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RE: MOH is MIA!!

Lizaloo — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 20:10:27 GMT

I am sooo sorry to hear about this! I can relate -- my best friend in elementary and high school suddenly stopped talking to me, completely out of the blue, and was treating me as if I had done something wrong (when I absolutely HAD NOT). I found out 3 years later that it was because her father had had an affair, and she discovered it. I'm sorry, but when you are BEST FRIENDS you'd think at some point BEFORE 3 years, you could mention this fact. She ruined a wonderful friendship, when she could have said, "there is something which has happened to me that I don't wish to discuss, but I just wanted to let you know that it has nothing to do with you."

If there is something terrible going on in her life, she could at least have the curtesy of telling you that she is unable to talk abou it at the moment, and that you did nothing wrong. That way, at least, you would know that she still wanted to be your MOH!! If there isn't anything wrong, then I think I speak for everyone when I say, "WTF???"!!!

I sincerely hope that she comes around, and that it was all some silly misunderstanding. :) All the best! Hugs!!!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 09:51:10 GMT

Thanks EL, I basicly spit that out on her machine last Sunday!!

Except that it was 4 weeks and this sunday it will be over 5 weeks!!

My message will simply state that I can't believe she is doing this to me on the most important day of my life and just because she doesn't have the guts to pick up a phone and leave me a message doesn't mean I should suffer!! If she doesn't call me by the following Sunday (not easter the next Sunday) I am not even sending her an invite (why waste my time!!)!!

I am so pissed now!! I even talked to her mom and she said she was fine and doesn't know whats up!!! WTF????? :crazy:

I was upset at first but you know what.....I have a wedding 1 way or another so that is where my energy is going now, NOT on trying to get a hold of her!!! She can bite me!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!:angry:

Thanks for all of your support!! :D I'll let you know how it works out!!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

everlovin — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 06:48:20 GMT

email......

Dear MOH,

For over a week now, I have

tried to get in touch with you. Since we

have been friends for over ten years, I

am puzzled by your recent actions and

have been seeking some sort of

explanation as to why you are behaving

in this peculiar manner.

Since it seems very apparent that you do

not wish to discuss anything with me, I

have been forced to conclude that you no

longer wish to be my MOH. I am very

saddened by this turn of events but since

time is of the essence, I must continue

with my wedding planning with

someone who truly wishes to be my MOH.

If I am wrong about any of this, all you

have to do is pick up the phone and call

me. I still look upon you as my friend and

dearly hope that we can continue on with

that friendship once you deal with

whatever it is that is currently troubling

you. However, I do need your response

within the next 48 hours or I will be left

with no other choice but to select a

different MOH for my wedding.

I am sure that you will understand why I

am doing what I am doing. No matter

what, I would like to hear from you

whenever you feel comfortable in calling

me.

Your friend,

The above is what I would do. Put the decision into her hands and let her live with it.

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsMtobe — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:15:22 GMT

[quote][b]MrsZator (4/12/2006)[/b][hr]I have now decided she is out!

I have to get my BM dresses done this week so too bad for her!

My mom still wants to call her (try to save our friendship) but I don't see the point. She obviously doesn't care:crazy:

I can't just sit here in Limbo!!

I am now not even going to invite her!!! Maybe if she calls before the invites go out (next week) and has a REALLY good excuse, which I doubt:unsure:

I will let you know if I here anything!!

Sincerely;

Going Nuts!!!:crying:[/quote]

Smart Move!!! Let us know if anything more happens with her or what excuse she conjures up for you!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 19:49:31 GMT

I have now decided she is out!

I have to get my BM dresses done this week so too bad for her!

My mom still wants to call her (try to save our friendship) but I don't see the point. She obviously doesn't care:crazy:

I can't just sit here in Limbo!!

I am now not even going to invite her!!! Maybe if she calls before the invites go out (next week) and has a REALLY good excuse, which I doubt:unsure:

I will let you know if I here anything!!

Sincerely;

Going Nuts!!!:crying:

RE: MOH is MIA!!

CComeau — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:01:24 GMT

Good Luck with the MOH :)

Cheers!

Cass

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 15:40:08 GMT

No, still waiting.

If she doesnt call by this Sunday I am telling her she's out :(

I hope she calls....

RE: MOH is MIA!!

dansfiance — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 14:46:55 GMT

have you heard anything yet???????

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsMtobe — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:44:32 GMT

[quote][b]MrsZator (4/8/2006)[/b][hr]Hi again.

Well I know one way or another I am not going to ruin a 10 yr friendship over this. She is still my best friend no matter what! I will be really upset if she doesnt want this but she obviously has her reasons and I am not going to hate her because of it. I told her I would never pick anyone else to be my MOH but if she doesnt feel comfortable then I guess i am gonna have to. Hopefuly she'll come to her senses and give me a call because it still isnt very nice to keep me in the dark like this! I need to go on with my planning and i cant being in limbo like this!

Thanks for all your support and I'll keep you upto date! I will be calling to leave her "the message" tomorrow night!

Thanks again:D[/quote]

because it still isnt very nice to keep me in the dark like this! I need to go on with my planning and i cant being in limbo like this! BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keep us posted!!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 12:58:45 GMT

Hi again.

Thanks for all your support and I'll keep you upto date! I will be calling to leave her "the message" tomorrow night!

Thanks again:D

RE: MOH is MIA!!

Ceriwen — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 00:22:41 GMT

OMG! WOW... I dont know what I would do. That really sucks. Maybe its PMS... hahahaha all of us women can blame our problems on that right? I would give it a few days and then try and call again...

Keep us posted

RE: MOH is MIA!!

jjf — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 00:08:36 GMT

MrsZ - I can relate a little differently as I had two "friendships" end without explaination and it leaves you feeling like you did something wrong. Know that this is probably not about you. I do not think her actions are fair and the least she could do is give you an explaination, maybe writing her a letter and expressing how you feel would be something to consider. Due to distance, stopping in and being in her face may not suit either of your right now. Then I guess you have to decide if you friendship is worth all of this stress. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope by Sunday, she calls and either way, things are resolved. Keep us posted and try to enjoy your weekend.

Smiles,

JJF :w00t:

RE: MOH is MIA!!

redrasbery — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 14:19:16 GMT

I am really really worry to hear this. My maid of honour was not very great for me leading up to my wedding, so I know how it feels. Honestly, I would maybe have just bridesmaids, don't give her the title of MOH anymore, because that's what hurts the most.... that your bridesmaids are closer than your MOH. If she's just a BM, you may feel better.

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 14:13:48 GMT

I have decided that I am going to wait until Sunday and if she doesnt call me by then I am going to call her.

I will say flat out (most likely on the machine) that "if you still want to be the MOH or even in the party you need to let me know by ----- and if I dont hear form you I will have to find someone else!":crazy:

As caring and upset as I can sound because 1) i want her to be and 2)i dont want to ruin a 10 year friendship:D

Thanks for all your help!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

ScotBride — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:11:20 GMT

Awwww *hugs* girl!

Hopefully she's just PMSing and/or stressed about something and will return to the loving, caring MOH and friend she once was.

I agree with the ladies ~ give her a couple days and then try and find out what happened or whats going in.

Best of luck!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsMtobe — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 02:24:35 GMT

[quote][b]MrsZator (4/6/2006)[/b][hr][quote][b]MrsMtobe (4/6/2006)[/b][hr]Perhaps she is just busy and overwhelmed with her new job? Doesnt excuse her lack of communication though ... She works at Rogers video, part time, how busy can she be?? her lat job was worse and she always had time to talk. Even if she was too busy, for almost 4 weeks???:unsure: I dont think thats right at all!

Also, could you please read the Terms and Conditions, particularly the part about the ticker? They aren't allowed and admin will remove it without notice. Just wanted to let you know in case you didnt read the T & C about tickers :D[/quote]

Thanks for the heads up!! :D[/quote]

Well all you can do is wait for her to contact you or go see her in person, I guess. Something is obviously going on with her .. maybe not with you and her, but with her personally... at this point .. it's anyone's guess....

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 19:46:35 GMT

[quote][b]MrsMtobe (4/6/2006)[/b][hr]Perhaps she is just busy and overwhelmed with her new job? Doesnt excuse her lack of communication though ... She works at Rogers video, part time, how busy can she be?? her lat job was worse and she always had time to talk. Even if she was too busy, for almost 4 weeks???:unsure: I dont think thats right at all!

Thanks for the heads up!! :D

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsMtobe — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 15:41:29 GMT

Perhaps she is just busy and overwhelmed with her new job? Doesnt excuse her lack of communication though ...

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 13:35:38 GMT

[quote][b]tricky (4/6/2006)[/b][hr]very strange if you ask me... i can't imagine why someone would suddenly go so weird like that.

does she have call display and are you always calling her from a phone number she'd recognize as yours? maybe you could try calling her from a different phone number to see if she's screening her calls. (i guess i'm sneaky because that's what i'd try) if you could catch her on the phone then at least you'd have a chance to ask her what the problem is.[/quote]

Very Tricky!!...lol! ;)

She does have call display and she knows both my work and home number but she doesnt answer numbers she doesnt know, so i am screwed!!

I just spoke with a mutual friend of ours (that works by me) and she says that she hasnt mentioned being mad or ignoing me. She also said that her boyfriend (who is my MOH' boyfriend best friend) said that they didnt mention anything to him either.

I am so confused!!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

tricky — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 13:24:48 GMT

very strange if you ask me... i can't imagine why someone would suddenly go so weird like that.

RE: MOH is MIA!!

desbride07 — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:43:27 GMT

what i would do is this: wait a couple of days, cool down. if she still hasn't communicated with you, then you are going to have to make the decision whether or not to keep her. Then call her... if she is still not answering leave a message that states that if you do not hear from her in 2 days you are going to find someone else that is more responsible and that calls you back. That should push her to call you if not then you prolly do not want her as you MOH!!!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

dansfiance — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:37:33 GMT

aww.. hun.. hugs

RE: MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:17:49 GMT

Thanks for your advice :o)

I know her well being is fine because a friend of hers works right by me and has spoke to her.

She cant be stressed about being the MOH because I have yet to ask her to do anything! I planned everthing myself! The only thing she has to do is be there for the dress fitting and be there for me when I need her.

I cant pop in for tea because she isnt always there and it is a bit of a travel for me. If I were to go and her not be there, I would have travelled all that way for nothing.

I have waited more then a few days and then called and left her a message that has nothing to do with the wedding.

I am so confused!?! :crying:

RE: MOH is MIA!!

Claudia80 — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:14:52 GMT

I don't know about this...first everything is fine and now all of a sudden she goes wacky?!! My first reaction is WTF?!!! I agree, drop by her house and just ask her plain out what her problem is? If she's this stressed mabey her being MOH isn't the best idea. I know being in a bridal party is a big deal, and takes alot of time and effort but she needs to be there for you when you need her. Friend for 10 years, that's quite a long time, if you're really that close then having a little talk with her shouldn't be an issue.

RE: MOH is MIA!!

Liss14 — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:07:44 GMT

My first reaction would to be worried. Very worried! But maybe I watch too much CSI. Ooouuuu..... Warrick..... *drool*!!!

UUmmm... other than being worried for your close friends personal safety and happiness, I would do as another poster said and wait a day or two, then drop by for tea or something. Bring over a few beers and some pringles. Drop in on her at her new job and bring her a small bouquet of flowers as a congrats.

Sometimes it becomes overwhelming to be a MOH, constantly surrounded by the dreams and demands of a bride. Every once in a while it's nice to be acknowledged that you've got new and exciting things going on in your life too (ex: new job).

Good luck and let us know what happens!

RE: MOH is MIA!!

dansfiance — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 11:48:41 GMT

Hmm.. my first gut reaction is b*tch!! the second is drop her! the third is the more rational one of course.. I would give it a couple days, of not calling her, and then try again, or even go over to her house and see if you can find out why she's being this way.

It sucks that you have to go through this right now *hugs*

MOH is MIA!!

MrsZator — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 11:46:02 GMT

I am freaking out!!

K, it starts like this, 4 weeks ago I ask my MOH to come to dinner the following Friday (which I am treating) so that my BM can meet her and my mom. She says yeah, as long as her hours permit it (she just started a new job and didn’t know her hours yet) so I said that was fine just let me know so I can reschedule if need be.

That was about Thursday, I call her on the Monday, Thursday and Friday and leave messages each time. Very nice messages! She doesn’t call she doesn’t come!!!:angry:

I call the next day and leave her another message saying “what happened to you” in a nice friendly manner.

I have now been calling her every 2 or 3 days leaving her occasional messages about other stuff like “check out my wedding website I made, let me know what you think” or “I just wanted to say Hi” and still no call no messages no nothing!!!

I called her this morning and the machine picked up and just when I was about to leave a message she picked up the phone and hung up in my ear!!! I am so mad I am about to cry!!

Nothing happened though, I don’t understand. I have known her for 10 years, our children grew up together. She was always cool about the wedding and very excited to be my MOH, she even brought her child to my daughter’s b-day party a couple weeks before this happened and everything was fine then and when we spoke after.

I just don’t understand???

I want to cry and I am at work!!

Sorry for this being to long but I needed to vent!!