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RE: This one really takes the cake!!

scraggles — Tue, 13 May 2008 00:49:55 GMT

[quote][b]marchbride (5/8/2008)[/b][hr]My sister's wedding was potluck and byob backyard reception on their acrege. Just because someone can't afford a catered dinner doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to get their friends and family together to celebrate their marriage. What should they do? Run off to city hall for the stamp and be done with it?

Although I agree that 'assigning' tasks to guests is not something that should be done I don't necessarily see anything wrong with mentioning that it is potluck on the invitation.

Her and her hubby did a bbq (provided all the meat), had pop/juice/water/coffee so the "potluck" part was volunteer and she was asking for salads, buns etc.[/quote]

I think this is a really great point! Even for those that CAN afford an extravagant wedding, in the long run, some people might want to spend that money on, uh, their LIFE. Maybe the way this couple did this was tactless, maybe not, the letter was a bit unclear, but why not make the guests feel more involved on their day? I don't think it's a bad idea at all, and plus, it's different.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

Beltsie — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:39:59 GMT

I don't think the potluck is a bad idea, but I think assigning people duties at the wedding takes things a bit far. I would be interested in seeing the actual invite, to see how it was worded.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

smurf993 — Fri, 09 May 2008 00:24:00 GMT

I love a good pot luck... i am from a small town and at the very least most weddings have the guest bring a dessert...

however... if i am going to the wedding as a guest and i am not a close friend or family member... i really don't want to be assigned a task. Heck... even if i am a close friend.. i would want to be given task.. i would offer to help or liked to be asked... but not assigned!!

and a gift is a must... it is just thuoghtful and fun to do!!

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

sarahandrob09 — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:58:26 GMT

Although I agree that 'assigning' tasks to guests is not something that should be done I don't necessarily see anything wrong with mentioning that it is potluck on the invitation.

Her and her hubby did a bbq (provided all the meat), had pop/juice/water/coffee so the "potluck" part was volunteer and she was asking for salads, buns etc.[/quote]

This is more or less what I said in the Grumps thread when it was posted. I see nothing wrong with potluck. My cousin did it, and it was great! There was tons of food.

I'm sure that if a B&G were having potluck and someone couldn't bring something and/or couldn't help with the tasks, they would still want those guests to attend the wedding!

We considered potluck ourselves, but have settled on BBQ and asking a select few people (like my brother's gf and my aunt) if they can bring something that they make well in a large batch (like pasta salad).

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

Zim — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:51:46 GMT

[quote][b]williewonka (5/8/2008)[/b][hr] Their wedding will be a potluck. I have never heard of such a thing, and I'm wondering if this means I shouldn't bring a gift.[/quote]

This is the wedding my parents-in-law had. It seems to be old school, and much more [b]personal[/b] than weddings are these days. If I were invited to one, I would still want bring a gift, as a wedding to me is about celebrating a couple's new life together and to me a gift is part of that.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

marchbride — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:45:14 GMT

My sister's wedding was potluck and byob backyard reception on their acrege. Just because someone can't afford a catered dinner doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to get their friends and family together to celebrate their marriage. What should they do? Run off to city hall for the stamp and be done with it?

Although I agree that 'assigning' tasks to guests is not something that should be done I don't necessarily see anything wrong with mentioning that it is potluck on the invitation.

Her and her hubby did a bbq (provided all the meat), had pop/juice/water/coffee so the "potluck" part was volunteer and she was asking for salads, buns etc.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

BrandyG — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:18:48 GMT

I hope she's just lumping her info together and they didn't put it like that in the invites. They should have put something like "if anyone is willing to give us a hand on the day of, we would greatly appreciate the gift of your time, and to please call 555-5555 to find out what we need done." or something like that.

I don't mind the potluck thing at all though, as long as the b & g are providing at least some food so that there will be enough.

And that noone puts on the invites that a gift is expected, but that should go for all weddings anyway.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

lovemrk — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:08:25 GMT

Real classy!

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

williewonka — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:20:09 GMT

That's just it. The letter makes it sound like all of this info came with the invite. If that's the case, very poor judgement. If people were asked ahead of time and it was discussed before sending out the invites then fine. If not, shame on the B & G. They going to end up with no guests and no food. Hey, maybe that's their plan all along. lol!

Also, I would be pissed if I brought a huge platter of homemade perogies (very time consuming to make) and some turd shows up with a bucket of KFC. But I guess that would be my fault for making food and not just buying it.

RE: This one really takes the cake!!

aotter — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:09:52 GMT

You know I wouldn't mind helping out a B & G on their wedding day as long as I'm asked if I could help but not told which is how it sounds in the article. As for the potluck I would be okay with that, I think it would be fun and different and esp. if the B & G are having major financial difficulty and can't really afford a catered dinner then it would be okay but it also depends on the number of guests and how much food you have to bring. What if some ppl show up with no food? if they want to go that cheap they should just have a giant bbq. As for a gift after being told to help decorate and bring my own food, I don't think I would b/c bringing food and helping them should be gift enough for them. jmo.

This one really takes the cake!!

williewonka — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:53:37 GMT

In Dear Abby today:

DEAR ABBY: Two friends of mine are being married. Their wedding will be a potluck. I have never heard of such a thing, and I'm wondering if this means I shouldn't bring a gift.

On top of bringing food, they have also assigned people to various tasks, such as setting up the hall, doing dishes, serving the cake and such. What does a wedding guest do in a situation like this? -- NOT SURE IF I DO

DEAR NOT SURE: It appears this affair is one in which an unusual amount of effort is expected of the "guests." Unless you are prepared to participate fully -- and that includes giving them a small wedding gift -- stay home and watch a rerun of "Father of the Bride."

Yowza! :w00t: