InstantForum.NET v4.1.4CanadianBride.com Talkboardshttp://forums.canadianbride.com/bounce@canadianbride.comSat, 11 Oct 2008 12:16:17 GMT20http://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic25555-6-1.aspxSee the reason I'm so worried about this is because last September FH's BM got married and he didn't have a supper and only invited those he wanted to to the dance/ceremony. It was pretty much the same group we want to invite. There was a lot of talk, but everyone said they understood because the couple couldn't afford it. I know in their eyes, they couldn't afford it, but we "can" (read, we could if we wanted to). But the fact is, would we rather spend another 300+ on having 8 or so people to dinner that we don't want, or pay for flowers?</P><P>That being said, a lot of the ball team showed up to FH's BM's stag. So I even thought, if you invited them to the stag, why not the wedding?!</P><P>But anyway, I digress....I think FH is just going to say do what we want, and I guess I can always blame it on him. :PThu, 27 Apr 2006 15:35:29 GMTtobridehttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic25555-6-1.aspxI'm in the same boat but with my beach volleyball 4s team. Only one is a close friend who I will invite to the wedding, he's been my friend for 15 years. The other two guys I only see in the summer pretty much and although I like them both I'm just not that close to them. Plus we need to keep the numbers way down, we only have so much room at the venue. I doubt they will care much, I hope not anyway.Thu, 27 Apr 2006 14:56:30 GMTwilliewonkahttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic25555-6-1.aspxHey Taren!<br><br>FH and I were about to have the exact same problem this summer but just yesterday we cut ourselves from the ball team except for tourneys and the odd fill-in game. Just too much goin' on this summer to make that big committment!<br><br>My suggestion would be like this:<br><br>Invite those who are MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR FH to the entire evening. Those include the friends you have throughout the year, not just at ball season. For those, just invite to the dance. I know it seems harsh but think of it this way when and if you're ever asked to explain yourselves:<br><br>"Brad and I keep in touch with these people throughout the year, henceforth, they have become our good friends. Although you are a friend to us as well, we only have a limited amount of space and budget available for so many guests. We'd love to have you attend our day, however, so please accept our invitation to our dance after the dinner. We would feel honoured if you would attend."<br><br>If they're still hurt by it, then shame on them, really. You don't know them as well as the others and to "expect" invites from people is rude and selfish. If it divides you and your teammates, then unfortunately the teammates are the ones with the problem, not you guys.<br><br>As for the people that you feel obligated to invite - just invite 'em to the dance. If they show, it's unlikely you'll spend much time with them (if at all if you really don't want to), and it will ease any tensions you'll have with these people come next ball season.<br><br>Hope it helps!Thu, 27 Apr 2006 13:28:44 GMTPansyhttp://forums.canadianbride.com/Topic25555-6-1.aspxThis is the ball team where FH and I met. This is the ball team that half of our friends play on. And two couples on the team are part of our wedding party and are obviously coming to the dinner. But from there on I'm torn. Our ball team seems to be split half and half. There's the ones that hang out all year long, and then the ones that only get together at ball season. The ones we hang out with all year long I want to invite to the dinner. The ones we don't, I only want to invite to the ceremony and dance. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But we have a budget and we're simply not close enough to them that I feel I should have to invite them to dinner. THing is, invites will be going out in the middle of ball season, so I'm worried about people talking and finding out some are invited to supper, while others aren't. Or, one couple not invited to dinner asking a couple who is to go for dinner while they're waiting for the dance, only to find out the other couple is going to our dinner. I feel really bad. Do you think I'm being awful? Then there are people I REALLY don't want at my wedding at all off the team because FH and I don't really like them at all....but I feel obligated to invite them to the ceremony/dance because damn near everyone else on teh team is invited! HELPThu, 27 Apr 2006 11:58:13 GMTtobride