CanadianBride.com Talkboards / CanadianBride.com Talkboard / Conflicts & Etiquette / And Guest / Latest Posts

RE: And Guest

chulie — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:37:37 GMT

We are doing the same as everyone else it seems...i refuse to put and guest on anyones invite...this is my wedding....not an opportunity to bring a random guy or girl...if you arent comfortable enough to show up somwhere alone...either grow a spine and be comfortable with who you are.. or dont come!!!!...geez....if i know they have a date....and i know their name....then i'll put a name.....fh and i are in agreement on that....i find it ironic that...the people who would understand this most...not putting "and guest" are the people who have already been through a wedding and understand how hard it is to pay 100 bucks for a person i dont know and dont need the "and guest" cause they have a husband or wife.....and yet people who havent been married...who dont get the "and guest" get annoyed by this...i feel like saying..do me a favor....go get married and then come back and talk to me!!!!hahahaaha

RE: And Guest

CelticGhal — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:30:56 GMT

Thanks everyone.
I still don't want to give my aunt a "+1" but you never know.

RE: And Guest

Sodayah — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:23:02 GMT

I have had some great ones for our wedding. FH's cousin was the only name on the invite and he put down both him and his girlfriend of 3 years were coming. One couple the husband was working so she decided she's bringing her daughter instead.

Our BM is a little put out that his GF wasn't invited but she doesn't want to commit to him and in my mind that's not serious.

RE: And Guest

NFlady — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:56:28 GMT

We put "and guest" on our invites. Personally I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone. You don't get to spend much time with the bride and groom on their day so we didn't think it was fair to ask that person to be alone for the full day. Although we didn't really know the guests, we did it so that "our" guests could have a good time and not be by themselves that day.

RE: And Guest

Samcat — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:07:08 GMT

We are not putting "and guest" on the invite. Those that are in serious relationships, we named both partners on the invite. Those that aren't are getting an invite in their name only. However, we have left enoguh room on the guestlist that if one of our single people calls or write and ASKS to bring a guest, we will be able to say yes. That way we are not encouraging it, but we are also not really turning down the request either.

I don't think there is anything wrong in not putting "and guest" to a single person. Especially if they have other friends or family coming that they will know and be able to hang out with all night.

RE: And Guest

canoe-girl — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:59:21 GMT

CelticGhal (7/8/2008)

it is a family member that I don't want to give a +1 to. I really dislike my aunts friend (they live together) and I don't want her at my wedding

There is the potential that this could become really nasty, especially if they are partners. You have to be prepared to defend this decision, especially if your other guests are able to bring "a guest". Like someone else said, set rules that are equally applied to everyone on your list.

RE: And Guest

missdish — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:36:30 GMT

For us it was that they had to be in a serious relationship - our wedding wasn't the place for a date.

We had one person tell MIL that she wasn't impressed that hers didn't say guest, but she is single and I don't care

RE: And Guest

sbru — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:07:03 GMT

We have over 100 guests.. and we didn't put 'and guest' on any invites... at all.

BUT.. my family and FH's family are VERY close.. so we know all the realtionships and... the 120-ish people invited are basically immediate.. we only invited people who are VERY close to us.. and we're hoping for a lot of people to not send back RSVP's! lol!!

RE: And Guest

sarahandrob2010 — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:23:06 GMT

[quote][b]CelticGhal (7/8/2008)[/b][hr]it is a family member that I don't want to give a +1 to. I really dislike my aunts friend (they live together) and I don't want her at my wedding[/quote]

Is this like a partner or just a roommate?

Because if it's just a roommate and she's not in a relationship with anyone, then I think it's safe to not put "and guest"... although I guess "more" ok if you're doing that for everyone not in a relationship.

Your aunt will know lots of other people at the wedding, too, so it's not like she'll be all alone.

On the other hand, it's sometimes easier to just invite them and ignore them the whole time. Less drama, tension, and hurt feelings.

Of course, totally your decision and you should do what feels right to you :)

RE: And Guest

dmotkoski — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:37:29 GMT

I didn't put "and guest" on anyone's. If they had a SO, I got the person's name and addressed the invitation to them both. If not, I was really trying to limit the guest list and no one was bringing some random date.

RE: And Guest

CelticGhal — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:03:24 GMT

it is a family member that I don't want to give a +1 to. I really dislike my aunts friend (they live together) and I don't want her at my wedding

RE: And Guest

saraht76 — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:02:56 GMT

My FH wants everyone to have a guest..."it's a wedding, there's lots of love in the air". Our guest list is tight as is and I don't want to have other people not come so his buddy can bring some random girl with him. So I am with the no guest side...unless it's a relationship already.

RE: And Guest

Soon2bMrsP — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:16:58 GMT

We did put "and Guest" and now we are over our 100 guests :-(

Although, for the extra 10-15 people, all of our guests are happy and that is most important.

I dont think I would want to attend a wedding by myself unless I was immediate family and knew a lot of the guests there... is it really fair to ask a casual friend to show up by themselves?

I dont know, to each his own, but that is the way we did it and we are happy (although over our preferred number of guests).

If your day, do it the way you want! ;)

RE: And Guest

July7Bride — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:46:40 GMT

DH and I didn't agree on this at all. He wanted everyone to have "and guest". I said no way for guests under 18 and won that one. But he did give out a "and guest" to several of our single friends. For my single friends I didn't and they didn't mind. I'm glad that's over with b/c we spent so much time going back and forth on that one.

RE: And Guest

igottajlo — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 10:01:35 GMT

Our rule for guests was it had to be a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance, etc. So my single cousin, for example, didn't get an "and guest".

RE: And Guest

Zim — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 09:05:52 GMT

I didn't put "and guest" for anyone, either.

If I knew that a guest had a serious boyfriend, then I asked that guest for her/his address and sent an invitation separately.

If you did the same thing, you could defend it by saying "Your boyfriend/girlfriend is so recent, I didn't know his/her address"! ;)

RE: And Guest

silvarazz — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 08:59:10 GMT

I dunno if it's rude, but I didn't put AND GUEST for anyone. If they didn't have a significant other at the time the invites went out, then I wasn't willing to sacrifice a spot that I could use for a friend for some random bf/gf that I've never met.

Maybe it is rude...but...I just don't have it in me to pay lots of money to have people I don't know at my wedding. We haven't had any problems with it so far.

JMO!

RE: And Guest

KatherineR — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 08:58:32 GMT

My advice is to 'make a rule'. Be prepared to defend it.

We allowed a guest for: couples together for more than a year (friends & extended family - i.e. cousins), and for individuals over 18. Anyone from out of town that did not have an SO had an 'and guest', too. Lots just came on their own when they knew friends from the same group were coming.

No guests for the younger cousins (my 15 year old cousin tried to tell me the world was ending b/c she couldn't bring a date to my wedding. Sure, sunshine).

I've been to weddings where the only 'and guest' went to engaged and married couples (couples dating for 3+ years included - the SO wasn't invited). So, it can be done to limit numbers if need be.

Best of luck!

And Guest

CelticGhal — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 08:41:17 GMT

We are trying to stay at 100 people and because of this we are really not getting to invite some of our friend. Here is my question, it is rude not to put "and guest" for some people? I am not saying for everyone but for the people that I know will end up bring someone I dislike to my wedding, rather then me being able to invite a friend of mine who I would love to have at my wedding???

thanks