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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/12/2006 6:13:27 PM
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At my brother's wedding, he and his wife-to-be invited a bunch of extended family and people they hadn't heard from in years, "just to be polite." As they did this, they made a point of saying, "We invited them, but we hope they don't show up."
Am I crazy to think that if you don't want someone there, they shouldn't recieve an invite? My mother keeps saying that sending the obligatory invite is the *nice* thing to do, but I just don't feel right about it. A wedding is a time to have your nearest and dearest with you...not some cousin who couldn't care less about you or your big day, and is just there for the food. Can anyone shed some light?
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/17/2007 5:21:54 PM
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| I totally agree with you. We're keeping our guest list as small as possible. I just want to be with our close friends and family. I don't think it's rude. I think you should be allowed to invite only the people you really want to see. Everybody knows that our wedding is going to be rather intimate, and I have no problem telling people that "we are really sorry we couldn't include all our friends in our celebration plans". I was thinking that if we're inviting friends from a certain group but not all of them, the ones that didn't make the list will get a phone call from us to explain the situation. It's a tough job, but I would rather be told that there wasn't enough room to invite everybody, than to hear that people have received their invitation but not me... What do you think?
__________________________ KiKi - Sept. 30, 2006
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/3/2008 8:16:29 AM
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wow.. if someone suggested to me that i should invite cousin blah to my wedding who i've never met or have nothing to do with, I would not be impressed. And I would tell them that to their face. I just don't get some people these days
Jules 
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/31/2006 2:10:40 PM
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| why do we do it? because we have to we have "courtesy invites" too. but what i consider a "courtesy" invite is someone we genuinely want to invite but don't expect to come because of distance. then there are the "obligatory invites". those people that you really don't like and have to invite because if you don't you mother will still scorn you and villify you for it on her deathbed many years from now. but making a point of telling people that "i'm inviting so and so but really don't want them to come" is just plain speaking before thinking. comments like that will get back to those guests.
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 3/14/2008 11:51:26 AM
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| I agree, mombride! Both sets of parents were great when we asked them for their guest lists and kept them very reasonable; as a result, there aren't going to be many guests at our wedding that we don't know very well. But if my mom had asked me to invite someone I didn't know well who she felt strongly about coming, I'd have done so to make her happy (within reason, of course; FH and I are paying!). But even if part of me hoped they didn't come, NEVER would I say that aloud for fear of it getting back to the guests and hurting people's feelings. I think most weddings have some courtesy invites; the key is to never let anyone know who the "courtesy" invites are! 
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/28/2008 11:03:10 AM
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| There's a woman I know that I don't want at my wedding, but if I don't invite her and she finds out about it, she'll make mine and my family's life miserable. It's easier to tolerate her presence for 1 special day then to tolerate her complaining for a decade. I'm much closer to some relatives than others, but it's completely inappropriate of me to invite one of my mother's sisters and not the other sister just because the relationship is different. My grandmother would be horrified, and neither my mother, my aunts, or anyone else with ears would never hear the end of it. Sometimes it's worth it to keep the family peace. This is when a bride learns that her wedding isn't just for her and the groom... it's for her family, too.
Mrs. AlanaBanana Alana & Erik ...the perfect pair! December 30th, 2006
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/31/2006 2:10:40 PM
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| my mom was the opposite smirle, she didn't want me inviting anyone from her family or longtime friends because either she wasn't talking to them or because she's embarrased that we chose to put off our wedding until we could better afford it and put having a family first before a wedding. oh how shameful we are, living together and having kids and leaving the formalities for when we were ready for them and able to do it without having to live in a car to pay for it. if she had her way we'd just sign papers in a jps office and tell no one, lol.
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