InstantForum.NET v4.1.4CanadianBride.com Talkboardshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/bounce@canadianbride.comSat, 30 Aug 2008 11:05:47 GMT20http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxI'd like to add that I was never interested in wedding stuff prior to being engaged, never dreamed about a wedding and the sort and got a little worried when I had to plan my own. Not because I was bitter about relationships or being single and what not - because it wasn't my thing. Never entertained the idea of getting married for my pesonal reasons (that have obviously changed) but there was no malice to it. I was a BM for my sister and sil's wedding and I hadn't a clue what was going on. I was assigned tasks, did them, got excited on the actual wedding day but never really had any input. So perhaps it may be the same for your friends as well and if that's the case then it's not a reflection of how they really feel.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 22:03:54 GMTjenoneillhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxmy g/fs weren't jealous but they certainly had ... concerns. I am the first to be getting married but the LAST to have thought I would even consider such a thing. Everyone else knew FH and I were falling fast for each other and it was no surprise that we're at the stage that we are now BUT, our personalities and those who know us would never figure us to be where we are now. It was a quite the rollercoaster ride for FH and I because we knew we didn't have everyone's understanding but I'm sure we had everyone's support. </P><P>However, it seems like our love is contagious b/c the string of flaky relatiobships and one-hit-wonder dates that my girlfriends were accustomed to have come to an abrupt end and in the past 9 months 3 of my close g/f have pretty much found their soul mates and NOW they understand all those crazy feelings I still have. At least they have someone to share it with and I'm glad I was able to break the mold for them. But no, everyone is happy for me BECAUSE they thought I'd never get here and they don't mind that I was here first.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 21:57:48 GMTjenoneillhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxMy FH and I are both the first to get married out of ALL of our friends... so there is a bit of jealousy.... but i think it is only normal. On the other hand I somtimes think that we will start to not fit in with our friends since we will likely be the first couple to have kids as well own our own home ect ect..... we'll see i guess! ~ Alli xoxoFri, 21 Apr 2006 17:31:32 GMTalligaphttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxLOLFri, 21 Apr 2006 17:15:02 GMTfaschahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspx[quote][b]heather972 (4/21/2006)[/b][hr]I don't think my girls are jealous, but we are all really young (under 21) so they are doing the school thing, bar thing, that kinda stuff. I was never really into it, so I think we have actually became closer, plus I think they realize the only reason I'm doing it is because we started dating in grade 10, so it's about time :) . My MOH is 20 too, and she is loving getting to go and look at wedding stuff, then she can come to me and get the heads up, since she knows how crazy I am getting.[/quote]</P><P>The only reason you are doing it is because you've been together since grade 10??? I hope there is more to it than that.... that's really only 4 years that you've been together.....Fri, 21 Apr 2006 13:55:53 GMTjbucklehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxI don't think my girls are jealous, but we are all really young (under 21) so they are doing the school thing, bar thing, that kinda stuff. I was never really into it, so I think we have actually became closer, plus I think they realize the only reason I'm doing it is because we started dating in grade 10, so it's about time :) . My MOH is 20 too, and she is loving getting to go and look at wedding stuff, then she can come to me and get the heads up, since she knows how crazy I am getting.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:11:27 GMTheather972http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxI also think that friends being worried about things changing often gets confused with jealousy. I know it was weird when all of my friends started getting married. We were all getting married around the same time so it wasn't a jealousy thing... it was just a things changing thing. We were moving on from being footloose university party girls to being single career girls who could go and do whatever we wanted... to being married women. It was a huge change and it took a year or two for us to settle into our new selves and our new relationships with eachother. Because things do change. Then they change even more when you have kids. It's an evolution and things eventually do work out if it's a true friendship. And if it's not a true friendship then you just drift apart and get on with your new lives. It's sad, but sometimes that's just the way it goes.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:04:16 GMTjulieparkeshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxMy close friends have all been awesome with me. If they have any niggling jealousy they don't let it show. I get the jealousy vibes more from other people I'm not so close with and I hate those girls that say to their BFs, "See [i]her[/i] boyfriend proposed, when are you going to propose?" and stuff like that. Talk about putting me in an ackward position. As soon as I got engaged my mom told me to pin one of those little horns under my clothes to ward of [i]malocchio[/i] ("the evil eye") and now I see why. Fri, 21 Apr 2006 10:49:57 GMTAllegrahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxLOL - thanks guys for advice and comments. Fri, 21 Apr 2006 09:11:52 GMTsoniaahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxTotally jealous. And since then they've been bugging their bf's for a ring too.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 09:01:04 GMTgenahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxI have not had there be a lot of jealousy but I noticed that things have changed a bit in the groups dynamic, if that makes any sense.Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:47:12 GMTJennAnnhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspx[quote][b]julieparkes (4/20/2006)[/b][hr]why is it that most brides think their friends are jealous of them? <P>marriage isn't that fantastic. just go on with planning your day. enjoy it. and let that be that. end of story. no one is jealous or dying to be you.[/quote]<P>EXACTLY!!!!Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:14:45 GMTAmieLhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxwhy is it that most brides think their friends are jealous of them? </P><P>marriage isn't that fantastic. just go on with planning your day. enjoy it. and let that be that. end of story. no one is jealous or dying to be you.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 23:50:23 GMTjulieparkeshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxI'm the first one of my friends to get engaged, an none of my friends are jealous. They're all really happy and excited. Maybe your friends don't like your guy. Or if you're drifting apart, maybe they just don't care that much.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 21:51:30 GMTkarliesmhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxYou're very young (for todays wedding "age")- sometimes that creates a lot of questions for people. Statistics still show that if you marry before the age of 25 it has a lower success rate - OR it definately could be jealousy.... maybe....they are in love with your man??? ;) <br><br>I don't know but don't let it rain on your parade.... enjoy all the planning and spend time planning with fh - I'm sure he's as excited as you are! :D<br><br>Thu, 20 Apr 2006 21:27:37 GMTjbucklehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxMy MOH admitted she was jealous but not crazy jealous... just in a "I wanna be married too" kinda thing. The other 2 are cool - one's 16 and the other just isn't ready yet.<BR><BR>It's kinda fun tho cause they get so excited about different things than me and it keeps it interesting!Thu, 20 Apr 2006 20:08:26 GMTScotBridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxIts actually the opposite - I barely talk to them about the wedding because I talk about it way too much when I am with my guy and his family and my family.... so in a social or work setting it never comes up .... because I don't bring it up ...</P><P>These are just vibes I am getting cause they bring stuff up and I feel as though they want me to be answering in a "i hate my wedding" way. When I give them happy answers - they get stone cold.</P><P>I do feel for others that I have not found what I have. I am marrying my best freind literally. We were freinds for a long time b4 we hooked up and decided to get married.</P><P>In getting married we are celebrating out love and commitment to one another so there is a bit of thunder for me .... How many weddings have u gone to where no1 is wondering what the bride is wearing.</P><P>All in all I just feel as those girls I have grown up with (highschool and beyond) just don't give a damn.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 19:53:48 GMTsoniaahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxThey may be jealous, or they may simply not be interested. </P><P>You talk about wanting to be the center of attention and that can get old really quick for a lot of people. When a girlfriend of mine first got engaged I was thrilled for her. After about a month of hearing about nothing but her wedding it was getting old. After several months all I wanted her to do was shut about her damn wedding. I cared about her, and I was still happy that she was so happy. But she was really boring to be around because all she could talk and think about was herself. She came off as entirely self centered.</P><P>When you get engaged and start planning a wedding it's a <STRONG>huge</STRONG> deal to you. But for your friends and the people who love you - this isn't the highlight of their lives. Even the people closest to you probably don't care all that much about your wedding plans. And people who insist on being the constant center of attention are in for some resentment coming their way. Your friends have lives, too, and are doing things that are important to them, just like your wedding is important to you. </P><P>Besides, weddings aren't about "thunder" or about getting everyone's attention and being in the spot light. If I were you I would try to realize that even though people care - you are not the center of the world just because you are getting married. I don't mean to be harsh, but I think if you relax and stop focusing on being the center of attention then people will be happy to talk about your wedding - <EM>sometimes</EM>. I have a rule that I only talk about my wedding when directly asked about it. Then I know people are interested and want to hear about it. Thu, 20 Apr 2006 17:34:20 GMTEmberhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxLuckily I don't really have anyone jealous of me getting married cause all my friends are engaged pretty much or already married... the only one that's left is my brother's GF and she is more than supportive of everything wedding related that warrants excitement! :DThu, 20 Apr 2006 17:27:15 GMTfaschahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxsometimes i get the feeling one of my bm's is jealous. i could totally be misreading it though. if your friends aren't married just wait until they get married -they'll get it from other friends. one of my bm's got married five years ago and i was in her wedding party. now that it's my turn i kind of realize i could have been a little more supportive in some ways. i think my bm who acts a bit jealous sometime will feel the same way when her time comes!Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:42:04 GMTfunnybridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspx<FONT color=#3333dd size=2>I don't notice too much jealousy from my girlfriends... but I can say that I've noticed a certain kind of "resentment" or jealousy coming from the girls that I know/co-workers who are OLDER than me and still not engaged/married. </FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2>I am only 23 and was lucky enough to find my "other half" early in life --- so we will be married just after I turn 24. Whenever I talk about my wedding plans or relationship with the older women around me (for example, some ladies in the office who are in their early 30's and who have been single for a while) ---- they almost seem irritated with the fact that I am talking about it. They don't seem interested at all, and to be honest, I think that they are a little bit jealous. I think if I were the same age as them, I wouldn't get the same cold response. Does this make sense..... does anyone else out there know what I am talking about?? lol</FONT>Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:00:25 GMTicyweddinghttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspx<FONT size=2>I never noticed any jealously directed towards me, but, I did notice that some of my friends really started to put heat on their men as to how come they can't hurry it up and get married. He he. :w00t:</FONT>Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:54:54 GMTBeeBearhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxMy friends are sometimes more excited than I am!! But they are completely happy for Dan and I.. I think mostly because I finally found someone that I'm staying with... hehe. If you're the first one to get married out of your friends, this is possibly why they are being this way. Just be thankful that you're doing this now and have found the one that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. It's their loss.. not yours.. tough on them..Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:51:49 GMTdansfiancehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxWe have been drifting apart for a little while now and now that its my time to shine I feel as they don't want to share in it .... </P><P>I finished school, got a job, grew up and found a great guy - all in such a great order that I sometimes think they resent it = almost like WTFThu, 20 Apr 2006 15:48:24 GMTsoniaahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspxAre you the first one out of your girl friends to get married? Maybe they think that things are going to change after the wedding and you won't be that close to them. Or maybe they are just jealous. There is not too much you can really do about what others thing about your situation.Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:44:38 GMTchrisdannhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic19719-6-1.aspx<FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>I think might be.....</STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>Don't get me wrong I am not all high and mighty on myself for being engaged but I feel as though I am getting hesitation from them. Most of all I am getting bad vibes all the time .... </STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>They say things like "everyone does it", they don't sounds happy when the topic comes up and further aren't being helpful. BEcause of this behavios I am only have my sisters in the wedding party and my 2 baby neices.</STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>I just think that they are trying to steal my thunder and don't want me to be the centre of attention sometimes.</STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>Am I wrong and being totally self cenrted...</STRONG></FONT></P><P><FONT color=#3333dd size=2><STRONG>HELP</STRONG></FONT>Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:41:08 GMTsoniaa