and IF I can extend my line of credit, we'll be doubling our debt.
We're planning a moderate wedding - $13-15,000 budget, with 75 guests.
Today I started panicking and am wondering if we should
A) postphone
B) downgrade the event - get married at city hall and invite just close friends and family for a nice dinner afterwards
Is it too late do do either of these things - we've already sent STDs? Would it look REALLY bad?? Would I regret not having the wedding I want and resent FH forever??
Advice please!!
I would strongly recommend you DO NOT go into that much debt for 1 DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Yes, I know very well it's your wedding day and possibly the most memorable day of your life, but I really don't believe it is worthwhile to go into big time debt for it. And you're already freaked out by it, so clearly you're questioning if it's the right thing to do.I think having sent out the STD's put you in a difficult spot. You either invite everyone that got an STD and have a very scaled down wedding, or you invite just the bare minimum (his and your direct families) and send a card or something to the rest that received STD's saying you've changed the style of wedding and it's much smaller than originally planned.
Live. Love. Laugh. 10.27.07
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