InstantForum.NET v4.1.4CanadianBride.com Talkboardshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/bounce@canadianbride.comTue, 02 Dec 2008 09:21:42 GMT20http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxWhy does this always happen? Why do families think they can dictate what is appropriate and what isn't? (Unless they're paying...that might be another story.) It seems like you've bent over backwards to accomodate everyone and it seems like you've done a pretty good job too!</P><P>Isn't it YOUR wedding? Who's wedding is it? That's right...YOUR wedding!</P><P>It's a day for you and your FH. You can have the whole wedding in Arabic if you want to! That way noone will understand anything...there, that's fair!</P><P>(sorry, I'm grumpy today!)Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:08:11 GMTDeeDee401http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxyou know what.. my sister's wedding was mostly in Macedonian (her hubby is) and most of us didn't understand it.. we had our pastor there adding in bits and pieces here and there.. </P><P><FONT color=#1f5080 size=2>what about having an italian priest too?? or is that just too complicated?</FONT>Thu, 13 Apr 2006 16:21:01 GMTdansfiancehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxThanks, finally somebody understands my point of view. I love these boards, everybody is so helpful.Thu, 13 Apr 2006 13:09:37 GMTBeatahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxI think your Fh's family needs to stop being so selfish! For god's sakes YOUR family DOESN'T speak english, and you're having your entire mass in english! So they aren't going to fully understand their daughters wedding mass!!! and your fh's family is complaining about not understanding the words to the music? Give me a break.<br><br>I think you need to make it clear to them, that you have to make BOTH sides comfortable, and this is the way you're going to do it. plain and simple.<br><br>And tell your FSIL that if someone decides not to show up because they won't understand the music, good riddance. They aren't the kind of people that are truly going to be happy for YOU and FH on that day.<br><br>AshThu, 13 Apr 2006 13:06:20 GMTash216http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspx<FONT size=2><STRONG>I'm a little bit confused....... the mass is going to be in english, but now FH's family is saying that they won't understand??? Maybe you can shed some light....... do the people in FH's family NOT speak any english at all? Unless they are just referring to the Ceremony Music issue.</STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT size=2><STRONG>Here's a pretty simple solution.... have ceremony music without any words! :) Just have instrumental music playing, but don't have a singer at all. I am not going to have any vocal music at my mass.... I strictly just want instrumental music (violins/harp/organ). That way.... the mass will be in English, and the music is neutral for all to enjoy!!</STRONG></FONT> Thu, 13 Apr 2006 12:48:47 GMTicyweddinghttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxHere's what I'd do .. send my FH back with this message: "While we really want you there, we will understand if you choose not to come. The mass and the music will not change regardless if you are there or not!!"Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:43:10 GMTMrsMtobehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxSee the problem my FIL they think that it is not appropriate to have ceremony ( the whole thing ) in english and just keep music in polish (thats the only way they do it at that church). I really don't understand what is the big deal. I even told FH to ask his family to do readings in italian and my family will follow with polish translation. Does that make sense. I really don't think its unfair its only music. I just don't know what to do anymore seriously. I also got an email from his sister saying <P>"<FONT face="Courier New">As for the music at the church. It isn't fair to have most of the music in Polish. In fact, if u want to be like that, then we should get an Italian interpreter in there, and have them translate everything into Italian, and have someone sing some Italian songs too. You can't forget that most of the guests are Italian/English speaking, not Polish. You have to compromise at some point, seeing that the mass is in the Polish church.The bottom line is, if people start catching wind that most of the mass will be in Polish i.e. ceremony and most of music, then people just won't come. Do you think that will be nice??? I understand that it's an important day for you, but you have to remember that it's an important day for you him and our family too. Okay. </FONT>"</P><P>:angry:</P><P>Funny thing is FH does not speak italian at all. What does's she mean by most of the mass will be in Polish. I never knew music was that important.</P><P>I already sacrificed a lot - my family does not speak english but yet the mass will be in english and nobody complains. They got Italian food italian hall and favors everything, why can't i have this one thing.:sick:Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:27:51 GMTBeatahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxtough situation... see if your FH can dig a bit deeper and find the real root of their concern. Is it really the english or something else? I agree with the other B2B who said you could look into doing it in a couple languages. </P><P><FONT color=#1f5080 size=2>Good luck...</FONT>Wed, 12 Apr 2006 21:31:44 GMTScotBridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxI've seen ceremonies done in three languages before so if that appeals to you and your family, perhaps you can have your vows and ceremonies done in English, then Polish, and then Italian. That way, everyone's happy and no one is offended. If there's complaints that it will take too long, etc... then... by all means... you'll have to tell your family to stop the complaining because it's not their wedding. It's yours and your FH's only.<br><br>Easier said than done, I know.<br><br>Eventually, some family will come 'round and understand that compromises and sacrifices have to be made when marriage is at hand. Not everyone can be pleased and therefore if you do what pleases you and FH the most, your family should at least attempt to be happy for the both of you.<br><br>Weddings should be about love and the joining of two persons... not of who has more privileges and rights at the ceremony and reception.Wed, 12 Apr 2006 18:47:28 GMTPansyhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxYou have it booked, noone had a hard time with it so noone should say anything now. Why won't they understand...do they not speak English? Doing it this way gives you common ground. If it were all in Polish or all in Italian I would think there would be a lot more people who didn't understand any of it. Jules.Wed, 12 Apr 2006 18:39:15 GMTjulesmchttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic10987-6-1.aspxHi there, i have a problem and i'm hopin one of you could help me. I just need to get it off my chest. So here it is. I'm polish and my FH is italian, we decided to get married at the polish church but have a mass in english and music in polis because it is a polish church and they are doing en exception for us by having the mas in english. The problem is that untill now it was ok with FH family, I talk to them and everybody agreed that it's fair ( my family doesn't speak english).<P>And what do i find out today? No it's not appropreate and his side of family wont understand and its just plain wrong. The worst part is that nobody says it to my face, they talk to FH and tell him to talk to me. </P><P>When i'm aroun everything is fine, as soon as i leave everybody complains. What should i do? :crying:Tue, 11 Apr 2006 23:30:24 GMTBeata