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My Mother is on my case! Expand / Collapse
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Posted 4/11/2006 11:39:00 PM






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Last Login: Yesterday @ 4:44:05 PM
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Ok here's the deal.
My mother's been on my case about my weight for about 5 years... granted I have gained a lot of weight, but still!
She and my father are paying for the majority of my wedding, however, she is now continually saying "if you don't lose weight, there is not going to be a wedding!"
Is anyone else going through this?
I cannot afford to pay for my own wedding, so that's not an option.
I would love to lose the weight too, but I feel this added pressure that is unnecessary.

Please help me!
- Fat Bride to Be

 
Blissfully married since August 4th, 2007
Hoping for our first little miracle!
Post #11008
Posted 4/11/2006 11:52:12 PM


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NatalieP (4/11/2006)
Ok here's the deal.
My mother's been on my case about my weight for about 5 years... granted I have gained a lot of weight, but still!
She and my father are paying for the majority of my wedding, however, she is now continually saying "if you don't lose weight, there is not going to be a wedding!"
Is anyone else going through this?
I cannot afford to pay for my own wedding, so that's not an option.
I would love to lose the weight too, but I feel this added pressure that is unnecessary.

Please help me!
- Fat Bride to Be

Natalie .. tell the woman to lay off. Adding pressure and making comments wont help the weight come off any faster.  I cant stand when ppl do that to an over weight person. 

How dare she say that there wont be a wedding if you dont lose weight? Did your FH say this to her? Does he even think like that? If he doesnt care, get him to tell your mom to lay off and that he loves you no matter what.

Hugs !!

MrsMtobe

~Live and let live ~

Mod Squad Moderator

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.

To understand a mother's love, bear your own children.

Mother is the name for God on the lips& in the hearts of little children.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Mrs. M and loving it!!!

Post #11023
Posted 4/11/2006 11:57:47 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/17/2008 7:27:36 PM
Posts: 160, Visits: 1,587
NatalieP (4/11/2006)
Ok here's the deal.
My mother's been on my case about my weight for about 5 years... granted I have gained a lot of weight, but still!
She and my father are paying for the majority of my wedding, however, she is now continually saying "if you don't lose weight, there is not going to be a wedding!"
Is anyone else going through this?
I cannot afford to pay for my own wedding, so that's not an option.
I would love to lose the weight too, but I feel this added pressure that is unnecessary.

Please help me!
- Fat Bride to Be

 

Ok lard-a s s. lol  So what's really

going on here?  Why is it that you

have been putting on this weight

for the past five years? You obviously

aren't oblivious to it.  Are you happy

about your current appearance?  If

not, then just how unhappy are YOU?

 

I think your mom really has your

best interests at heart here. She has

seen you struggling to a degree but

she hasn't seen any firm commitment

coming from you to try and modify

your lifestyle.  In my opinion, she is

now at a loss on how she can help

motivate you to lose the weight she

knows you should lose to be healthy

and to look your very best on your

wedding day. Therefore, she has

decided to blackmail you with the

wedding, in the hopes that you will

come to terms with this problem and

actually try to do something about

it.

 

Don't blame her. Don't be angry. She

is on your side and obviously loves

you. However, the decision to

actually do this must come from

inside you. The day you stand

naked in front of a full length mirror

and tell yourself that you don't want

to look like this anymore is the day

you will find the strength to put

yourself into the hands of pros who

can help you.  It isn't easy.  Losing

weight is one of the toughest things

to do because we all want rapid but

easy weight loss.  That isn't safe nor

is it wise.  It took you years to put

those bulges, rolls and jiggly areas

onto your body and you should spend

months taking them off. 

 

It's all about changing what you eat, 

how you eat and weight training

combined with cardio.  Anything less

is a recipe for disaster. There are no

magic bullets here. Just hard work

and commitment.  Good luck.

 

EL

 Some people are like Slinkies...

 

Not really good for anything, but

they still bring a smile to your

face when you push them down a

flight of stairs.

 

Post #11028
Posted 4/12/2006 12:06:00 AM


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EL I agree with almost everything you said .. however except for this part:

Therefore, she has

decided to blackmail you with the

wedding, in the hopes that you will

come to terms with this problem and

actually try to do something about

it.

 

That just isnt right!! Blackmailing a person will not motivate them to do anything, least of all to lose weight.  If natalie's FH has no issues with her weight (which at this point we don't know if he does or doesnt) then why should her mother be pressuring her to lose weight?

MrsMtobe

~Live and let live ~

Mod Squad Moderator

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.

To understand a mother's love, bear your own children.

Mother is the name for God on the lips& in the hearts of little children.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Mrs. M and loving it!!!

Post #11035
Posted 4/12/2006 12:16:31 AM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:54:44 PM
Posts: 526, Visits: 2,491
You know what?  You need to lose weight for you.  Not for your mum.  Not for your FH.  I'm sorry, but these two seem to be awfully shallow and judgemental of you.  Have you ever put them in their places, or have you let them treat you like this?  You don't deseve it, Natalie!  I have seen your photo and you are not fat.  You are a very pretty girl.  These people are so toxic!  Please take care of yourself.

hugs and kisses

 

-christine 

 

 Married September 2nd 2006

First baby due March 2009

 
Post #11042
Posted 4/12/2006 12:47:48 AM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/22/2008 2:43:16 PM
Posts: 343, Visits: 557
Talk about unnecessary stress. I think your mother is projecting her negative body issues she feels about herself perhaps onto you which is so wrong. Have you said to her that love is unconditional and your FH propsed to you the way you are? If you want to loose a little weight before your wedding or before your next birthday or whenever, do it for you. And tell your mom to stop threatening you as that is cruel. Don't be afraid to say what you are feeling and use words that adequately reflect your feeling. My mom once said to me that my FH would never propse until I stopped smoking and lost 20 pounds. Well, I stopped smoking, Fh propsed..not for that reason obviously and since being engaged, I have lost weight through diet and exercise and still have 20 to loose but I am doing it for me. I reminder her about what she said to me and how much it hurt my feelings just recently and I told her that it is really sad that a mother would say such a thing to a child and that when I do have children, I would make sure never to say such a thing. My mom has battled her yo-yo weight for a long time and these are her issues and maybe your moms, not yours or mine. Hugs to you Natalie and please don't be crazy. If you are anything like me, you may loose weight from stress alone.

JJF

~Finally Mrs. Williambug~

Post #11077
Posted 4/12/2006 1:08:18 AM