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RE: Itty Bitty Vent

julesmc — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 09:47:27 GMT

If you have already set the date and they haven't I would stick to your guns. I would maybe make that perfectly clear to as many people as you could.

Send out save the dates....too funny (that is like the millennium party on Seinfeld!). Jules.

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

ScotBride — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 09:42:25 GMT

Hang in there!

And, I'm with Alli... send out those "Save The Date" cards... keep going like nothing else is happening. Even send them one... then maybe they'll get the hint that it is them and not you that needs to change the date!

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

ScotBride — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 09:41:22 GMT

I went through something similar here...

FH & I announced the dates for our Jack n Jill, Bridal Shower, Bachlorette/Bachelor, Rehearsal Dinner and Wedding almost a yr and a half in advance. His cousin, distant, decided to one-up us and plan her wedding for our Rehearsal dinner.

I was PEEVED!

A couple months go by... we've reorganized our Rehearsal dinner... and lo & behold... are told that the cousins wedding is off... her FMIL tried to take over and even bought her a dress without asking!

I know it's kinda evil but sometimes ppl get what they deserve!

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

MrsMtobe — Sat, 08 Apr 2006 05:17:26 GMT

[quote][b]terri33 (4/7/2006)[/b][hr]So T and I got engaged less than a month ago. Within 24 hrs we had set the date and because of the weekend we picked, we started planning and booking. We've booked the church, the hall, the caterer, the DJ, the photographer, and the videographer. We securred our funding and have paid our deposits. Obviously, we are getting married May 19/07.

It appears that our date conflicts with that of a distant relatives. Something like a cousin through marriage but because everyone on FH's side is from the same small town, they are all expecting to be invited to the wedding. This distant relative got engaged at Christmas and we have been informed that our dates are the same. As I assumed they had started planning before us, we said we may consider changing our date. As it turns out, they have not booked a single thing, have not looked at a single venue, and have not talked to a single vendor. Also, they chose their date after we chose ours.

I feel as though we are being expected to change our date because of a person I have never met and FH and has not seen in many years. I know I do not "understand" as his family is much more closely knit that my family is and they see this as a major issue and do not want to have to chose. How do we inform my FH's family that date changes is not something we are going to consider? I don't want to be the biatch that caused the problem but I don't feel this other couple can just tell us to change our date when they have taken no actions to plan their wedding.[/quote]

I don't see why there are issues with this ... you have the date booked with vendors and deposits are made. The other couple have nothing, nada, zero, zilch. Send out your save the date cards and let family know that the date is set for your wedding day.

If the other couple go ahead and book the same day elsewhere well .. that's pretty retarded of them to do that because then it appears almost as if it was done to spite you, and they look bad for that. They can surely pick another day since they haven't made deposits yet.

Why do people go nuts over a date???? It's only a date .... like any other in any other month of any other year. People need to remember that they are getting married to someone they love, and not to a date.

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

JadeFleur — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 23:13:09 GMT

Same thing happened to me and my fiancee. We never officially announced our engagment and fiancee didn't want to until he could afford an engagment ring. So we kinda started planning quietly meanwhile his brother and his fiancee..the same. We figured because they are soo young and they told the family they were going to wait til they're done school..etc... We didn't worry about them. Heard rumors about a May 10th unknown year.Well when we announced our engagment and wedding date May 12th 2007 (which we had picked before any rumors of there date circulated) feelings definately got hurt but my fiancee and His brother talked and we both said if meant soo much the date could be changed. But in your case I would say you shouldn't change your date. You have started planning and shouldn't have to loose your deposit's. My advise have your fiancee talk it out with his cousin to clear up any further misconception. Double wedding anyone???

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

alligap — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 22:36:55 GMT

hehe... i;d be sneaky and send out 'save the date cards' that way people can say that they were formaly invited to your first! ~ Alli xoxo

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

julia56 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 22:11:58 GMT

That's a tricky one! I think you should try talking to the couple first. I understand that you have your deposits already but at the same time they got engaged first. I'm not saying that you're wrong here but I would try to work it out with them and be the bigger person to accomodate as many as possible. It will just make your own life easier if FH's family is more on your side

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

terri33 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 17:11:43 GMT

Thanks ladies. I just don't want to seem unreasonable. I'm really quite pissed but don't want to create any animosity. We paln to just tell FH's grandmother that we are no longer considering a date change as we have paid out x amount of dollars that we would lose if we change. She'll go to bat for us.

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

AlanaBanana — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 16:45:21 GMT

I agree with the ladies here.:)

You've already put (I'm assuming) non-refundable deposits down, so your date is your date now, regardless of what this other couple chooses to do.

Carry-on making your plans. :)

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

Miley — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 16:35:48 GMT

Since you & your FH have booked your date, and secured vendors & location, etc with deposits I think that you whould be the ones who do not have to change the date. In my opinion if the other couple felt so strongly about their date they would have secured their venor(s) & at the least a church/ceremony/reception location, but since this has not been done I assume they are not as concerned about the date as you and your FH were. I would speak with your family & maybe with FH mom & dad about this situation and that you have decided (you being yourself & FH) that this is the date & your sticking to it. After that you may want to call the other couple & advise them that you have booked vendors & paid deposits & see if they would be willing to adjust their date (maybe before yours - I dunno).

I hope this works our for you & FH and that if the date is not adjusted that the family understands that $ was involved with your vendors & that it was the other couple who chose not to make any changes.

Best wishes with this situation:cool:

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

dansfiance — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 15:44:50 GMT

I agree with the ladies.. you don't have to change your date at all..

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

Katie4 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 13:50:14 GMT

Something like that happened in my family a while ago, and my uncle missed his brothers wedding because his step-daughter had her wedding the same day. It really upset the family and someone could have easily changed something. Don't let this person ruin your day, if you've made all the bookings- then go with it.

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

ash216 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 13:39:58 GMT

I'm on your side. You've paid all our deposits. You could lose money if they don't apply those deposits to any possible changed date.

I don't think it's fair for a couple who picked their date AFTER you AND hasn't starting planning yet to dictate that YOU have to change your date.

Just nicely inform the family that you've already put all this money down and have everything booked and that you are not going to change your date because of it.

Good luck!

Ash

RE: Itty Bitty Vent

MLD — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 13:39:06 GMT

Hello, that is a tricky situation. Since it is FH's family, maybe he could politely call the other couple and ask them if they can change their date? He can tell them you guys already booked a bunch of stuff, and you know that family will want to be at both weddings, and would it PLEASE be possible for them to move their date since they don't have anything booked yet?

Good luck!

Itty Bitty Vent

terri33 — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 12:53:49 GMT

So T and I got engaged less than a month ago. Within 24 hrs we had set the date and because of the weekend we picked, we started planning and booking. We've booked the church, the hall, the caterer, the DJ, the photographer, and the videographer. We securred our funding and have paid our deposits. Obviously, we are getting married May 19/07.