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RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

roxxie25 — Sun, 30 Apr 2006 17:22:52 GMT

My FH and I both lost our mom's a few years ago...our solution for remembering them will be a locket with their pics in it, hanging from my bouquet.

I don't think that I want my mom mentioned at the ceremony, b/c it will just be upsetting to me and my sister's and I want our wedding to be a happy time! It'll be enought that we are thinking of them on our day and I'm sure everyone else will be too.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

limabean — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 11:58:49 GMT

FH's father died of a sudden heart attack when FH was quite young, so he wanted to honour him in some way without drawing a lot of attention. His solution was to give a donation to the Heart and Stroke foundation as a part of our favours; anyone who knows about FH's father will probably figure out the significance on their own, and anyone who doesn't know will just think we're making a donation to a worthy cause. The symbolism is there for FH and for those who can recognize it, but we're not drawing special attention to the fact that his dad's no longer with us.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

tobride — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 11:46:53 GMT

We're in a similar situation. By the time of our wedding my mom will have been dead for 10 months and his grandmother 11 months. In the three years leading up to it we've both lost several other relatives too. So we're having two candles, one on either side of the aisle. And just after my dad gives me away, before we take those last few steps to the minister, we will turn and light our respective candles in memories of the loved ones on both sides of the family. We're not saying anything. In our programs it will mention the meaning and on the guest table as they come in the reception there will be those two candles and a small note with a cute poem/saying on it.

That was our solution. Nothing too mournful, but something to show we miss them and are thinking of them.

Taren

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

dansfiance — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 10:16:13 GMT

My FH's dad passed away 2.5 years ago - I'm not sure he wants to do anything in regards to remembering him on the day.. that may sound mean.. not too sure how it will come across. I've left it up to him to decide what he wants to do with it. I'm not making any decision in regards to it.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

Sarah13 — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 09:45:12 GMT

My brother passed away when I was eight. Although it was a long time ago, I still want to remember him quietly. The back page of the program will have an excerpt of the Little Prince (which my Mom read to us when we were children) with "For JPG" under it.

I am also having a photo charm made which I will tie to my bouquet. http://www.planetjill.com/ (they ship to Canada)

I do like the ideas of having "In Loving Memory" in the program and an empty chair or memory candle...but it was a long time ago a lot of people don't know that I had a brother so I will do it this way.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

wonderwoma — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 08:10:01 GMT

My mom passed away 8 years ago and FH's dad just passed away in October. We're having a photo of each of them as you come into the church and then moving the photos to the reception site (we're thinking of having the pictures displayed by the guest book, along with other family photos). My mother was a big supporter of my church so when she died, the church got a portion of the estate. The church bought a frontal cloth (the cloth that goes on the altar) and we'll be using that as well.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

beaner976 — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 00:32:36 GMT

I'm in the same boat. My FH's father died 3 yrs ago and the closer the wedding gets the harder it is on him. On our invites we put "son of the late.. " and in our programs where we thanked our parents we put "we lovingly remember..." To try and give hy FH something special I bought a pocketwatch and put his fathers picture on the inside, that way in some small way he has his father with him

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

MrsMtobe — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 21:45:56 GMT

Have a special boutonnier made for him and as you walk up the aisle, place the boutonnier on what would be .. his chair in the church and then, perhaps it can be placed on a special table with a memory candle.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

Snowybride — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 21:43:30 GMT

[quote][b]Juicy (4/26/2006)[/b][hr]Anyone in the same boat? My FH's dad passed away and I wanted to do something special during the ceremony to include him. One idea I had was to light a candle and have the Minister say a little something nice in remembrance of him...any other ideas?[/quote]

FH's father died when he was almost 6, although it's been a long time he is still VERY important to FH. So we're going to be including it into our candle lighting ceremony. We will have the candle lit before the guests arrive (To avoid any questions about who should light it) and remain lit throughout the ceremony. Then when we get to the candle lighting ceremony, both my mom and FMIL will take their tapers and FMIL will light hers from DFFIL(Deceased Future Father In law) and my mother from a candle I will have my father holding. They will then light two tapers that will be at the altar, where FH & I will then take those two tapers and light the large one in the middle. i realize it's really conveluded, but I felt it would really be symbolic of both families joining into one (And really piss off my FMIL - Which in and of itself is a GREAT side effect!!! :D)

I REALL REALLY REALLY like the white rose on a seat though. It's very classy!

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

Telika — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 18:54:56 GMT

I would either do the lighting of the candle and make mention or save a spot for him and lie a white rose across the seat saved. Then the minister could mention it or not ...

I think it's classy and it won't get anyone hysterical with tears either...probably not anyway.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

flyboysgrl — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 17:57:27 GMT

There is few of us here using these...

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

terri33 — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 16:36:59 GMT

My dad died four years ago, FH's dad died when he was six and his step dad died when he was 18. We have decided against doing anything. My sister had a candle lit at the beginning of her reception and everyone bawled. My mother and I have recently had a huge blowout over this topic. She asked if my older sister (who I can't stand) would light the candle for my dad at the reception. I said that most definately not my drunken and embarrassing sister was not going to get up infront of 125 people to bawl her eyes out at my wedding and that further more, no candle would be lit because it will have been 5 years by then and there has been alot of pain in both are families and it is not neccessary to bring it up every time we get together. My mother is not talking to me right now and told my sister I was being a bridezilla.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

heather972 — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 15:37:12 GMT

My grandpa died last january, we were really close, so FH suggested honouring him in the wedding. We are going to have a spot for him in the front row, beside my grandma because I know he will be there. Other then that I would put it in your program, that you know he is blessing you from heaven.
what about hmmm...... using something that was special to your FH's father. We are making a log name tag for our head table saying "Mr. and Mrs. Pouliot" in a way that my grandpa taught me to burn wood with a fire poker, it was something we all enjoyed doing. Do something that your FH and his family will understand was meant to show respect to his father.

RE: His dad passed away 2 years ago

mombride — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 15:31:19 GMT

we're in the same boat

i'm making our own programs for the wedding and on the back i have a section for any special thank you's (like one to my parents for proving all the flowers for the tables out of their own garden and one for our two dd's just for being here) and am also having a brief note of regret that fh's dad cannot be with us. i also mentioned him in the grooms parents as watching from above (might have to change that wording)

i thought about setting an honorary spot for him with a picture of him (fh really liked that idea) but was worried it might seem too morbid for some of the guests.

i also thought about a little table out of the way with a picture and flowers, just a little way of having him there.

and maybe a brief mention - but the wording is hard. everything sounds too much like standard religion, about god and heaven etc. i think if we are going to honor him its just as important to make sure it is in keeping with his own beliefs and his own religion. if he was like ourselves and not religous at all then i'd make sure there's no mention of bible scriptures or his belief in god. but we know so little of the religion he did embrace that we don't know what would be suitable but we are pretty sure it involved not believing in heaven or in a christian god.

His dad passed away 2 years ago

Juicy — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 14:59:04 GMT

Anyone in the same boat? My FH's dad passed away and I wanted to do something special during the ceremony to include him. One idea I had was to light a candle and have the Minister say a little something nice in remembrance of him...any other ideas?