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RE: Is this weird?

Mrs M — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 00:14:30 GMT

I went to my cousins wedding just outside of Edmonton (north 20 minutes) and then went to the reception at the lake 1 1/2 hours away (near Red Deer, Alberta). Lots of us did it and as far as I know no one complained.

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:32:14 GMT

Thanks ladies - I now feel 100% reassured!

That said, as some of you might know already from the other thread I have going re: banquet hall reviews (I first asked for info about the Royalton, then the thread evolved over time to discuss pros/cons of other venues in the area as well), I found out that to have a wedding at Casaloma (one of my dream venues) it was within budget but the timing was terrible - you'd only be able to marry at 8am or 8:30am (then hurry to be done by 9am) if you wanted the Conservatory (best spot in the house for the ceremony), they don't do outdoor wedding ceremonies during the day, and the alternative was a room we weren't interested in, for 10am or 10:30am. This kinda sucks but whatever.

I then called Graydon Hall (my other dream venue) and found they don't do ceremonies at all unless you book a catering function w/ them as well. Essentially, even just to have coffee/tea/softbar (no liquor) after my ceremony for an hour, like a light brunch type thing, it would cost me about $10k for 120 people. NOT happening. Not for JUST my ceremony and then need to do my night thing as well. I am not content to just settle w/ a daytime light brunch thing for my entire wedding without the night party. I want the cocktails, lots of food, and dancing!

So both my dream venues are out, and many of the halls we've gone to see are just not fitting what I'm looking for (I'm looking for something very specific, I'm fussy, no shame in saying it, I know!)....

But at least now I know that it's OK to have it in 2 places, thanks to all of you, and if I find another "dream" ceremony location between now and *soon*, then I can still do that if I so choose.

At this point, going to schedule a look-see at Dinardo's Mansion in Aurora, and hope for the best. They have what looks to be a rooftop patio where you can do the ceremony either under a gazebo rooftop thing up there, or out in the open also up there, and then have the banquet indoors. It would be perfect. The owner left me a message tonight while I was out, responding to my inquiry as to whether it fits in budget or not - he says it fits in my budget. YAY! Wish me luck!

RE: Is this weird?

marchbride — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:26:53 GMT

Not weird or annoying at all..I think most are that way. I'd say more than 90% are in 2 locations - whether they're in a church or not. Your ceremony venue and reception venue do not have to be in the same place whatsoever :)

RE: Is this weird?

prairiebrd — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:05:08 GMT

I don't think that travelling btwn Ceremony & Reception is a big deal. Most people won't even realize that your ceremony's not religious. My FH's cousing had a ceremony in a park, followed by reception indoors at a hotel. It was great.

RE: Is this weird?

sarahandrob2010 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:56:06 GMT

[quote] I'm more leaning toward a ceremony at a beautiful place of grandeur at this point (since I can't afford grandeur apparently for my entire wedding reception due to budget - ha ha) and then a reception at a hall somewhere else. [/quote]

Honestly, I think that's a great idea, and none of your guests will think anything of it. If any of them say "Why didn't you have the reception where the ceremony was?" you can just reply honestly "It was way out of our price range." People totally understand that :)

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:08:58 GMT

Thx PBZ! We originally had wanted to get married at the ROM - it turns out it's $10k just to rent the space and as they are not an event space per se, it does not come with anything. You have to bring in absolutely everything from security to catering/staffing to tables/chairs, decor - the whole nine yards. That is VERY expensive and out of our budget unfortunately.

I contacted the AGO - same idea more or less - plus, the AGO has been closed for reno's til later this summer or later in the year (i forget til when) and I couldn't wait until then to book something - I would not book it without first seeing the space.

We also considered Jamie Kennedy's at the Gardiner Museum - beautiful terrace there where you're surrounded by great architecture with an awesome view of the ROM etc. - but I don't like the space at Jamie Kennedy's for my wedding - it's too stark for me and lacks warmth. Feels almost clinical other than when on the terrace.

I also considered the McMichael gallery - but haven't had a chance to get out there and not sure I love their event spaces anyway. I'm more leaning toward a ceremony at a beautiful place of grandeur at this point (since I can't afford grandeur apparently for my entire wedding reception due to budget - ha ha) and then a reception at a hall somewhere else.

If I don't do that, I will likely either book a place like Dinardo's (as you mentioned earlier) if it fits in budget or like Columbus Centre's Sala Caboto (which is definitely in budget) where I can have my ceremony outside in a pretty garden with fountains, etc. - and do the reception on the same premise, but inside.

I have decided I have to book by end of this month - so come heck of high water, by July 1st I will hopefully have a venue. Wish me luck!

I am still however open to suggestion so please keep them coming if you have them!

RE: Is this weird?

pbz — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:12:18 GMT

years ago i went to a wedding of a christian friend who was marring a jewish girl. they had their ceremony at an art gallery (or maybe it was a museum, i don't remember) there was an outside area. it was really cool. then we all went back to the hotel where the reception was.

here's a website i found listing ontario's museums.
www.museumsontario.com

RE: Is this weird?

sarahandrob2010 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 07:34:40 GMT

Yes, Maggie is hunter2be :) Too bad it won't work. Oh well :)

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 01:49:49 GMT

Oh - is Maggie AKA Hunter2Be on CB? I know she got married there if that's her. :) I had that one my list but it got taken off - it's just not quite what we're looking for. It's a really cool venue, and it's got great character, but just not what we're looking for. The spaces weren't quite right for our #'s capacity wise for one thing. But thanks anyway! I am hoping that we can do our ceremony at Casaloma, or Graydon Hall maybe, and then find a banquet hall with modern elegance, that is affordable for us, and which has great food/service. Here's hoping! :)

RE: Is this weird?

sarahandrob2010 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:20:08 GMT

Hmmmm... Maggie is nowhere to be found (maybe partly it's cause I'm impatient :P) but I found the info on her website:

The Academy Of Spherical Arts
#1 Snooker St, formerly 38 Hanna Ave.
Toronto
Ontario
M6K 1X5

www.sphericalarts.com

I have no idea what the price is like, but it's something else to look into at least :)

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:45:08 GMT

Thanks Sarah!

RE: Is this weird?

sarahandrob2010 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:26:18 GMT

[quote]I love gardens, but I am a big fan of art, architecture and design, I love places with a ton of character, like Graydon Hall Manor (an old stone mansion from early 1900s with an incredible stone terrace and garden with stone fountain, stone pillars, etc. - very grand looking. I guess I just want a fairy tale type ceremony. :) I also LOVE Casa Loma though haven't been there in years. It would be awesome to get married in the gardens there, or in the conservatory if weather didn't cooperate (a stunning space!).

[/quote]

Where's Maggie? Didn't she have her ceremony at an arty place??

I'm gonna go hunt her down and nudge her to post here (if she hasn't already).

RE: Is this weird?

sarahandrob2010 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:22:00 GMT

It's very common for ceremonies and receptions to be in different locations. My guests are going to have to drive about half an hour, and you know what? They don't have to like it :P

It'll be worth it though :)

I definitely think that if it's important to you, you should look for alternative venues for the ceremony! It sounds like you'll regret it if you don't. And you can probably find ways to cut costs from your reception, so you have a bit more to spend on the ceremony :)

RE: Is this weird?

natluvsjun — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:35:52 GMT

Oh the hall is called "Michael's Banquet Hall & Restaurant" it's located in Concord.

It's a small cute hall, I have been there many times on other occasions.

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 10:15:02 GMT

[quote][b]natluvsjun (6/20/2008)[/b][hr]Well 2bwed, I am also having a non-demonitional ceremony, I am going to have my ceremony at the Old Mill, get my pictures taken at the Old Mill, then having my reception at a different location in a small banquet hall in Vaughan.

Originally I wanted everything to be at the Old Mill, one of my bestest friends got married there in 2006 and I fell in love with the chapel. My father is good friends with the banquet hall owner in Vaughan, so I decided to have two different locations.

I had reservations about this, I thought it would be inconvenient for my guests to go to two different places but they do that for church wedding, so why not for mine? Heehee!

I am really happy about my choice though. I am getting married on August 9th, of this year and I am really excited!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry honey, no matter what you do, remember it's your big day and your guests will definitely understand![/quote]

Ok - so you're doing what I had been thinking about. I would assume your family is on board w/ this idea considering the fact that your dad is good friends w/ the owner of the hall in Vaughan. :)

Which hall are you having it at anyway?

I may actually decide this is the way to do it. It just seems to make so much more sense to me because all the places we wanted to do our whole wedding at, none of them was perfect for both ceremony and reception - for us. Either the ceremony location was perfect and the venue out of our range for the reception budget-wise, or else, the hall was great, but couldn't accommodate the outdoor ceremony we wanted. I am going to look into how much it could possibly cost to have the wedding ceremony at a place like Casa Loma.

If anyone knows please share info! :)

To the person who suggested the Botanical Gardens - I have looked at that a number of times online. It is pretty and maybe the photos don't quite do it justice but I'm not sure it is what I am looking for. I love gardens, but I am a big fan of art, architecture and design, I love places with a ton of character, like Graydon Hall Manor (an old stone mansion from early 1900s with an incredible stone terrace and garden with stone fountain, stone pillars, etc. - very grand looking. I guess I just want a fairy tale type ceremony. :) I also LOVE Casa Loma though haven't been there in years. It would be awesome to get married in the gardens there, or in the conservatory if weather didn't cooperate (a stunning space!).

I also REALLY liked the garden/terrace at Sala Caboto (Columbus Centre), and it's beautiful for a ceremony - FH got all giddy when he saw it and started running ahead of me and then realized he left me behind so came back to grab my hand and PULL me to where we would take our vows if we got married there..... he's so funny. :P We both got that way when we saw Graydon Hall, too.

So I think we're on the same page with respect to where we want to do our ceremony - look/feel of the place.... which is good! I can't wait to find out how much it costs for just the ceremony (I'm afraid to ask!). :)

Graydon Hall is just $5.50 per chair to cover the set up costs, if you're having your entire wedding there but I'm not sure if that cost goes up if you are NOT having your reception there. Going to find out.

RE: Is this weird?

natluvsjun — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:59:58 GMT

Well 2bwed, I am also having a non-demonitional ceremony, I am going to have my ceremony at the Old Mill, get my pictures taken at the Old Mill, then having my reception at a different location in a small banquet hall in Vaughan.

Originally I wanted everything to be at the Old Mill, one of my bestest friends got married there in 2006 and I fell in love with the chapel. My father is good friends with the banquet hall owner in Vaughan, so I decided to have two different locations.

I had reservations about this, I thought it would be inconvenient for my guests to go to two different places but they do that for church wedding, so why not for mine? Heehee!

I am really happy about my choice though. I am getting married on August 9th, of this year and I am really excited!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry honey, no matter what you do, remember it's your big day and your guests will definitely understand!

RE: Is this weird?

MichelleZB — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 03:03:11 GMT

What about the Botanical Gardens?

RE: Is this weird?

Rikke — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:31:58 GMT

Sure! I think I've always travelled between ceremony and reception at the weddings I've been to and they weren't all church ceremonies. One set of friends had their ceremony in their backyard and the reception at a hall about 20 minutes away. No problemo.

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:47:45 GMT

Thanks Michelle - not sure my Jewish family would go for that. :) I mean, they'd be happy to go where I was happy to be married, but my family is Jewish and my FH's family is Christian - marrying in any type of church would kind of defeat the purpose of marrying on neutral ground so to speak.... thanks for the idea though!

I have considered marrying in a beautiful old church and just asking them to do a non-denominational ceremony but it just wouldn't feel right. I could also have our wedding in a non-denominational ceremony at a liberal synagogue (there are congregations that are basically the Jewish equivalent of Unitarian Christianity) but that also wouldn't quite feel right I'm sure for my FH or his family (or me probably). I do appreciate the post though, all ideas are welcome - and besides you never know who might be reading this thread later and be able to use some of these ideas! :)

RE: Is this weird?

MichelleZB — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:28:31 GMT

Okay, I have an idea for you: have your wedding at a Unitarian Universalist Church. There are a couple in Toronto, I think, and you'd get your "spritual place" for the ceremony--but the officiants would be more than happy to do a non-religious ceremony.

RE: Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:36:45 GMT

Thx Sarah. :) I know, most church weddings are done that way - I just wondered if it makes sense to have such a GRAND ceremony and then a plain ol' regular reception at a banquet hall.

I wonder if I did it that way, if I'd be regretting having to leave such a stunning premise after the ceremony, to have my reception at a regular ol' banquet hall. Mind you, some banquet halls are REALLY elegant. And truth be told, I could do my photos right on premise after my ceremony if I did it that way, saving travel time for the wedding party and limo driver + photographer - and by the time all that was done I'm sure I'd be happy to just get to the hall anyhow, for some drinks and food! :) This idea is starting to work for me actually. :) Where there's a will there's a way. :)

I wish I could find, like, a tried and true top 10 list for all the banquet halls in the GTA. Unfortunately most of them are all paid or sponsored listings - the rankings are just paid for most of the time online. I have searched high and low. It's hard to get a feel for a banquet hall unless you've been there. But I only have so much time to see these places.

Ideally I would love to have my ceremony at say, Graydon or Casa Loma or something, and then have my reception at say, The Royalton - if only I knew I wouldn't have to share the premise with another event's guests. That really bugs me.

[i]Any suggestions for a really modern but luxurious looking banquet hall in the GTA (ideally a place without too much traditional, ornate draping on the walls - I hate that!) where I wouldn't have to risk sharing the facilities with another event - or worse, another WEDDING? Again, my reception budget is $16k and ideally I'd like to come in under that if at all possible.[/i]

We looked at Sala Caboto at the Columbus Centre on Lawrence Ave. West the other night, and the garden terrace is BEAUTIFUL and the lobby was nice but didn't compare to The Royalton.

Pictures online don't do Sala Caboto's garden or front lobby justice though - because there have been upgrades to the premise since, with stone sculptures, fountains, (outside) etc. - it's just stunning. I was happy to have my wedding there, and the cost was right, but there were a few things I wasn't keen on even though it was so nice outside. But we'll see. At least I have my selections narrowed at this point and can work down from there.

RE: Is this weird?

saraht76 — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:02:11 GMT

[quote][b]2bwed0609 (6/19/2008)[/b][hr]

My concern is that guests will be annoyed at having to drive to 2 different locations in one day, that aren't necessarily all that near each other (could be a 20 minute drive from one place to the other, depending). I know this is normal when you get married in a church for example, but I've never heard of someone getting married in a non-denominational ceremony at one location, and then having the reception in another place. It shouldn't matter but I'm not sure if it does.

Thoughts? Is this something that is acceptable etiquette wise or what do you think? Would it seem like we are too cheap to be able to have the reception at the same luxurious place where we had our ceremony? Should we just be settling for our ceremony in a banquet hall to appease what etiquette dictates? I'm not sure..... please share thoughts. :)[/quote]

Your guests shouldn't be annoyed. Most weddings I've attended have had ceremony in one location and then a recpetion somewhere else a few hours later. Think about those people who do have church weddings...

I don't think anyone will think you are cheap. They probably won't think anything about it!

Is this weird?

2bwed0609 — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:27:04 GMT

Hi again,

Another question from yours truly. Boy I sure am getting use out of these boards!! THANK YOU CB!! :)

My Fiance and I are having a non-denominational ceremony and would like our ceremony to be special, despite it not being in a religious house of worship i.e. a church or synagogue.

We had initially wanted to have our reception and ceremony in the same location thinking we would just find a really special place to have the entire wedding, and be done with it. Not so easy, we're finding. At least not on a budget anyway.

I don't like the idea of walking down the aisle in a banquet hall. Nothing against those who do, but for me, I want it to be something that feels special to me, something to compensate for the lack of spirituality in a banquet hall. FH and I are not religious people but I am spiritual in my own way and it's just really important to me to have my ceremony in a meaningful place, even if the meaning only comes in the form of something that speaks to me visually - i.e. in a place with incredible architecture, with great history, etc., a stunning terrace garden with sculptures, etc. - you get the point.

So I looked up all these incredible locations, like Graydon Hall, Parkwood Estate in Oshawa, Liberty Grand...... all beautiful, stunning locales, that I'd LOVE to get married at - each with a stunning outdoor backdrop for my fairytale ceremony. :)

However - our budget doesn't stretch that far. My reception including all incremental costs has to come in at or under $16k. So, I'm left looking for the most part, at banquet halls or nightclubs.

FH and I are going to look at SHMOOZE downtown on Tuesday, and that could end up being a venue that IS within budget (seems to be based on pricing I've seen so far), and which has a rooftop patio where I could potentially have the wedding ceremony - but I'm not so sure I want to have my wedding ceremony in a nightclub - it just kind of seems like a sacrilege.... I know that sounds odd coming from someone who's not religious, but it just does. Nightclubs go under all the time, I would prefer to have my ceremony at a place of meaning, again. Shmooze has no meaning to us, it's just a cool venue for a party and it's in budget.

We have found a couple of banquet halls that are absolutely beautiful which just can't unfortunately accommodate an outdoor wedding ceremony in a location that we really liked. It's either in a terrace overlooking a parking lot and/or a drive through fast food place, or on the side of a highway, surrounded by parking lots and warehouses, construction equipment and Mack trucks.

So I've begun thinking, maybe we could do our ceremony at one of our dream locations, but our reception at a more affordable venue. For example, maybe it only costs $800 or so to do a ceremony ONLY at a beautiful place like Casa Loma (I'm not sure) - and we could do our pictures on site as well - immediately following. But then, have the reception a few hours later, after pictures are done, at a hall that IS within our budget - like the Royalton, or some other hall in the GTA.

My concern is that guests will be annoyed at having to drive to 2 different locations in one day, that aren't necessarily all that near each other (could be a 20 minute drive from one place to the other, depending). I know this is normal when you get married in a church for example, but I've never heard of someone getting married in a non-denominational ceremony at one location, and then having the reception in another place. It shouldn't matter but I'm not sure if it does.

Thoughts? Is this something that is acceptable etiquette wise or what do you think? Would it seem like we are too cheap to be able to have the reception at the same luxurious place where we had our ceremony? Should we just be settling for our ceremony in a banquet hall to appease what etiquette dictates? I'm not sure..... please share thoughts. :)