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New CB Member
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| I need advice on how to motivate my fiance. We are two months away from our wedding and there is still tons of stuff left to do. In the beginning of wedding planning he was completely involved. He helped pick the venue, the photographer and DJ. He has a tendency to procrastinate in general so when we began to plan I knew that I would likely have to do most of the planning and diy projects. But, I had no idea it would get this bad. I had him make a list of things he would be interested in being involved with in the beginning so I wouldn't bore him with the details. But even things he said he was interested in he has not been motivated to do. Two primary examples-the ceremony musicians and designing the invitations. I have had to nag and nag to get it done- he has had over 4 months to do it and its still only partially done. I have talked, emailed, and cried numerous times. I am getting tired of my own voice. He is well aware of how I feel and what I expect. I have set deadlines that have come and gone. What is the most bothersome to me is realizing that this will likely be behaviour that goes beyond wedding plan. I have started to loose interest in planning; it has become a source of unhappiness and stress. If I had known it would have got to this point I would have settled for a small wedding-too late now. My question is has anyone else experience this? Any advice?
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Planning Addict
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| I did a little. I just sat FH down one night and flat out said "look this is our wedding and you have to help me do things, if you don't then you having to be doing something else that helps us" So when I was wedding shopping if he didn't want to come then he would have to do laundry - its only fair
~This is the day I will marry my best friend, The one I laugh with, live for and love~ May 31, 2008
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Loving Planning!
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| I had to make my DH a Power Point slideshow to highlight what I expected from him. It was the only way to get my point across when nagging and crying didn't work. I knew I would be doing most things myself, but it got a bit ridiculous. He got the point.
Chris Expecting baby #1 May 21st-ish, 2008
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New CB Member
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missdish (4/30/2008)
I did a little. I just sat FH down one night and flat out said "look this is our wedding and you have to help me do things, if you don't then you having to be doing something else that helps us" So when I was wedding shopping if he didn't want to come then he would have to do laundry - its only fair That's a really smart idea! He gets to make his own choices and you get stuff done!
"I know there is strength in the differences between us and I know there is comfort where we overlap."
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Planning Guru
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| I gave him his list, and told him that if he was going to help, great, if not, don't b*tch about my choices. When he doesn't do the stuff I ask him to, I simply say "if this is any indication of how married life will be, maybe we better put this wedding on hold. I prefer to have the breasts in this relationship, not the balls" Usually gets my point across 
~Kev & Jen 10.04.08~ "If Love is a Labor, I'll slave 'till the end, I won't cross these streets until you Hold my Hand" One of two cranky Virgos in the Grumps Club!!
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Planning Addict
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32flavors (4/30/2008)
missdish (4/30/2008)
I did a little. I just sat FH down one night and flat out said "look this is our wedding and you have to help me do things, if you don't then you having to be doing something else that helps us" So when I was wedding shopping if he didn't want to come then he would have to do laundry - its only fair That's a really smart idea! He gets to make his own choices and you get stuff done! Thanks! It worked! We go to my Mom's to do laundry since our apt doesn't have laundry. So we would go out and he would stay there and take care of it, or I work on wedding he does dishes. Planning the wedding is another full time job!
~This is the day I will marry my best friend, The one I laugh with, live for and love~ May 31, 2008
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Planning Guru
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jen39 (4/30/2008)
I gave him his list, and told him that if he was going to help, great, if not, don't b*tch about my choices. When he doesn't do the stuff I ask him to, I simply say "if this is any indication of how married life will be, maybe we better put this wedding on hold. I prefer to have the breasts in this relationship, not the balls" Usually gets my point across lol nice.
~Adrienne~
Finally got hitched September 2, 2007
I have flying monkeys and I'm not afraid to use them!!!! 
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Planning Guru
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I usually don't have this problem, but I do get the "Whatever you like hun" ALOT, so when he does that, just as a joke I say "Hey, do you think this is easy, how bout I let you plan the whole thing? Could you do this on your own? Than why should I?" That usually gets him to laugh and fake pout, and then he'll give me an answer to whatever I was asking.
~*~)O(~*~ Worlds biggest mind changer alert Unless you just asked me 10 seconds ago You can never be sure ~*~)O(~*~
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