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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/5/2006 5:06:37 PM
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| I have a bridesmaid that is stressing me out. After the shower she felt compelled to bad mouth alot of the people in my wedding party (the other bridesmaids, grooms brother). I listened to her vent with an understanding ear like I do most times. However because she was dissing my family, future family and other friends it's not so easy to be her understanding ear. I really don't know why she has done this. I really feel that she is the problem since her reasoning sounded ridiculous and then when I heard that the day she was complaining about all these other people she was going through personal problems herself. I feel that she is taking it out on other people in the wedding party. Quit honestly alot people have also approached me about her behaviour and how rude she was and how people felt they were walking on egg shells and she hurt peoples feelings. I am worried about how she will act and treat other people in the wedding party at the wedding. The way she is acting is really immature in the sense of saying to me, "you never had problems with my wedding party" (like if I did I would ever tell a bride....sure there were things but do you think I would honestly say something about someone friends and family), "I guess I am here for you and it's your day and I don't have to have anyting to do with this people afterwards" (this just makes me think that she is just gonig to be rude to people like she was). I did listen to what she was saying and I don't think she had a leg to stand on. Saying so and so is weird, blah blah blah took over this part when it was mine, so so so was mean to this person, I have never liked this person because of something they did 15 years ago. She is even stressing me out with telling me that I need to be spending mroe time with her. I DON"T have alot of time. I want to talk to her about this however there is a side of me that feels guilty doing so because she has been there for me in other ways. I just feel if I don't say soemthing she will continue to walk on me or treat people poorly. And believe that she is in the right for doing so. Ahhhhhhh.....I knew she was demoted from MOH in one wedding party to a BM because of her not getting along with anyone in that wedding party. She stressed that bride out and now they don't ever talk anymore. I feel like maybe I should ask her not to be in it. That I will pay for the dress and any expense she has incurred. However I just think that our friendship would be ruined by that. I know that after the wedding I will definitly be taking a break from this friendship. I can't believe how needy and insecure she is....and I am finding it annoying.
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 9:33:23 AM
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| Boy do we have the same one? lol My wedding is small and casual so we are just going with a MOH and BM. So far she has done nothing but bitch. She has not bought a dress gone shopping,planning etc.She did mention a bach. party once but nothing.p.s. I am her boss and it a good possibility that she is going to get canned before the wedding.OMG just what a bride wants lol. I personally am hanging on in hopes that she steps down (she can't stand my FH's BM). it all comes down to how much you want the friendship.If you can ignore her and not let her ruin YOUR day then let it go, if she continues to be a B***h and stressing you and family,etc out then talk to her.Sometimes it just isn't worth it! My MOH is going through a rough 7 years(lol) and I am trying to be understanding but it will only go so far. I won't even drive down to the east coast with her as I would leave her 1/2 way there lol.Don't let her ruin your day!! If you feel it is going to then stop it now.We already have enough stress lol.BE HAPPY WHEN YOU MARRY THE MAN YOU LOVE!!!!
The old ball and "chachi" chain
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/31/2006 2:10:40 PM
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| you can't change her behavior without offending her. if you tell her you think she's behaving badly she won't take it well, no matter how nice you try to be. no one likes to be told they are acting irrationally or rude. unless you want to jeapardize your relationship with her by booting her off the wedding party i think about all you really can do is limit her access to other people as much as possible. make excuses - oh so and so can't make it today so its just us- or whatever. do some things with just her and other things with the others. there is no reason why everyone in your wedding party has to be present for every step of the way. and at the wedding, if she's rude to anyone, then no one will bother hanging around her. they'll find more pleasant company. most of the focus will be on you anyway and she'll mostly be ignored.
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/9/2008 3:49:24 PM
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I think Mombride's got it pegged! If you can limit her access to the bridal party, etc, then that might be the most conflict-free way to deal with the situation. If she continues to give you trouble (ie finding out you've left her out of a particular wedding situation, etc) you may be in for an earful and that's a situation you'd have to be prepared for.
If she were to act up on your wedding day, I'm sure the rest of your bridal party would step in and take care of the situation for you. That's what friends are for!! (to gang up on other friends, of course  )...
But then again, if you'd rather not deal with the stress of her until your wedding day, perhaps cutting ties might be your only answer. I've had to do that a few times with friends (non wedding related) because of the stress they put on me and my life. Is having a friend around you that stresses you really a friend? You may have to ask yourself some of these kinds of questions and see what your answers navigate towards...
Good luck! Let us know what you decide!!
~GOT HITCHED!!~I just can't seem to leave CB!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/27/2007 8:30:23 AM
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| i would pink slip her! I would not want that type of person making me all stressed out on events leading up to my day and possibly on the day itself. NO WAY! Talk to her. Tell her how YOU are feeling. Let her be the ears this time. You might be able to save your friendship and your wedding party. i dunno.. talk to her first, if she just doesn't get it, fire her and find another friend that is more supportive and understanding.... why would you want someone like that as a friend?
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Group: Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 9:30:51 PM
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mombride (4/12/2006)
you can't change her behavior without offending her. if you tell her you think she's behaving badly she won't take it well, no matter how nice you try to be. no one likes to be told they are acting irrationally or rude. unless you want to jeapardize your relationship with her by booting her off the wedding party i think about all you really can do is limit her access to other people as much as possible. make excuses - oh so and so can't make it today so its just us- or whatever. do some things with just her and other things with the others. there is no reason why everyone in your wedding party has to be present for every step of the way. and at the wedding, if she's rude to anyone, then no one will bother hanging around her. they'll find more pleasant company. most of the focus will be on you anyway and she'll mostly be ignored. good advice!!
MrsMtobe ~Live and let live ~ Mod Squad Moderator The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
 Mrs. M and loving it!!!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 8:21:32 AM
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mombride (4/12/2006)
you can't change her behavior without offending her. if you tell her you think she's behaving badly she won't take it well, no matter how nice you try to be. no one likes to be told they are acting irrationally or rude. unless you want to jeapardize your relationship with her by booting her off the wedding party i think about all you really can do is limit her access to other people as much as possible. make excuses - oh so and so can't make it today so its just us- or whatever. do some things with just her and other things with the others. there is no reason why everyone in your wedding party has to be present for every step of the way. and at the wedding, if she's rude to anyone, then no one will bother hanging around her. they'll find more pleasant company. most of the focus will be on you anyway and she'll mostly be ignored. Good Advice!!!
Jules 
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