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RE: FMIL problems

deloresdoe — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 23:12:27 GMT

you are right and I know this but yet still after 10 years she can crush me and she does over and over again. I dont let my own mother do this to me but her..............

RE: FMIL problems

MrsMtobe — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 22:37:12 GMT

[quote][b]deloresdoe (4/8/2006)[/b][hr]MrsM does give good advice. Here is mine........you will never win. There is no point trying. Do be polite and do not get to close........and know.......thant in the end........no matter how nice, polite etc, you are.....you will never feel loved by her. she may even be getting some kind of warped sense of accomplishment by torchering you. this is my experience.

oh yeah, if you are like me, despite all of the above, you will constantly struggle for her love, and aproval and it will hurt when you dont. good luck. not that luck has done anything for me. :angry:[/quote]

Why do you struggle for the love of a woman who obviously has no love to give? Why would you want her approval my dear???? You do not need her approval. you do not need her love. What you need is the love and support of your FH, not his mother. Yes, it would be nice if she were different and could love you like a daughter. But that wont happen, so why stress over it? Just because she has issues of her own .. doesnt not mean that you are not lovable or acceptable.

Be polite to her. But set the emtional boundaries so that you dont end up feeling hurt by her words or actions. The only person torturing anyone here is yourself. You are torturing yourself to figure out why she doesnt love you, or why she treats you so horribly. SHE is the one who needs to examine her motives and behaviour. Not you. If you truly have done nothing to antagonize the woman ... then she is the one with the issues. Do not lose sleep over this woman.

RE: FMIL problems

deloresdoe — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 20:24:21 GMT

MrsM does give good advice. Here is mine........you will never win. There is no point trying. Do be polite and do not get to close........and know.......thant in the end........no matter how nice, polite etc, you are.....you will never feel loved by her. she may even be getting some kind of warped sense of accomplishment by torchering you. this is my experience.

RE: FMIL problems

fascha — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 10:55:21 GMT

I agree... MrsM is wise... Much better than my advice, lol

RE: FMIL problems

AlanaBanana — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 16:56:29 GMT

Yikes!! :w00t:

I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with this. MrsM gives great advice.

Best of luck. :)

RE: FMIL problems

MrsMtobe — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 12:56:19 GMT

Sorry to hear that you are having issues with your FMIL. Just keep in mind that ... you are marrying her son, not her. While she is still his mother, you should be respectful and polite, but you do not have to be "super close" to her. Set the boundaries with her and keep your distance emotionally, but do be polite. :) Let her look like the bad one and not yourself!

RE: FMIL problems

fascha — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 12:06:47 GMT

Sorry crazy... but I did hear that aresenic tastes like almonds, you could always maker her a cake! lol;)

RE: FMIL problems

crazykewl — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 11:50:50 GMT

youre right. It wont get better. . . unless. . . :hehe:

does anyone kow of any kidnappers i could borrow who are willing to drive to the north pole??????:hehe:

RE: FMIL problems

fascha — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:26:47 GMT

It sounds like this situation is not going to get better, I would b!tch her out and put her in her place... it can't get any worse than it is; and I know it will make you feel better!

Ok... that was bad advise, unfortunately I HATE hearing about FMILs treating their FDILs ... GRRRRR!

RE: FMIL problems

ScotBride — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:08:38 GMT

Wow sounds like a tough situation for you.

I hope everything works out for you for the wedding.

Likely, since you say your FH is a momma's boy things aren't going to change much and you can't not invite her to the wedding. You could elope ~ I know I've thought about it more than once. But honestly, who'd want to miss the big party. Can you invite off-duty police officers to guard her? Wouldn't be the first wedding I've been to where that's happened.

Nah, seriously... you're doing the right thing - just try to keep being nice. Grin and bear it until after the wedding...

Sorry I can't be more helpful but it sounds like this problem has a lot of mini issues within it and isn't a simple answer.

FMIL problems

crazykewl — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 05:37:29 GMT

This is a hard one.

i can't STAND my FMIL.

We've been together 8 years as of April 25th and Its been this way since the beggining. Shes bossy, and rude, and ignorant and she is too opinionated and did i mention CONTROLLING!!! and manipulative~!

she HATES my mom and is SO rude to her, even wwith my mom trying to be nice (she hates my mom for a personal reason, FH's sister was killed at young age of 10 . . long story and because my dad is friends with. . . the guy who killed hers, girlfriends STEPFATHER) she hates my mom because she thinks they know something and are hiding something about the murder case UGH

loooooooooooong story so wont get into it, BUT

Its getting so hard, i stress about this woman every day and dont want her in my life at all but FH is SUCH a mamas boy

I dont even want her at the wedding, according to her my family is scum! my family has had a long history with drugs / alcohol unfortunatley and have hurt me a lot but have come such a long way!!!!!!!!!!

i just. . . wish she would move to the north pole!!!!!

sorry guys!@ needed to vent!!!!! Thanks for listening :D