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RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

novalt — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:09:56 GMT

[quote][b]SofaQueen (7/29/2008)[/b][hr]I found this article on MSN today about Pre-nups, and I thought it may be useful to some of the gals on CB:

http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/Prenups++What+They+Are+and+How+They+Work/Relationships/NEWContentPosting_TheSoko?isfa=1&newsitemid=thesoko-776&feedname=THESOKO_V2&show=False&number=5&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc&date=False[/quote]

wow, one of out 3 marriages eh.. no matter how many times you here it, it still seems so unbelieveable! Statistically, that's at least 6 of us from this post alone..:blink:

NOT IT! hahaha

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

MrsSofaQueen — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:08:48 GMT

I found this article on MSN today about Pre-nups, and I thought it may be useful to some of the gals on CB:

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

novalt — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:18:33 GMT

I don't want one, but I did agree to sign one if necessary. The only reason it came up is b/c FH's name was on his parents home or something like that, and they were concerned about their asset - I told FMIL (who is the best FMIL) that if they needed me to sign one, I would. Other than that, FH and I don't feel the need to have one.

In the end, they contacted their lawyer and turns out it was fine and we don't have one. I do still think prenups are good in some cases - I do have a friend who is pretty wealthy and her family has a business, and she was required to get one to protect the company 'just in case'.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

Nicotina — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:45:49 GMT

Ladies - I am a law clerk and therefore not able to give legal advice but my personal advise to you would be to go and have a consultation with a lawyer of your own. They should be able to explain in some detail about the Family Law Act and how it works in Ontario and the division of assets as a result of it.

In some cases a pre-nup may not be necessary in others it would be. Consult with your own lawyer and see what is in YOUR best interest.

My firm refers Stanchieri Family Law - www.stanchierifamilylaw.com

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

xaria — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:00:27 GMT

My fee for the prenup was $1500. If the lawyer does not use all of the money it is returned to you. I also budgeted $500 for FH to get the prenup reviewed. Where you get married makes a big difference as some provinces are very different regarding splitting of marital assets. A lawyer can help you with this.

I used a lawyer in the Brampton area - Todd Jenny 905-450-3800. My girl friend used him as well. He is part of the firm Waite & Associates.

Good luck.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

roses2 — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:34:23 GMT

Does anyone know how much it costs to get a prenup in Ontario? Also does anyone have a recommendation for a good family lawyer (Brampton/Mississauga area)? Lastly, we are currently living in Quebec but are getting married in Ontario and will be moving back there in a year, so I'm thinking it's best to get one through a lawyer in Ontario, but does anyone know if it makes a difference? Thanks girls.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

xaria — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:15:35 GMT

I'm getting a prenup. It's already sitting on my desk. This was decided long before we got engaged. We are both in our 40's and want to protect what we have now and will have in the future.

It is a requirement that each party have their own lawyer. It doesn't matter if MIL writes the prenup - it should reduce the cost, but you will need you own lawyer. The only problem with MIL involved is the negotiation as to what is put in and removed. In this case it may be better for the sake of the family peace for your fiance to have someone else represent him.

Sure I don't want to think about divorce, but it also helps to protect the distribution of assets upon death. While you are doing this get your wills and powers of attorney done, this will also ensure you control who makes the decisions in the event something should happen.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

BeeBear — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:33:37 GMT

I agree with the PP's. If your going to consider a pre-nup, it should be a conversation between you and your FH, his mother should not be included. If it is decided that you will get one, I certainly wouldn't have your FMIL involved, that's a complete conflict of interest. As a lawyer, she should be aware of that. She should have absolutely no part of it what-so-ever.

As for my personal view on pre-nups, it also says "when we divorce". I wouldn't marry a man who insisted upon it.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

rproven — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:39:01 GMT

I think it is an incredibly responsible thing to do. No one goes into a marriage thinking they will get divorced, but it does happen. It is especially important when it comes to pensions.
During my parents marriage my mother worked full time as a teacher, while my father worked full time as a farmer. He did not pay into CPP or have a pension set up. He left her and now he is drawing half of her teaching pension plus half of her CPP.
I think it is only responsible to consider all of life's possibilities. Just because you bought fire insurance doesn't mean your house is doomed to burn down, but you will be protected if it does.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

prairiebrd — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:24:19 GMT

We kind of have one. When I bought our house, we had a lawyer draw up a Cohabitation Agreement in which DH (then boyfriend) relinquished his property rights. The Agreement contained a clause to basiically roll it into a prenup if we got legally married.

I'm really happy we have it. Neither of us were too concerned. We were both pretty surrounded by divorce(s) growing up. It felt practical.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

DonnaBella — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:22:36 GMT

[quote][b]beccak (7/22/2008)[/b][hr] I personally HATE the idea of a prenump...to me it says, "when we divorce...". [/quote]

I agree.....

Hubby & I don't have one either, and I am the one with the "great" pension plan :)

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

beccak — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:14:48 GMT

My DH is in the Navy and will ahve a really great pension too. He wanted to get a prenump written up to protect that.

I personally HATE the idea of a prenump...to me it says, "when we divorce...". We were talking about it sort of heatly one day and he had the nerve to say that he didn't know if he would get married without one. I couldn't believe it!! I started to cry and asked him if he really meant that! We were a couple of months from the wedding by this point. He shrugged and said he wasn't sure. He later apologized about saying it and said he didn't mean it. He saw what his parents went through with their divorce and was worried about it.

One night while going to sleep, he out of the blue said that we didn't need to sign one. I asked if he was sure and he said yes.

So long story short, no we don't have one. I wouldn't sign one either. That being said, if I had been marrying a millionaire, I could understand it and would probably sign one as long as I was protected too.

This was the other thing...when we were talking about it. I said, that if we were to get a prenump, we would need seperate lawyers and HE would have to pay for both of them.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

NLC123 — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:03:09 GMT

We are not getting a prenup as neither of us has any assets going into it lol. However I can see where your FH is coming from, I agree with PP's to get seperate council. It's a total conflict of interest for your EFMIL to be involved legally.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

kaisag — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:23:56 GMT

[quote][b]missdish (7/22/2008)[/b][hr]I think that you should talk about it with your FH and leave your FMIL out of it. Its none of her business. And if he wants one she shouldn't do it.[/quote]

I completely agree. If you and FH decide to get a prenup, that is up to the two of you, and EFMIL shoult absolutely NOT be involved, that is too big of a conflict of interest.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

missdish — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:24:06 GMT

I think that you should talk about it with your FH and leave your FMIL out of it. Its none of her business. And if he wants one she shouldn't do it.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

Soon2bMrsP — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:11:06 GMT

Funny that I saw this thread, I had literally JUST hung up the phone from making our Lawyer apt for the pre nup.

I DEF think you need your own lawyer to represent you... your EFMIL should understand that.. and if she doesnt TOO bad, that means she is trying to screw you over!

Prenups are touchy and frankly if it were up to just me we wouldnt be getting one, but FH wants to make sure the money he put into the downpayment of our house would go to him if we ever split,, which is fair because I wasnt even in the picture then... he isnt asking for anything unreasonable. so I am agreeing.

But I can see how it is insulting and feels like you are planning the end before you even get married!

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

dmotkoski — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:51:24 GMT

I agree that if you get one your MIL should not be involved. I was in the same kind of situation before we got engaged. My FSIL is a lawyer and FH used her for whatever he needed including when we bought a house. I wasn't comfortable with this because she doesn't need to know any of MY financial info. She's the one that suggested we do a cohabitation agreement but I said right there that it would have to be with a different lawyer. She seemed OK with that. Talk about not being objective. When we make our wills, it will be with a different lawyer and law firm totally.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

PabsGirl — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:55:18 GMT

DH and I don't have a pre-nup per say. When we purchased our house he had significantly more money to put down then. We both wanted to have this as we realized that things aren't always rosy. In event of a split up or divorce I'd like to think we'd both be reasonable but life doesn't always work out this way. So before the house closed our lawyer made a contract stating that in case we separate (weren't married yet) DH will get the entire downpayment and the profits from the sale will be split 50/50. The only reason I'm saying it's not pre-nup is because if it was we'd both need to have our own attorneys which we didn't. It was just drawn up by our real estate lawyer.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

anchor31 — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 09:26:49 GMT

We don't need one. According to Qc law, if we marry without a pre-nup, a marital regime called "partnership of acquests" applies automatically. If we separate, then everything we acquired after the wedding is split 50/50. And we don't own much pre-wedding except a used car that I wouldn't want anyway and a few second-hand pots and pans... So I can't really "take him to the dry-cleaners" if we separate, even if we don't have a contract.

That said, I agree with the others. If you have one, it should be YOUR choice, and your FH's mom should not be involved.

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

sarahandrob2010 — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 08:24:20 GMT

I agree with MaAD. If you do get a prenup, FH should NOT have his mother as his lawyer. Talk about conflict of interest! She's almost certainly going to want to make sure her son gets everything, whether it's fair or not. Especially if you two don't get along as it is (which I'm guessing is the case since you call her "efmil"! lol)

RE: Did anyone have a prenup??

MaAD — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:56:01 GMT

I can see her POV (point of view).... in her line of work she likely sees a ton of crap. It should be a decision that you and your FH make though, not her. On that note, if you two decide to have a prenup, then I would recomend that you two each get independant coucil and that neither of you have her. Nothing against her, but shes just too involved with you to be looking at it from the most professional viewpoint. (I hope that makes sense, its been a long day relaxing in my sisters new pool.... :hehe:)

-Marianne

Did anyone have a prenup??

navywife2b — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:15:05 GMT

Just wondering how many people out there have signed a prenup? Fh mom (aka efmil) is insisting that he have one (she's a family law attorney and is so used to seeing messy divorces). Fh just bought our condo and he is a naval officer so has a good pension his mother wants to protect, she doesnt believe in happily ever after as out of 7kids in her family only her one sister is still married to her original husband.

I undersatnd fh desire to have one but I do know that I will have to hire someone on my side to make sure that my efmil does not completely screw me and kate in the very unlikely (I figure we've lasted 8yrs....) event of a divorce.

What is standard in a prenup?