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RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:47:30 GMT

[quote][b]Beltsie (7/6/2008)[/b][hr]In the Edmonton Journal today, there's an article about how the manager at a local restaurant asked the parents of a 5 year old autistic girl to leave. I guess she became disruptive after the meal she wanted was unavailable. The parents were trying to calm her down when they were asked to leave. It's doesn;t say how long she was being disruptive for.

When the parents told the manager that she was autistic and would calm down shortly, the manager said if they knew she would be like that, they shouldn't take her out in public at all.

As for being asked to leave, I think it would depend on how long she was disruptive for (I wish it said), but I think the manager was out of line with his comment about never taking her out in public. [/quote]

I agree

if she was 'disruptive

for maybe 5 minutes and was winding down, then no biggie. If she was screeching uncontrollably for 20 minutes or something, then thats a little excessive. The manager's comment was insensitive and completely out of line.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

Beltsie — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:42:54 GMT

In the Edmonton Journal today, there's an article about how the manager at a local restaurant asked the parents of a 5 year old autistic girl to leave. I guess she became disruptive after the meal she wanted was unavailable. The parents were trying to calm her down when they were asked to leave. It's doesn;t say how long she was being disruptive for.

When the parents told the manager that she was autistic and would calm down shortly, the manager said if they knew she would be like that, they shouldn't take her out in public at all.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 10:09:23 GMT

[quote][b]2bwed0609 (7/6/2008)[/b][hr]My Stepson has a developmental disability and can be highly inappropriate sometimes. We talk to him about his behaviour and about appropriateness, and remove him from the situation if he's unable to cope to social norms in a situation where it would ruin the experience for others.

.[/quote]

It is good to hear your POV, seeing as you actually CAN see both sides of it

RE: First it was babies in movies...

2bwed0609 — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 10:02:07 GMT

My Stepson has a developmental disability and can be highly inappropriate sometimes. We talk to him about his behaviour and about appropriateness, and remove him from the situation if he's unable to cope to social norms in a situation where it would ruin the experience for others.

But some parents are highly protective of their disabled kids and think everyone should just make allowances for them in situations where it's not necessarily warranted (sometimes it is, but some people blur the lines between when it is and is not because they're just so wrapped up in dealing with the disability), and I've found this through participating at the activities I take my Stepson to all the time where he socializes with other kids and adults with issues like his.

Some parents are embarrassed by their kids behaviour and other parents feel like their child has been so hard done by (and really, they are), that everyone else should make allowances for them. In some cases this makes sense and is appropriate. In my opinion its not the right thing to do to have that opinion (that the world should just put up with it because he's gotten the short end of the stick and has dealt with enough) in a movie theatre. But I do see how the dad likely felt that way (I'm assuming here) not that it makes it right.

Thankfully my SS does well in movie theatres. He's not someone who just shouts out and makes random noises most of the time - he is not that severely disabled and we thank gawd for that every day - it could be a lot worse to be honest. I've met some parents of severely disabled kids and I commend them; I just don't know how they get thru the day every day, I really don't. But I guess you just do. Like we do with my stepson, even though the problems are far less severe than what some other families have to deal with.

But if he didn't do well in movie theatres, I would think we just wouldn't take him. He doesn't do well in restaurants, but we still take him sometimes. He doesn't disrupt others, just the people at his table sometimes (us, family, friends, etc.) as he gets very moody like a small child. In those cases we have been known to leave the restaurant when he acts up too much. I think the father in the movie theatre probably should have done the same.

If I were in the OPs shoes, I would have just gone to the front and asked for my money back and come back another day. No anger, because really the theatre would be putting themselves at risk of being sued unfortunately if they kicked the dad and his son out (you never know what people will pull these days in support of their children no matter what they do), but I definitely would've been disappointed and annoyed.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

AmieL — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:51:39 GMT

I would LOVE to take my son to a movie - mind you, a kids movie...BUT, he is only just turned 2, and I am not quite sure that he would sit quietly through an entire movie, and so, we are waiting until he is a bit older.

If we did take him to a movie, and he was disrupting the movie, I would remove him from the theatre...it's not fair that others should be disturbed.

I also don't think it is fair that this man's son was in the theatre being loud while others were trying to watch a movie - it's unfortunate, but maybe going to a theatre just isn't possible for him.

My husband and I went out on a date a few months ago - very rare for us - and even rarer still to go to a movie as we are always so tired we don't generally like to stay up that late - but anyway, we went to a movie - well...the theatre was not busy at all, but there was one girl who had a ridiculously horrible cough - I mean, she was hacking and coughing and choking...NONSTOP!! Everyone else in the theatre was so annoyed with her - a few people made loud comments like, "shouldn't you be home in bed?" It was horrible. A few people left the theatre...not the coughing girl...no...she stayed through the entire movie...we honestly did not hear half the movie because of her...we stayed because to be perfectly honest, we thought that eventually she would do the right thing and get up and leave....sigh. It was not fun.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

MrsZator — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:28:09 GMT

[quote][b]crysandjim (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]crysandjim (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]BeeBear (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]I think the Father should have had common sense enough to leave if his son was yelling throughout the entire movie. I can certainly see why the staff wouldn't say anything, they'd smell a lawsuit. The Father would know his son's ability best and he probably knew ahead of time that his son would be disrupting the entire audience the entire time, it's a shame he had no consideration for others. [/quote]

for sure[/quote]

I think the theatre staff should've offered them a free pass to see it again another time. I'm sure the father didn't want to leave b/c he'd lose his money, and I totally agree that the theatre didn't want to be called discriminatory.[/quote]

but thats just it. Can I go to a theatre, talk on my cell phone LOUDLY the whole time, swear at the movie, or keep standing up or something? No, I cant. The father should have reacted to the situation. I know it was a sticky spot for staff, but giving 100 people free passes isn't going to work in their favor either, is it?[/quote]

Exactly! And he was obviously there for himself not his son. I think that is pretty selfish if you ask me.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

jen39 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:13:29 GMT

[quote][b]Kyrra (7/2/2008)[/b][hr] the son is enjoying the movie. the only way he knows how.. [/quote]

I don't mean to jump on you or anything, but if you step back, how do you know he was enjoying it? I don't know much about this wanted movie, but I know if my fiance sat me down to watch saw 4 or something, I'd probably scream the entire movie, but not from enjoyment, from sheer terror (I HATE horror movies). it is possible that the son WASN'T enjoying the movie. I mean maybe he was, and he was excited, or maybe it scared him and he was expressing this in the best way he knew how. I too have worked with kids/adults with severe mental/physical disabilities, and like everyone has already said, its common sense. In order to get socialized, yes, they need to get out into the public. But taking someone who, for instance, can handle long periods of time in larger crowds, to a zoo all day or an amusement park? probably not a really great idea, right?

eta: oops...someone already said this...sorry!

RE: First it was babies in movies...

aotter — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:59:42 GMT

I dunno, whether you have a disability or not, if you are really disruptive in a public place such as a movie theatre and that one person is ruining the experience for everyone else I think they should leave. Why should 100 ppl or however many are in there pay $10 or more for a movie that they can't enjoy b/c there is a disruptive handicapped person in the theatre? its unfortunate but its not fair. We shouldn't have to put up with anything when we try to go out and enoy a movie. I think the father was extremely rude and inconsiderate. I understand that his child is handicapped but b/c of those circumstances I don't think that gives him special rights to do whatever he pleases and to not care about everyone else's right to enjoy the movie in peace. I'm pretty sure he would get really angry if I sat beside him and talked through the whole movie or just sat there and screamed noises in his ear during the whole thing. I also understand that his kid is handicapped and probably can't help it but as a parent is it not his duty to use his parental discrection in these types of situations such as a mother and her baby would?

jmo.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

Beltsie — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:18:37 GMT

[quote][b]Adrea (7/2/2008)[/b][hr][People with disabilities should not be treated differently then others, nor should they be put into situations that will show them in a bad light. It does not help to give people special treatment just because they have a disability, alot of the kids and adults I work with have had special rules for them and get away with murder because people feel sorry for them. At my work we call it the SBS=Spoiled Brat Syndrome.[/quote]

Totally agree with this. Just because someone has a disability, does not mean they should be treated differently. Based on comments in this thread, the consensus seems to be 'let them experience everything "normal" people experience'. If that's the case, they should be held to the same standards as the rest of us. Do we allow people with disabilities to hit other people? We shouldn't, because then they will think that it's OK to hit someone.

While the boy would benefit from social interaction, a loud movie theatre, where he's disrupting the entire theatre, is not an appropriate place to do it.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

Adrea — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:41:13 GMT

[quote][b]Kyrra (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]how else do you socilize someone if you dont take them out in public.. yes i understand he was being disruptive. he was likely excited about the movie.. Everyone has the right to go see a movie.. People need to be more tolerent. you cant keep someone housebound because they are to much work or makes noise when you dont want them to.. what kind of life is that.

Do i think the father should have been asked to leave.. I know if it was me in the theater and in the same situation.. I would not want the father and his son to leave.. the son is enjoying the movie. the only way he knows how.. but thats just me. My husband doesnt feel the same way. he would want them to leave..

there was/is a customer that comes into a resturant that has a mental disability.. there are a few actually. this little girls name is Abigale. she has downs.. and highly impatient.. i was on my break. and just sitting in the resturant. her mom. was visiting with a friend. abby was bored.. and making it known she was bored.. did i ask her to leave.. no.. i went over and played a game with her.. we sat there my entire break.. and she has the best time. I didnt know this person from a hole in the wall. Why did i go play a game with Abby.. Because she was bored. and frankly so was i.. that was 5 years ago. Abby and I are still great friends..... and her mom is awesome. it brought tears to her eyes that someone would take the time to get to know her daughter without judgement... [/quote]

Noone is saying that he shouldn't be out in public, just that he should not be somewhere where you need to be quiet. I do this as my career and have been helping people who have come out of institutions become part of society. Going to a movie when someone is not able to be quiet does not help them socialize, taking him to a concert/ karoake/loud restaurant is more appropriate if he is a loud person. You cannot assume that he is being loud because he is enjoying it, usually with the people I support it means that they can't handle the stimulation. People with disabilities should not be treated differently then others, nor should they be put into situations that will show them in a bad light. It does not help to give people special treatment just because they have a disability, alot of the kids and adults I work with have had special rules for them and get away with murder because people feel sorry for them. At my work we call it the SBS=Spoiled Brat Syndrome.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

cfranke — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:31:49 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/2/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]Kyrra (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]how else do you socilize someone if you dont take them out in public.. [/quote]

I agree with this, but I'm not sure the movie theatre is an appropriate place for teaching socialization. There's not much interaction with other people.

Like I said, I don't think the disabled should be housebound. But I also don't think they should be allowed to disrupt an entire theatre either. If you really want to see the movie, rent it.[/quote]

I totally agree. The father *should* know his son's limitations, and be guided by them. IF he knows his son is loud, he should not be taking him to a theatre to watch a movie. He will enjoy it just as much on DVD in a few months...

Now...if he were in a movie theatre, I would be angry too....however, if he were in a restaurant...not so much. I really wouldn't care at all. But I think of the theatre as somewhere you go and need to be quiet...in a restaurant, the atmosphere is a bit different. It invites conversation and laughing...it is definitely NOT a 'quiet' place by any means!

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BellzBride — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:20:14 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/2/2008)[/b][hr][quote]Everyone has the right to go see a movie.. [/quote]

See, I just can't agree with this. Seeing a movie isn't a right, it's a privilege. And like all privileges, it can be revoked if not used appropriately.

I'm broke. I can't afford to go to the movies. Should I be allowed to go anyway? No, because it doesn't work that way. If I want to see a movie, I rent it. And if I couldn't afford to rent it, I'd wait until it came on tv. That's just how it works.

Food, clothing, shelter, freedom from abuse? Those are rights. Seeing a movie is not.[/quote]

That`s a very good point, I didn`t even think about it like that.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BeeBear — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:16:34 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/2/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]Kyrra (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]how else do you socilize someone if you dont take them out in public.. [/quote]

I agree with this, but I'm not sure the movie theatre is an appropriate place for teaching socialization. There's not much interaction with other people.

Like I said, I don't think the disabled should be housebound. But I also don't think they should be allowed to disrupt an entire theatre either. If you really want to see the movie, rent it.[/quote]

[quote][b]crysandjim (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]no one has said that they shouldn't be allowed in public, or even hinted at it[/quote]

Ditto to both. :)

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sarahandrob2010 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:51:15 GMT

[quote]Everyone has the right to go see a movie.. [/quote]

See, I just can't agree with this. Seeing a movie isn't a right, it's a privilege. And like all privileges, it can be revoked if not used appropriately.

Food, clothing, shelter, freedom from abuse? Those are rights. Seeing a movie is not.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:38:00 GMT

no one has said that they shouldn't be allowed in public, or even hinted at it

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sarahandrob2010 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:32:06 GMT

[quote][b]Kyrra (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]how else do you socilize someone if you dont take them out in public.. [/quote]

I agree with this, but I'm not sure the movie theatre is an appropriate place for teaching socialization. There's not much interaction with other people.

Like I said, I don't think the disabled should be housebound. But I also don't think they should be allowed to disrupt an entire theatre either. If you really want to see the movie, rent it.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

Kyrra — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:20:41 GMT

how else do you socilize someone if you dont take them out in public.. yes i understand he was being disruptive. he was likely excited about the movie.. Everyone has the right to go see a movie.. People need to be more tolerent. you cant keep someone housebound because they are to much work or makes noise when you dont want them to.. what kind of life is that.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

ejhpaine — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 01:18:30 GMT

Also, most theatres offer a full refund within the first 30 mins of the movie. The father and son could have left and got their money back as could have anyone who didn't like the noise.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BellzBride — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:30:01 GMT

[quote][b]sweetpea61 (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]Sadly, common courtesy really isn't all that common anymore.[/quote]

Nor is common sense. So very frustrating...... :blink:

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sweetpea61 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:05:10 GMT

Sadly, common courtesy really isn't all that common anymore.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:31:55 GMT

ok, that makes more sense

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sarahandrob2010 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:16:44 GMT

[quote]but thats just it. Can I go to a theatre, talk on my cell phone LOUDLY the whole time, swear at the movie, or keep standing up or something? No, I cant. The father should have reacted to the situation. I know it was a sticky spot for staff, but giving 100 people free passes isn't going to work in their favor either, is it?[/quote]

I totally agree with you.

What I meant (and admittedly didn't say well) was that they should've offered the father and his son free passes to leave while they were being disruptive. Sort of like a peace offering, you know?

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:10:43 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]crysandjim (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]BeeBear (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]I think the Father should have had common sense enough to leave if his son was yelling throughout the entire movie. I can certainly see why the staff wouldn't say anything, they'd smell a lawsuit. The Father would know his son's ability best and he probably knew ahead of time that his son would be disrupting the entire audience the entire time, it's a shame he had no consideration for others. [/quote]

for sure[/quote]

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sarahandrob2010 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:02:54 GMT

[quote][b]crysandjim (7/1/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]BeeBear (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]I think the Father should have had common sense enough to leave if his son was yelling throughout the entire movie. I can certainly see why the staff wouldn't say anything, they'd smell a lawsuit. The Father would know his son's ability best and he probably knew ahead of time that his son would be disrupting the entire audience the entire time, it's a shame he had no consideration for others. [/quote]

for sure[/quote]

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BellzBride — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:34:57 GMT

Just like the whole discussion about babies at movies, I really think it all boils down to common sense. In a place like that where silence is needed to enjoy what you have paid for, then the father really should have had the common sense (and courtesy) to politely leave if there was such a disruptance.

If I've paid good money to go and see a movie, I wouldn't want anyone disrupting it- whether it's a baby, handicapped individual, or someone constantly chatting or fiddling with their cell phone.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:26:36 GMT

[quote][b]BeeBear (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]I think the Father should have had common sense enough to leave if his son was yelling throughout the entire movie. I can certainly see why the staff wouldn't say anything, they'd smell a lawsuit. The Father would know his son's ability best and he probably knew ahead of time that his son would be disrupting the entire audience the entire time, it's a shame he had no consideration for others. [/quote]

for sure

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BeeBear — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:22:48 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]It's a fine line. Where's the line between discrimination, and allowing everyone else to enjoy themselves?

My kids don't behave very well. My son is 11 and has ADHD and ODD. He can't control himself very well; some days (and some months even!) are better than others. As a result, I don't take him out much.

I would think that the father of the disabled boy who can't control himself (through no fault of his own) should have the courtesy to keep him home and rent the movie, where they can watch without disturbing others.

Does it suck? You bet. Is it common courtesy? I think so.

Now, this does not mean that I don't think disabled people should be allowed to enjoy activities outside their homes. If they have the ability to stay quiet through a movie (which is expected of everyone, really), then I have no problem with it whatsoever. Same with babies: if the babies are sleeping and/or eating and they're quiet, I have no problem with that.

I just can't imagine ruining other people's enjoyment and not feeling guilty about it.[/quote]

I totally agree.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

BeeBear — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:21:29 GMT

I think the Father should have had common sense enough to leave if his son was yelling throughout the entire movie. I can certainly see why the staff wouldn't say anything, they'd smell a lawsuit. The Father would know his son's ability best and he probably knew ahead of time that his son would be disrupting the entire audience the entire time, it's a shame he had no consideration for others.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

Adrea — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:31:13 GMT

I too work with people with disabilities and have to agree, they should be treated just like everyone else. It is extremely rude for anyone to be yelling in places that require you to be able to sit and be quiet. I take people at work to the movies and out to restaurants all the time. If they are unable to sit or act appropriately then we leave immediately. The father in that situation is not helping his son out any by bringing him somewhere where either 1) he won't or 2) isn't able to act socially appropriate. People in the community alot of times aren't accepting of people with disabilities already so it doesn't make it better for the son to be put in a situation where he may be on the recieving end of unwelcoming looks and comments. Just remember most times it it the caregivers fault for putting people in situations that they aren't able to handle, so please do not take it out on the person with the disability:)

RE: First it was babies in movies...

sarahandrob2010 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:26:38 GMT

It's a fine line. Where's the line between discrimination, and allowing everyone else to enjoy themselves?

Does it suck? You bet. Is it common courtesy? I think so.

I just can't imagine ruining other people's enjoyment and not feeling guilty about it.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

crysandjim — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:14:46 GMT

[quote][b]July7Bride (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]I'm speechless. I personally don't think that the father should have to leave. His son has a mental disability, the theatre would be discriminating against him if he asked him to leave. If they were at a restaurant and the son was yelling out and making noises should he be asked to leave? No, so why leave the movies. It's just wrong. I think that people need to have a bit more of an open mind and just deal with it.[/quote]

Actually, if while in a restaraunt someone was making that much of a disturbance, then yes they would have been asked to leave. This is getting into dangerous territory and I hope I dont offend anyone.
I worked with mentally and physically handicapped adults. My job was to assist them in daily living, wether it was helping prepare meals, or taking them to a movie, or to take them to volunteer somewhere. There were plenty of times where we needed to remove someone from a situation because it was too overwhelming for them. Perhaps the son wasnt enjoying the movie, or felt scared, but his father wanted to see the movie so he made his son go...who knows, none of us know the circumstances. Maybe the son was making such noise because he was loving it.
Forget for a second that it was a handicapped person doing this...how would you feel about anyone else yelling throughout the whole movie? You would be upset as well, and wish they would leave. I am not saying that handicapped people shouldn't be allowed in public, because, hey, its their public too. They are people in every way that we are, and should be able to enjoy whatever it is they want to do. But in this case it is not discrimination...if the father had paid for every single person in that theatre to see the movie, then OK deal with it. But it costs alot now to see movies..I know that, personally, I took my 5 year old to a kids movie recently, and there was one child that ruined the whole thing for both of us. We had to change seats 2 times, once was because my daughter asked me to. This boy kept following us around, jumping on seats, throwing things and would not stop talking to my daughter, while she wanted to watch the movie. His grandmother did nothing but say 'shhh' a few times. I now have to spend the money to see that movie again, even if i only rent it, as I am sure teh OP will likely have to do herself

RE: First it was babies in movies...

July7Bride — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 11:03:18 GMT

I'm speechless. I personally don't think that the father should have to leave. His son has a mental disability, the theatre would be discriminating against him if he asked him to leave. If they were at a restaurant and the son was yelling out and making noises should he be asked to leave? No, so why leave the movies. It's just wrong. I think that people need to have a bit more of an open mind and just deal with it.

RE: First it was babies in movies...

schrambony — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:56:29 GMT

and for the record, the son yelled throughout the WHOLE movie, and it wasn't a huge theatre.

First it was babies in movies...

schrambony — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:54:34 GMT

So we had a post before asking everyone's opinons on whether babies should be allowed in movies....which I'm sure we all remember.

Well, now I have a new question.

Should a parent with a mentally handicapped child, regardless of age be allowed to in movies?

The reason for asking this is because on the weekend we went to the mall to see Wanted (great movie by the way), and while walking around we saw a man pushing his son, I am guessing a teenager around, in a wheelchair who was shouting and screaming and making noises.

Once we got the theatre, and got our seats, the father came in the with the son and took a seat. The son was SO loud, and during the previews kept screaming out and making noises. (on top of the fact a mother was there with a baby who kept screaming during loud parts, but she finally left after 20 minutes)

Someone in front of me got up and went to get a employee of the cinema, who must have told her he can't do anything because she came back saying 'this is bull***, i pay to come in here to see a movie and they won't ask someone who is disturbing the movie to leave'.

Do you think the father should have taken it upon himself to leave? Do you think he should have to leave if asked?