CanadianBride.com Talkboards / CanadianBride.com Talkboard / Conflicts & Etiquette / Greedy brides/grooms!!!! edited/deleted / Latest Posts

RE: Greedy brides/grooms!!!! edited/deleted

MrsMtobe — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 05:05:25 GMT

[quote][b]dansfiance (4/12/2006)[/b][hr]holy sh*t.. people... jebus.[/quote]

You can say that again! I knew this thread would get interesting :hehe:

RE: Greedy brides/grooms!!!! edited/deleted

MrsMtobe — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 05:04:02 GMT

[quote][b]peach125 (4/12/2006)[/b][hr]I went to 8 weddings last year and this is the sum total of what we spent:

-shower gift $100

-stag $100 (65 for the stag ticket and 35 on random games and raffles)

-wedding $250 at least, more if it was someone with whom we had a closer relationship.

For a couple of those weddings, add an engagement gift OR flowers delivered to the house (b/c I like to do something either way) if they weren't having a get-together for the engagement, plus the cost of stagettes/batchelor parties.

I would never call one of these eight couples greedy. They are doing what is done in our culture. I know when I hear someone close to me got engaged, $500 is going to them over their engagement, it's just how it works!

I feel badly because it is evident that you were unaware of these costly events, and perhaps if you knew going forward you would have declined an invite or two, but I don't see them as being greedy necessarily.

For you to not give them a gift for their wedding sounds like you want to get your 'money's worth' thus far, and I think that's a shame. No one put a gun to your head to go to ANY of these functions, nor to spend what you did. A wedding gift should be given from the heart not based on 'paying the plate' but a wedding GUEST should also come with an open heart. If you don't feel particularly generous or kind towards the couple that day, stay home. [/quote]

Good point!!

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fascha — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 15:56:26 GMT

I know, Jules... now you see how I get all my posts... :P

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dansfiance — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 15:32:44 GMT

holy sh*t.. people... jebus.

RE: Greedy brides/grooms!!!! edited/deleted

icywedding — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 10:04:45 GMT

[quote][b]peach125 (4/12/2006)[/b][hr]So, who died and made you Wedding Goddess, sitting there and judging what she should have and should not have done???

Every Bride and Groom makes choices regarding their wedding celebration, and those choices are not going to please 200-plus people. They are doing what they want for them and rightfully so, just as I am sure you are making choices for yourself that a few of your guests may question. Unless you've done a survey of all 200 people and developed a concensus that this couple is on another planet, just let it be. They are doing what they want, and you will do what you want. I was merely pointing out that their 'costs' are not entirely unheard of, despite how it may seem to you.

And yes, I can appreciate the whole 'not being able to say no' bit but you are an adult not a child who is going to stop their feet about it...I'm sure you could find a tactful way out of it if that is the route you chose.

If not, grin and bear it. You wouldn't want a disgruntled guest coming to your wedding with a chip on their shoulder, would you?[/quote]

No... but I suppose you are the Wedding Goddess who can decide when a bride is being Greedy, and when what they are doing is Normal? If you read most of the replies on this topic, you will see that most people also agree that what she is doing is a little bit "over the top".

This argument will just keep going around in circles.... which is why I have deleted it now. Come to think of it, without people knowing the exact circumstances surrounding the event and this couple, I shouldn't have posted anything because it's impossible for people to understand where I am coming from. If you knew HER (the bride), you'd know where I was coming from!! Can you say, Bridezilla?? lol. There are just too many details and too many circumstances that are leading up to why I feel this way about the whole thing. I can't post up all the details........ so we'll leave it at that. I posted it right after the stag and when I was quite upset about the adding costs of these functions, but there is much more to it.

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peach125 — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 09:43:15 GMT

So, who died and made you Wedding Goddess, sitting there and judging what she should have and should not have done???

If not, grin and bear it. You wouldn't want a disgruntled guest coming to your wedding with a chip on their shoulder, would you?

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icywedding — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 09:22:54 GMT

[quote][b]peach125 (4/12/2006)[/b][hr]

I said it before and I am going to stay it AGAIN...... it's not a matter of "choice" if we go to these events ---- we HAVE TO GO as this is his immediate cousin. There is no option to "give less" ---- it is frowned upon by the family and would cause huge conflict. My beef is the fact that this girl is having all of these events paid for by her MIL, and then requesting cash gifts in return..... which is for her to MAKE MONEY. Bottom line! This is not a hard concept to understand.

It's easy for you to sit back and say, "just don't go if you feel that way then" -- but if you don't come from this type of family, you have no idea of the ramifications it would cause if we DIDN'T GO. The way I feel is mainly:

a) she should not have had such a ridiculous engagement party at a banquet hall and invited over 200 guests.... it was EXACTLY like a wedding and there was no need for it.

b) she should not have requested a "money shower", rather let people bring whatever types of gifts that they wanted --- another sign that she just wants more money.

c) the stag should have been much less expensive and the guests should not have been made to pay THAT MUCH for the event... another cash grab.

Sheesh...... why is it SO HARD for some of you to believe that there are actually women/men out there who do see their wedding as a CASH GRAB???? Not everyone out there is "innocent" and is just following tradition.... and to think that way is very naive. I've been to MANY weddings in my day, and I can tell you from experience that this couple is out to make a nice fat profit from their marriage... no doubt about it. I'm not saying that this is true for every couple out there.... but in this situation, and due to the circumstances, these 2 certainly are. End of story!

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fascha — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 08:46:31 GMT

well said Peach!

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peach125 — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:28:23 GMT

I went to 8 weddings last year and this is the sum total of what we spent:

-shower gift $100

-stag $100 (65 for the stag ticket and 35 on random games and raffles)

-wedding $250 at least, more if it was someone with whom we had a closer relationship.

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lstreet — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 23:54:33 GMT

That's incredibly rude and unncessary for them to do that. A wedding is definatly not about making a profit - it should simply be a celebration! JMHO...

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UneekBride — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:19:36 GMT

Our wedding rule is no gifts and no money. We just want people there. No Jack or Jill either. We are happy with what we have. It might not be much. But then our wedding is under 2000...lol!

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nicolev — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:14:37 GMT

I can relate to that horrible 'money grab' situation! Unfortunately its my own brother and his 'wife to be' who are the culprits. I posted on the old boards about how I was upset with my brother and his way of going about his wedding plans and celebrations. All I can say is that yes it is stressful to plan a wedding but when the couple start 'overdoing' it, with the extravagant parties the guests will eventually start talking about how its a money grab situation. There's a polite way to state what you need as far as gifts and then the rude way to say you will only except certain things! JMHO

Someone told me that a lot of our guests will appreciate our wedding which is more organized compared to my bro's money grab one! LOL People are different with what they call a celebration and a money grab event. Sounds to me this is one of those selfish money grab 'party's'. :doze:

~Nicole

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MrsMtobe — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:47:41 GMT

this is turning into an interesting thread!!

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MrsZator — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 15:36:04 GMT

[quote][b]fascha (4/11/2006)[/b][hr]Not everything is as it seems Val, my family would look at me like I was high if I told them we're having the reception at the Lion's Club and that there would be 1 course(which by the way I think is also totally fine). We come from different cultures, and it's very presumptuous of you to say that it looks like Italian weddings are all about the money, that's just what we do.[/quote]

I totaly agree:D

I was not born to an Italian family but my moms boyfriend adopted me so now I am legally Italian....lol

Anyhoo, he is very set on us doing it "big", they just want to have the beginning of our new life to start out good.

Put it towards a house, car, education! It's one time in your life that you can help and its to help a new couple get their life started.....how bad can that be:)

If you didn't want to give so much, you didn't have to. I know I wasn't expected to shell out tons of cash. Give what's in your budget and your family (who knows how your lifestyle is) will understand :D

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didi2 — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:56:46 GMT

Well what is done is done..right? If knew it would be like this in the first place you would have given them less at their engagement party...so if there is no other option but to show up at the wedding...$100 would be more then enough to cover it...you can't go back and I know you already gave lots of money..but swollow it and do it. IMHO

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icywedding — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:49:54 GMT

^^ thank you...... that is what I am trying to say.

Honestly...... it wouldn't be so bad if she DIDNT have such an enormous engagement party that was a replica of a wedding in the first place, and if she didn't specifically request a money shower. The stag was just the topper... and specifically pricing admission at $60, and pricing tickets at $45 was just horrible IMO.

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didi2 — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:38:46 GMT

There are different traditions involved into this dicussions, each country has a different tradition for a wedding, in my country traditions are chanaged village to village...so same with your families traditions..or your circle of friends they might think this is just unacceptable to bring money but in some countries it is normal...and people don't even ask themselves..hmm what should I buy for their wedding...they consider money to be a gift.

I know most of people don't like monetary gifts...but in european countries this is a norm...there is no other way...

I just think that this couple is overdoing it...and just asking for money even after event!!!!and I think it's absurde!!!!!

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fascha — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:31:17 GMT

Not everything is as it seems Val, my family would look at me like I was high if I told them we're having the reception at the Lion's Club and that there would be 1 course(which by the way I think is also toally fine). We come from different cultures, and it's very presumptuous of you to say that it looks like Italian weddings are all about the money, that's just what we do.

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igottajlo — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:22:54 GMT

[quote][b]icywedding (4/11/2006)[/b][hr][quote][b]igottajlo (4/11/2006)[/b][hr]Ok I can see your point that you've already spent SOOO much money why should you give MORE? But, you could have said, "I'm very sorry, but I have a very important prior committment and can't attend." And send a card with a family member. No one forced you to go and give $150. My philosophy with cash gifts if give what you can afford. If $100 is really all you can afford, do so. If you can afford $1,000, do so. ***I'm not saying that you SHOULD give a large gift, but if you can afford $1K it's different than someone who can't!*** ...

For my cousin's wedding, FH and I gave her $100. I would have loved to gave her more, but it was all we could afford. We still went to her stag and doe and spent about $50. I was a student at the time. We were living off FH's income alone. Which yes, it was tight, but we gave what we could. Is it greedy? Perhaps. But it's their culture to do so. (I don't mean be greedy, I mean to have money showers and large engagement parties).

So who are you to be saying they are greedy? Give what you can. If they don't like it, they are the bad people, not you. But by calling them greedy, you're making yourself sound bad ... [/quote]

What you don't seem to understand is the fact that if you DON'T give a generous gift.... it does not reflect well on your part by the family. Please keep in mind that this is not some long lost friend of relative... this is my FH's immediate cousin. If he/we don't provide a generous gift, it is very much "frowned upon".... and everyone knows that. And neither of us is poor, we both have well paying full time jobs and his cousin knows that........ it's just that there comes a point where the line must be drawn and we're tired of constantly dipping into our pockets in order throw more money their way. I stated at the end of my post that they look bad if they "frown" upon you ... you sound selfish ... if you have a well-paying job, I understand it can get excessive, but if you can afford it ...

And excuse me.... but I am not making myself "sound bad" by calling them greedy.... they are greedy! The only reason why they are holding so many of these functions is to make as much money as possible. As I said, don't go. If the family frowns upon you, really do you care? They are making themselves look stupid. They are greedy because they are trying to profit from their marriage, and there is no doubt about that. There is more to the story too... in terms of ways that the bride has been "cutting corners" at the functions in order to save on expenses.... to maximize her profit.... TRUST ME. [/quote] Then why are you going? This obviously really upsets you, why bother going? If they want to make a big stink about it, let them. If his family makes a big stink, let them. If their opinions matter THAT much to you, suck it up. But if not, then do what you feel is right. If you feel they are having a "money grab", don't contribute or contribute less. :)

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mrshippo — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:22:32 GMT

In my family / culture / circle of friends... no one ( and I mean NO ONE ) would ever even think to ask or presume what you are giving as a wedding gift.

When we throw a wedding shower, we give things like toasters and ironing boards and laundry baskets and towels. We wrap up a few cute dishcloths and spatulas and a fun cookbook. We love to play those stupid games and see the babies playing on the floor with the paper.

For a wedding, if you gave money - no one would ever even think to ask how much. And in my family - if you used the expressions "pay for your plate" or "money shower" they would look at you like you are high. Wedding gifts in my family are often things like coolers, comforters, sheets, lawn chairs, and glasses. Maybe a nice clock or a silver picture frame. One of the BEST gifts is a home made quilt from my grandmother. The women in my family prize those above all gifts.

Maybe we are simple folk, but it's normal to us and the most important thing is that the bride and groom are getting married and we love them and want to be part of their day to celebrate with them.

So - excuse me if I don't fully understand the customs involved with $70 stags and presentation showers and paying for your plate. It's just a bit foreign to me. Seems like it's all about money and not so much about the marriage. But that's just my 2 cents.

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fascha — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:22:04 GMT

I think it's pretty pathetic to expect to profit from your wedding, let alone demand to profit from the wedding, but is it really necessary to give 150.00 as an ENGAGEMENT gift??? I mean, I'm Italian and most of my engagement gifts were, wedding planners, bridal magazine, flowers... I thought that engagement presents were supposed to be thoughtful SMALL token gifts???

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AlanaBanana — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:17:12 GMT

[quote][b]icywedding (4/11/2006)[/b]

...if you DON'T give a generous gift.... it does not reflect well on your part by the family... If he/we don't provide a generous gift, it is very much "frowned upon".... and everyone knows that. [/quote]

Sadly, this type of politics exhists in my family, too.

Icy - you could save yourself some dough on a wedding gift by buying a gift rather than giving cash. Buy an original piece of art for $75-ish... who's to say it didn't cost you $300?;)

Best of luck.

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fascha — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:13:39 GMT

[quote][b]mrshippo

You calculate that you will LOSE about 20K on your wedding? Like it's an investment that went sour and you lost money on it? I don't get it.
You would hae to ber pretty naive to think that no one will bring you a gift on your wedding day, so please don't pretend you "don't get it" because you do

If you are planning a big wedding with expensive components, don't you just expect it to cost money? Of course I do, which is why I told you I expect to lose that money, if it's spent, it's lost! I am not Italian, so maybe I am missing the boat on this one, but why would you plan a wedding expecting it to not cost you money? Did I mention I was looking for a free wedding? I simply stated that I KNEW that it would end up costing me 20K to have the wedding I wanted! Obviously people will give you gifts, but if you are planning a wedding... isn't the point ot get married... not to make money? If I wanted to make money on my wedding I would have had it at a cheap venue and booked cheaper vendors, I do NOT, under ANY circumstances expect to "make money" on my wedding[/quote]

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icywedding — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:11:53 GMT

[quote][b]igottajlo (4/11/2006)[/b][hr]Ok I can see your point that you've already spent SOOO much money why should you give MORE? But, you could have said, "I'm very sorry, but I have a very important prior committment and can't attend." And send a card with a family member. No one forced you to go and give $150. My philosophy with cash gifts if give what you can afford. If $100 is really all you can afford, do so. If you can afford $1,000, do so. ***I'm not saying that you SHOULD give a large gift, but if you can afford $1K it's different than someone who can't!*** ...

So who are you to be saying they are greedy? Give what you can. If they don't like it, they are the bad people, not you. But by calling them greedy, you're making yourself sound bad ... [/quote]

What you don't seem to understand is the fact that if you DON'T give a generous gift.... it does not reflect well on your part by the family. Please keep in mind that this is not some long lost friend of relative... this is my FH's immediate cousin. If he/we don't provide a generous gift, it is very much "frowned upon".... and everyone knows that. And neither of us is poor, but we're not rich either... we both have full time jobs and his cousin knows that........ it's just that there comes a point where the line must be drawn and we're tired of constantly dipping into our pockets in order throw more money their way. There is no option to give NO gift at all........ that's just not how things are done in any Italian/Portuguese/Greek/etc. etc. wedding. And there's no way to say "Nope, we're not going to the wedding" due to the fact that she is an immediate cousin.

And excuse me.... but I am not making myself "sound bad" by calling them greedy.... they are greedy! The only reason why they are holding so many of these functions is to make as much money as possible. They are greedy because they are trying to profit from their marriage, and there is no doubt about that. There is more to the story too... in terms of ways that the bride has been "cutting corners" at the functions in order to save on expenses.... to maximize her profit.... TRUST ME.

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AlanaBanana — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:10:03 GMT

[quote][b]mrshippo (4/11/2006)[/b][hr][quote][b]fascha (4/11/2006)[/b][hr] I calculate that we will lose about 20K on our wedding, because we wanted to do everything top notch... and we did! That's more than MOST people's budgets! [/quote]

You calculate that you will LOSE about 20K on your wedding? Like it's an investment that went sour and you lost money on it? I don't get it. If you are planning a big wedding with expensive components, don't you just expect it to cost money? I am not Italian, so maybe I am missing the boat on this one, but why would you plan a wedding expecting it to not cost you money? Obviously people will give you gifts, but if you are planning a wedding... isn't the point ot get married... not to make money?[/quote]

Maybe substitute the word "lose" with the word "spend," and it won't sound like Fascha is playing the stock-market.

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AlanaBanana — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:08:16 GMT

Um, focusing on the issue at hand...

Yes, this is turing out to be a costly schedule of events for you both.

My advice: Consider your "engagement" gift as the wedding gift, bring a card, and enjoy their wedding. You don't need to give more then you already have.

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mrshippo — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:00:53 GMT

[quote][b]fascha (4/11/2006)[/b][hr] I calculate that we will lose about 20K on our wedding, because we wanted to do everything top notch... and we did! That's more than MOST people's budgets! [/quote]

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Allegra — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 13:29:53 GMT

What this bride and groom have done is not unheard of in my circle. The only thing I tend to think is a little much is a huge engagement party mostly because who wants to plan a mini-wedding while also planning the real wedding and a shower? Its too much stress, IMO.

I had an engagement party with just immediate family (aunts, uncles, cousins) and while we did receive gifts that's not why it was held. We wanted to celebrate our engagement with the people closest to us.

Aside from that I'm having a shower and FH is having a stag, I think about $70/ticket is pretty standard for a stag. We'll probably also have bachelor/bachlorette parties but that'll be just with our closest friends and won't include gifts, just fun (I'm thinking of a trip to Vegas.)

If you're really that upset don't go to the wedding. I can understand how all the money can get overwhelming but if you didn't want to attend an event you shouldn't have gone.

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igottajlo — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:29:38 GMT

Ok I can see your point that you've already spent SOOO much money why should you give MORE? But, you could have said, "I'm very sorry, but I have a very important prior committment and can't attend." And send a card with a family member. No one forced you to go and give $150. My philosophy with cash gifts if give what you can afford. If $100 is really all you can afford, do so. If you can afford $1,000, do so. ***I'm not saying that you SHOULD give a large gift, but if you can afford $1K it's different than someone who can't!*** ...

So who are you to be saying they are greedy? Give what you can. If they don't like it, they are the bad people, not you. But by calling them greedy, you're making yourself sound bad ...

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icywedding — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:23:01 GMT

^^ Very well said!! I certainly don't have a problem with people giving gifts out of their own free will.... but when it becomes the bride & groom specifically REQUESTING cash at any of their events, it becomes a huge burden on the people around them. I feel a very strong resentment towards this couple now, whereas before I had no issues with them.

My FH has said that he is going to give a very small cash gift at the wedding because of all the crap we have had to endure beforehand. We can't give them an empty card (as we would become the black sheep of the family if we did!! lol). He was originally going to give a rather large gift (because it is a family member of his), but after all of this he has certainly changed his mind.

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Ember — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 09:01:12 GMT

Engagement parties are not a gift giving event. In fact, they are often a suprise to guests for this every reason. Guests are invited to a party and then the engagement in announced. The fact the gifts were obvioulsy expected...

I've never been big on Jack & Jill's or wedding socials becuase I don't think of weddings as charities that need fundraisers (and you'd think will all the $$ this couple seems to have they wouldn't need to be hitting up other people so blatently). I have no problem with guest choosing to give money at a shower, but explicity stating it is a money shower is very tasteless.

I agree - this couple is obviously out to take their guests for a ride. However, even if they have only good intentions, do they not realize their wedding (and wedding events) has become a burdon to people?! You probably aren't the only one sick and tired of giving, and giving and giving. It isn't something you want to do anymore, and you are starting to resent them for it (and I don't blame you!). I bet that at the end of all their events many people will not remember the actual wedding, only that they cost so darn much! (What a way to be remembered, as expensive and as you said, greedy!)

I would get the couple a nice card for their wedding. You have given more them more then enough to pad their wallets.

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fascha — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 08:46:11 GMT

Apart from the giant engagement party, FH and I are doing the same thing (no Money shower, but we'll probably get money as we are Italian) and FH's stag tickets will probably be 65 OR 75 depending on what stag menu he chooses. I calculate that we will lose about 20K on our wedding, because we wanted to do everything top notch... and we did! That's more than MOST people's budgets! So I don't think this B & G are greedy at all. Engagement party, standard. Money Shower, standard in my neck of the woods. Stag, Standard (with the exception of the ticket raffles, which I'm sure no one twisted your Fh's arm to buy any) and the Wedding, again standard. I don't see the big deal here????

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MrsMtobe — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 01:50:18 GMT

[quote][b]everlovin (4/10/2006)[/b][hr]It takes two to tango. I am sure

that it took you and your FH awhile

to figure out what was going on here

because all these events came along

one by one and now, hindsight is a

wonderful thing.

If you guys feel that you have already

dropped enough coin of the realm in

their direction, then go to the

wedding and give nothing. There is

no protocol that requires you to give

a gift. Should they be crass enough

to ask about it after the wedding,

then tell them straight up that you

already gave at the other functions.

EL [/quote]

I do agree with EL here too

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leggebride — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 16:54:35 GMT

[quote][b]everlovin (4/10/2006)[/b][hr]It takes two to tango. I am sure

that it took you and your FH awhile

to figure out what was going on here

because all these events came along

one by one and now, hindsight is a

wonderful thing.

If you guys feel that you have already

dropped enough coin of the realm in

their direction, then go to the

wedding and give nothing. There is

no protocol that requires you to give

a gift. Should they be crass enough

to ask about it after the wedding,

then tell them straight up that you

already gave at the other functions.

EL [/quote]

I completely agree!!! The nerve of some people.. I don't know if I would even want to attend the wedding after all that!

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everlovin — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 16:30:13 GMT

It takes two to tango. I am sure

that it took you and your FH awhile

to figure out what was going on here

because all these events came along

one by one and now, hindsight is a

wonderful thing.

If you guys feel that you have already

dropped enough coin of the realm in

their direction, then go to the

wedding and give nothing. There is

no protocol that requires you to give

a gift. Should they be crass enough

to ask about it after the wedding,

then tell them straight up that you

already gave at the other functions.

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sriebot — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:08:11 GMT

thats crazy! And i thought that we were being greedy by asking $10 for our jack and jill tickets, i wanted to ask $5, but FH wouldnt let me!! lol This is obviously just a money making machine for these people, I just want my guests to enjoy themselves, not go broke over me!!

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MrsZator — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:03:56 GMT

[quote][b]icywedding (4/10/2006)[/b][hr]

Here’s the story: one of my fiancee’s relatives is getting married this June. (Keep in mind that both of us come from Western European backgrounds where it is normal to give gifts of money for the wedding). Ever since they got engaged, there has been nothing but expensive functions for people to attend! It’s just ridiculous! First, they had a HUGE engagement party at a banquet hall in the winter. I swear… it was just like a wedding, minus the wedding dress and tuxedos! There were over 200 guests, and there was a head table with the wedding party, a live band, dinner was served, dancing, etc. We brought money to the engagement and gave them $150 (which I imagine is a lot less compared to what other people gave). I would not have given that much!!

THEN… she held her wedding shower last month. She specifically requested a MONEY SHOWER, but had registered for a few small gifts at Sears too. I refused to give money for a shower (I am one of those women who is totally against the idea of a money shower…. a shower should be for functional gifts that the couple needs, and the fun of a shower is to watch the bride open up her gifts and stuff). So I had to go out purchase a wedding gift, spent approx $75.00 on it. I can't believe she requested a money shower!?! WTF???

THEN… the groom held his stag. Another money-grab function. The admission cost was $60 for the guys (again… this was held at a banquet hall)… and then when my fiancée got there he had to spend money on various games and things. As we all know with most stags (or Jack & Jills), there is usually a raffle with prizes, as long as you purchase tickets. From what I know, tickets are usually low priced at about $5 or $10 for a handful of tickets. BUT NOOOOOO, they had to pay $45 for a strip of tickets!!!!! That's just ridiculous!!!There was no option to pay less if you wanted to have less tickets… just a flat fee of $45. So over $100 in total was spent by my fiancée for the stag (and he barely knows the groom that well).

Now, the wedding is coming up, and again we will be providing a cash gift. This is normal for our culture… but after all of these money-sucking functions, we are incredibly frustrated and I find this couple to be incredibly greedy. I can imagine that they have made at least $5000 in total from everyone with all of these things so far. I just have to vent… I wish that I could say something to the bride but she isn’t my family and I wouldn’t want to upset my FH. His family is also very disgusted by the way that this “marriage” is going over-the top with regards to money-spending functions, but there is not much that you can say to the couple. I just wish she knew how greedy she is coming across to most of her guests!!! There is no doubt that this couple is very much trying to profit from their wedding date I doubt there making profit with all this extravagent crap there doing!! But still!!, and it makes me sick!! I would never have the nerve to make my guests go through all of these costs! In total, we’ve spent approx $345 on the “pre-wedding crap”, and will spend another $200 minimum on the wedding. A combined total of about $550 on just 1 person’s wedding!!! Ridiculous.

*end rant* :)[/quote]

I wouldn't have even gone to all the events!! I would have made it known that it was way too expensive!! It's hard when it's not your family though!!

I would be peeved too!

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DeeDee401 — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:01:21 GMT

Wow....I mean...wow....

I'm just always gratefull that people are willing to come to my wedding! (I have nightmares where nobody shows up...isn't that silly?) And I feel guilty about making people travel and pay money for that much. I can't even think about gifts!

I even feel guilty making my BMs pay for dresses and such!

I think I might be a bit overboard in the opposite direction now that I think about it!!!!

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icywedding — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 14:59:15 GMT

Yeah... I was a little bit pissed off that my FH even agreed to go and pay that much for the stag. I don't understand why he agreed to purchase the $45 raffle tickets either... I would have told them "nope, sorry, I'm out of cash for the night". He was worried that it would have looked "bad" on his part if he didn't purchase the extra tickets ON TOP of the admission cost. He even overheard the groom saying something to his buddy like, "I dunno man...... I'm not sure how much I'm gonna make or if I'm just going to break-even..." which proved to my FH that he was just out to make some extra cash. GRRRRRRR, so greedy!

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petulantfem — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 14:20:37 GMT

Umm, over $500 is waaaaaaay more than I would be willing or able to spend on someone else's wedding. That's beyond insane. That's 1/10 of our own wedding budget LOL! Sick. Can I just tell you that I would not attend a stag with a $60 fee to enter, I would not have given $150 for an engagement party (you are supposed to give money at that too??? I didn't know, I've never been to one, no one has them here. But isn't that kind of redundant?)

I'm another $50 gift-giver. But that's all we can afford to give, and I figure they want my company, not my money.

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