InstantForum.NET v4.1.4CanadianBride.com Talkboardshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/bounce@canadianbride.comTue, 02 Dec 2008 10:53:03 GMT20http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxThey may do that but at least then you can say to your FH family that you have tried and that you are still uncomfortable if you are and they will feel better because you have made an attempt for them.Sat, 22 Apr 2006 12:25:24 GMTJennAnnhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxFunnybride, that's exactly what I told him. I will hug but I just won't initiate it. What's wrong with that? I don't mind compromise but I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable being a touchy, feely person to anyone who's not my FH.</P><P>Jenn Ann, I think I will have to have a chat. They all know it about me because it's that obvious and I don't think it's such a bad thing. I'm friendly and all that, I just don't hug much. That's funny because I have thought of practising. We have 2 good friends coming over for dinner tonight and they just live up the street so we don't do the huggy thing with them as we see them almost weekly. I'll 'practice' approaching for a hug on them because they won't care. They'll probably wonder what the hell is wrong with me. lol!Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:07:26 GMTwilliewonkahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxHave you tried to explain to them how you feel that might be a good place to start. Otherwise you may have to practice as weird as that may sound.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:34:32 GMTJennAnnhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxMy family kisses whenever they see me or when I leave, and not even I like it. Yeah I know I should be used to it by now but I really am not, although I would definately hug them, no problem, kissing my family is just a bit odd, I prefer to stick to my FH and maybe a cheek if I'm close to them.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 17:16:56 GMTheather972http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxi don't think you need to change. it's who you are. my family does not hug either. fh's mom and sil do (they always go in for the kiss too.) obviously i'm not going to refuse to hug them but i never initiate it and i don't see it as a big deal. i understand some people are like that but i think your fh needs to understand some people aren't.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:36:57 GMTfunnybridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI am the same way.... I hate hugging... other then like you said my FH my Niece and the dog!</P><P>My Bridesmaid likes to hug when we see eachother but I am used to it now and I sorta expect it... but like the other night My aunt was in town and as we were saying good bye I hugged my really distant relatives but not her... at first.. cause it seemed weird... I am not a little kid any more... so hugging her seems weird to me... I mean hugging people that at like 80 is fine cause who knows if you will ever see them again... and I guess you could say that for my aunt aswell... BUT it just felt weird... and then my sister went up and hugged her and made me feel even worse... so I hugged her to... but it was so weird.... such a weird and ackward act! I don't know how to fix it because it is so random... you never know when it will come....Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:00:47 GMTgordcryshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxOne of his best friends loves to put a wet sloppy kiss on women but I always turn my head that the right moment and so far not one has landed.</P><P>I'm not asking just for the wedding, it's really for everytime I see his family &amp; friends. We were over at his dad's place for Easter dinner and when we were leaving his stepmom came up to me with her arms out so I hugged her. No biggie. But his dad just stood there with his hands in his pockets, I think he was waiting for me to 'make the first move' for a hug and I just couldn't do it. I did step forward once but that's as far as I could get. So we didn't hug, hence the spat I had with my FH last night. I figure if someone wants a hug then they can come get one but I never make the move for a hug. Other than my FH, who I LOVE to hug (but that's different), I have no problems hugging my MOH's 6 year old son but that's it. Oh and my cat but he doesn't really hug back. lol! I'm just thankful that his family aren't grabby people, that would drive me crazy!</P><P>I think I'll be OK at the wedding though. I'll be in such a happy mood that I'm sure I won't even think about it.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:50:20 GMTwilliewonkahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI am the same way. I am not the huggy feely type and neither is my family. My fh and his family is. </P><P>When we were at our stag and doe instead of hugging everyone (I did hug some-his family of course) I just held out my hand to shake hands with them. Some went ahead and hugged me anyways - what can you do? Just reach out your hand to shake hands. Kissing is another story - I hate it - I reserve that for fh only! Some may see me as a bit cool but oh well.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:23:03 GMTbrowneyedhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI don't really care about hugging... but when mt FH's family says hi and they hug its not like a hi-how-are-ya 1second hug its like a OH-MY-GOD-IT"S-BEEN-FOREVER!!!! inda hug that lasts like 20-30 seconds and then they kinda push away and grab into your elbows and talk to you like that for like 2 minutes... if I have to hug everyone... it's going to take all night!!!! lol...Thu, 20 Apr 2006 13:32:34 GMTCeriwenhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI love hugs.. absolutely love em! But I haven't hugged my FBIL's ... that would be awkward for us.. lol... try the hand shakes... and air kisses... those should work.. and plus.. do you want people to ruin your makeup the day of the wedding??;)Thu, 20 Apr 2006 12:04:25 GMTdansfiancehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxYes, use every opportunity that you can use so that you do not have to hug. I wouldn't feel happy hugging my future family, because I'm not close with them, I've known my FH's for about 5 years and have only met his aunts/uncles once.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 11:34:04 GMTheather972http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxLooks like I'm going shopping for a dress. lol!</P><P>Thanks for the input! I will try the hands &amp; air kiss idea. That doesn't sound so bad. </P><P>I will definitely need some drinks for the receiving line. Good thing we are having a small wedding. ;)Thu, 20 Apr 2006 10:21:46 GMTwilliewonkahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI'm not a fan of the hugging either, I think the princess dress is a great idea! :DThu, 20 Apr 2006 10:11:15 GMTfaschahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI don't mind hugging people, but FH's family always kisses goodbye...ON THE LIPS!!! I freakin hate it. Sometimes I lie and say I am sick so that they won't kiss me on the lips. Other times I do my best to turn my head just enough so they don't get my lips.</P><P>So, I like the other poster's suggestion about putting your hands out...maybe you can force people into a handshake instead. Good luck, it sucks when you don't want to do what everyone else is doing!! But I can understand it.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 09:48:13 GMTMLDhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxbuy a very puffy princess dress so no one can get within 2 feet of you because of it. ;)</P><P>if that's not an option, maybe you could reach out with both hands as someone approaches you and grab their hands to hold them in front of you and just sort of lean over for an "air kiss" on the cheek. it's not quite as touchy-feely/huggy but it's still a very warm greeting and can look pretty natural with a bit of practise. </P><P>otherwise, maybe a couple of drinks before the receiving line might help relax you?Thu, 20 Apr 2006 09:28:26 GMTtrickyhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19210-6-1.aspxI got in a small spat with my FH last night and this has been an issue with him for a while now. I have a problem with hugging people as a greeting. I get very uncomfortable and it really shows, making me very unapproachable. I know this but I can't seem to change, or don't know how to.</P><P>Does anyone else hate constant hugging as a greeting? My family was never affectionate and we all lived in the same small town and saw each other all the time so we didn't hug whenever we saw one another. I wasn't an affectionate child either, my dad says that from 11 months on I didn't like to be held or cuddled. Weird I know.</P><P>I'm trying to change because I know my FH's family sees it in me but I don't know how. Even when I approach someone with my arms sort of open I hesitate because I feel like an idiot. Don't ask me why, I just do. Any advice on how to become more open to people? These aren't strangers, they are my FH's friends and family. I don't hug my friends, they know what I'm like and just leave me alone. Although sometimes they'll kid around and grab me. lol!Thu, 20 Apr 2006 09:19:22 GMTwilliewonka