InstantForum.NET v4.1.4CanadianBride.com Talkboardshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/bounce@canadianbride.comThu, 20 Nov 2008 07:22:55 GMT20http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxI had a similar situation with 2 of my firends. My best friend (KR) and I have been very close since grade 11 but she's bipolar and rather unreliable. So I asked another good friend of mine (CM) if she'd be able to fill in in the case that my other friend (KR) is unable to make it for whatever reason. She (CM) understood that I had to include FH's sister (JA) in the wedding party and didn't want more people in the wedding party then guests attending. She (CM) was pleased to know I wanted her there with me but that FH's sister (JA) was there for political reasons to keep the peace. </P><P>I would really hate to make last minute adjustments but I am completely prepared for whatever my unreliable friend (KR) throws my way. I'm just glad my back up (CM) understands the situation and that though she is my back up she's still my first choice. Funny how family (JA) likes to complicate things... but I love em anyways.</P><P>I think that if they are close enough friends to be in the wedding party they are close enough to know the truth... though this may not always be the case. I certainly wouldn't tell FH's sister (JA) that I only asked her to make her happy. I Just hope she doesn't cause a fuss when it comes time to picking out the dresses.Fri, 14 Apr 2006 01:38:21 GMTColeKhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxPersonally, I'd speak to the guy and make absolutely sure he isnt able to come to the wedding before replacing him. If he is absolutely sure, then go ahead and replace him. I wouldnt tell the new guy that he is replacing someone else ... there really isnt a need to tell him anything. Ask him as if you just asked everyone ... really, in a case like this, what he doesnt know, wont hurt his feelings.Fri, 14 Apr 2006 01:00:04 GMTMrsMtobehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxi agree with some points made</P><P>he's a guy - they just don't think that hard about stuff like this and they don't read more into it like a lot of women do</P><P>there must be some reason you think he may not show up. can you give a timeline that you have to know for sure?</P><P>and if you can't get an early enough confirmation you may simply have to pick another guy and say - there's this problem and joe might not be able to make it and if he can't would you mind filling in. let the guy know that its a just in case and not necessarily replacing the first guy.</P><P>worse comes to worse you might have to pick a guy based on his measurements to make sure the tux fits, lol</P><P>we're in mb and have a guy coming from on. so for us until he shows up at the airport their will always be that "what if" chance. i certainly wouldn't feel bad about asking someone else to fill in last minute if needed, though i'd want to give more than last minute notice he *might* be neededWed, 12 Apr 2006 18:17:02 GMTmombridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxWe had a similar problem. I am in Manitoba, and my MOH just moved to Alberta, and won't even be able to make it back for the wedding. As we started, there were going to be 3 BM and 4 GM, so that left us with 4 and 2, which I didn't want. I ended up asking FH cousin's wife (he is also a GM) to step in, as she will be family, and I won't regret involving her. She is more than happy to help, adn this has given us the chance to become closer. Might I add this all happened less than 3 months before the wedding.Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:28:02 GMTcrysandjimhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxOnly thing is, you said there's "a chance" the groomsman won't make it. What happens if you ask the new guy and then the old GM pulls through? I figure you're best to be honest and ask the new guy conditionally. </P><P>I think in general the other poster was right about guys not thinking a second-best ranking is a slight when it comes to this type of thing... I know FH wouldn't care and would be happy to fill in for a friend at last minute, regardless of when he was asked!Tue, 11 Apr 2006 18:56:07 GMTsmirlehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxYour choice but I would ask without an explanation... then if pushed explain further. Most, if good friends, are happy to fill in and don't feel second best. Plus, he's a guy... they don't think about this nearly as much as females...Tue, 11 Apr 2006 18:30:01 GMTScotBridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxI would just ask someone else. I wouldn't be offended if I was asked 2nd... I mean, most people have more than 3-4 or 5 friends and most of the time you're "obliged" to ask certain people. I'm sure the fill-in will understand. I would ask another guy!Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:24:46 GMTfaschahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10711-6-1.aspxslight little bump is the road. There is a chance one of our groomsmen will not be able to come to the wedding now. We are pretty sad about that. But now we are faced with a slight delema.<br><br>do we ask another friend, and tell him that the other guy couldn't make it, or not tell him at all. Or would it just be rude to "replace" him so just not have someone else fill in and have an uneven bridal party?Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:14:49 GMTaschimpf