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RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

MrsAlmost — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:52:37 GMT

So I was thinking........You've said your first wedding wasn't what you wanted, so why don't you make a list of what you wanted your wedding to be and use that as a starting point. You may not be able to do them all, but maybe you could pick out the elements that were important and use these to "drive" your second wedding - who knows, the rest may just fall into place. I think a vow renewal is a great idea. I'm trying to plant the idea that each year on our anniversary we renew our vows (just the two of us - and nothing fancy) as a way to remind us what we've promised, and not to allow us to take each other and our marriage for granted. Could be the start of a great tradition for you to start (not throwing a wedding every year, but you know, taking the time out to revisit your vows)

Good luck! Can't wait to see how this one turns out :D

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 22:55:16 GMT

Gah!
It's been a month, and I still haven't decided!!!!
Bumping for new eyes, and hopefully new opinions :)

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

lovemrk — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:10:49 GMT

Zim, I hope your second wedding is everything you hope and dream it will be!!!! You deserve it sweetie! Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:05:33 GMT

[quote][b]jenncondon (7/6/2008)[/b][hr]Money is certainly a factor, but I have to say, as much as i want to do it all over again, the first wedding really was so amazing, I don't think we will be able to recreate it or top it. We would really only be competing with ourselves.[/quote]

It's nice to know someone who is also having a second wedding! :)

Money is a factor for us, as well. We definitely don't have the finances to do something similar to the Canada wedding again, and the guest list for the New Zealand version will be at least double!! :blink:

I'm a little different to you though... My Canada wedding was not at all what I wanted, so I'm looking forward to having almost total control over what happens in New Zealand.

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

jenncondon — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:31:08 GMT

Zim,

The good thing is that i don't think you can go "wrong" here. And I guess your budget will dictate that scope of the second wedding. We're in a similar situation actaully - I got married in Ireland in June and am having a second reception in Canada in September.

There was much debate about what to do for the second reception. We had originally planned on having a full reception, with a seated dinner and everything, but like yourself, I've kinda run out of steam after the "first" wedding (even though I miss wedding planning like crazy). In the end, I think we are going to do cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. Money is certainly a factor, but I have to say, as much as i want to do it all over again, the first wedding really was so amazing, I don't think we will be able to recreate it or top it. We would really only be competing with ourselves. Hence, the stripped down version of canapes and drinks. I think we will still ahve a DJ etc so we have a good party and a boogie.

I think showing the video of the ceremony is a great idea (I think we are doing that as well). However, because your second reception is a year later, I also think a vow renewal makes perfect sense! I guess I'm not much help! As a PP said, I'm sure your grandfather will be delighted with anything you do.

Best of luck,
Jenn

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:32:28 GMT

[quote][b]kaisag (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]It is completely up to you guys...[/quote]

Definitely! Unfortunately neither of us are quite sure what to do yet...

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

kaisag — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:26:30 GMT

It is completely up to you guys, I think whichever of those you choose will be great. My friend married an Aussie last year and they had 2 weddings, one here and one in Australia, and they basically did the whole she-bang twice, with first dance, cake cutting, dinner, ceremony (actually it was a vow renewal) and all. :P

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:26:40 GMT

Thank you so much for all your responses!!

It really does seem to be a matter of personal taste... So I am going to have to make a decision soon!! But I must say all the stories and opinions are helping me to decide. Please keep them coming! :)

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

canoe-girl — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:33:46 GMT

My friends went through something similar. They got married in Waterloo in August, and then went out to BC in September for a second wedding, as his parents couldn't make it to Ontario for health reasons.

They did a complete ceremony, and she got to wear her dress again. Then they had a dinner and dance. It was on a slightly more casual scale than there first wedding in Ontario, but I think all of his BC friends and family appreciated it.:D

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

2geminis — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:06:50 GMT

The traditional handfasting ceremony is like a marriage ceremony only it is meant to be renewed in one year. The couple promises to love and honour each other for one year, if the relationship does not work out, the couple is free to go on with their lives as before without the legal hastle. This may sound cold, but it makes a lot of sense in this day and age of short-term marriages. If the couple wishes to continue together, they then take a permanant vow or have the choice of handfasting for another year.

Now your situation is somewhat different, but I think a similar approach could work. You got married this past spring, if you go down to NZ for your one year anniversary and have a small ceremony to renew your vows it would not be wierd. Often the first year is the hardest on a new couple and reaffirming your commitment at the end may make for a good idea. I wouldn't go all out as you did here, but perhaps ask your family down there to plan something simple for you.

From what I have seen from the DW brides it is very difficult to plan a wedding from a distance, so perhaps asking grandad to gather a few trusted relatives with good taste and good money sense to find a location and makesome of the arrangements on your behalf would make him feel more a part of it.

You could show the video of your Canadian ceremony so that your grandfather can have a chance to see it, then have your grandfather's minister (if he attends church) perform a second, repeat performance in front of everyone live. You wouldn't need the full thing, just a reading of the vows, and you could wear your dress and have a florist and hairdresser recreat your look.

Simple cocktails and maybe a friendly buffet service would probably be sufficiant for the festivities and of course have some dancing. This way you aren't recreating the ceremony fully, but they get to see a live demontstration of the original. Your grandfather would appreciate all the effort and it would be a great way to solidify your bond further.

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Celestial — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:04:51 GMT

I picked #2. I'd still wear the dress again for sure!! lol. But I'm not sure about going through the whole ceremony again. A video of the Canadian wedding would be great! As a previous poster said, then your NZ guests will get to see "the moment" and emotion etc that happened on your wedding day.

You could still have a full reception with new speaches etc, i see nothing wrong with that, and would be a nice touch. I just thinking a second ceremony is just like going thru the motions, it wont be the same

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Nicotina — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:57:40 GMT

I like option 2 & 3. I think it would be nice to show your family in NZ what your CAN wedding was like as well as give them a bit of a wedding.

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:27:54 GMT

[quote][b]sarahandrob09 (7/2/2008)[/b][hr]Is there any way you can schedule the NZ wedding for when it *is* summer down there?[/quote]

I originally wanted to have it in December 2008, but didn't check with my husband!! He'll be busy with work in December, so it's not really an option. I wish we could have it in warmer weather down there, but I don't think it can happen :unsure:

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

LaurieK — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 06:58:58 GMT

I voted for a vow renewal.. can you get married again after your already married ???

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

sarahandrob2010 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 05:33:51 GMT

Either way, I think it would be great for your NZ guests to have the chance to make speeches and such, like they did at your Canada wedding :)

Is there any way you can schedule the NZ wedding for when it *is* summer down there?

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

wendylady — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:13:24 GMT

I voted for option # 2... I think that would be wonderful!!! good luck and let us know what happens

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:18:21 GMT

[quote][b]eeklrb (7/1/2008)[/b][hr]When would this "second wedding" be...in like 6 months? a year?
Are you planning on wearing your dress again?[/quote]

We got married in Canada on May 31st, and the New Zealand wedding is likely to be in April of next year. I would love for it to be on our first anniversary, but I plan to wear my dress again and it's not very nice weather in New Zealand in May!

That's why I'm wondering if a vow renewal would be weird...

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

Beltsie — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:12:42 GMT

I like the idea of showing the video of the Canadian wedding, since it's the ceremony where you were wed, and all the emotions and such that you felt during the ceremony would be protrayed on the screen.

IMO, a second ceremony wouldn't have the same meaning as the first. This way, they see the ceremony, then get a chance to celebrate with you and your DH :)

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

eeklrb — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 23:55:37 GMT

I wanted to vote for 2 options, but I can't. You could show a video of the Canada ceremony, do a vow renewal, and then have a dinner and dance for your NZ guests. I think that would be lovely. I agree with the PP that a renewal of your vows would be really special. When would this "second wedding" be...in like 6 months? a year? My only thing with a vow renewal would be, if you just got married, like...3 months ago- why are you already renewing your vows?! That is JUST ME though...you could totally do it whenever. I think it would be nice either way...:)

Are you planning on wearing your dress again?

RE: What should my "second wedding" look like?

EmilieJ87 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 23:52:04 GMT

I really like the idea of the 'vow renewal' because it'll be less hassle for you than doing an entirely new wedding all together, but it will be more intimate and more meaningful for your New Zealand guests than watching a video of your Canadian wedding would be. Approximately how many guests are you expecting at your second wedding?

I really think that it's very nice that you are doing something this special for your grandfather since he can't travel. I'm sure he'll appreciate whatever you do! :D

What should my "second wedding" look like?

Zim — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 23:38:59 GMT

My husband and I decided to have two weddings, one in Canada (first) and one in New Zealand (second). My grandfather will be 90 this year, so he can't travel... and it's important to me for him to see me married.

However, now that the Canada wedding is over, both my husband and I have lost quite a lot of that enthusiasm for weddings!! I'm not sure what shape the New Zealand wedding should take. I don't want to short-change the New Zealand guests, but at the same time a total re-enactment of the Canada wedding seems quite a strange idea.

What do you think?

Any ideas other than the ones in the poll?