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Are my in-laws being unfair? VENT! Expand / Collapse
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Posted 4/18/2006 5:45:15 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/19/2007 2:53:43 PM
Posts: 21, Visits: 664
It might not be fair.  It might not be nice.  But they don't owe you a penny of their money.  They might have had more money to spare when your FH's siblings got married.  They might just think that because you're getting so much help from your parents that they don't need to chip in.  Quite frankly, if they want to be inequitable and unfair with their money and how they treat their kids that's their business.  Your FH has no right to tell his parents what to do with their money.  They don't owe your FH anything towards your wedding. 

Your FH has every right to tell his parents he's hurt that they helped his sibling and not him.  But they also have every right to say they're still not contributing.  Just be glad with what you do have already and enjoy your big day.

Post #17726
Posted 4/18/2006 6:51:27 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2008 10:13:10 PM
Posts: 217, Visits: 1,743
I do think that what you give to one child you ought to give to an other.  So in that regard, I do think they are being unfair.  That said, you can't know the full situation.  There may be things going on behind the scenes that mean that the money simply is not there.  And you have to realize that they don't actually OWE you anything.  You do not have money due and payable to you regarless of who else got what.  If this really bothers your FH it should be him who talks to his parents, if I were you I would stay out of it completely.

___________________________________________


*~*~* Married at Disney World - MAY 21st, 2007 *~*~*

http://www.disneyweddings.go.com/williamsandhamblin


Post #17801
Posted 4/18/2006 6:51:50 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/17/2008 7:27:36 PM
Posts: 160, Visits: 1,587
igottajlo (4/18/2006)
[quote][b]

So to answer your question ... do I think you're being nuts?  Yup I do.  I think it's completely unreasonable and almost selfish you're expecting others to pick up your wedding tab.

 

Iggy,

       Methinks you miss the point. My take on it

 is that the OP is just seeking the same deal

that her FH's siblings got, nothing more.  She

gets the feeling that her FH's parents have

looked at the financial support that her

parents have given and decided that their

support isn't necessary.

 

Sorry, but that's not their decision to make.

Their son is getting married, just as their

daughter and other son did previously. If they

gave their other two children , say $2000.00

each as a wedding gift, then this son is equally

entitled regardless of how much support his

future wife is getting from her parents.  She

isn't looking for his parents to pay the tab

here. All she wants is an equitable deal.  

 

I think that her FH is entitled to the same

amount of money that his parents gave to his

brother and sister.  What's unreasonable

about that?

 

EL

 Some people are like Slinkies...

 

Not really good for anything, but

they still bring a smile to your

face when you push them down a

flight of stairs.

 

Post #17802
Posted 4/18/2006 7:15:26 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 1/13/2008 6:44:15 PM
Posts: 107, Visits: 373
I strongly disagree with most people on this one.  Life is unfair. get over it.  You and your parents have enough money to buy what ever you need and want. stop worrying about how much more his parents are spending on fh's brothers wedding.  I think you sound a little greedy.  you should be happy with what your parents could do for you and not want or accept anything from his.  I myself would ask his mother to lend you something to cover the something borrowed part of the day.  You have enough money why do you feel it is unfair that they are not giving you any. how much do you want.

 

See, i told you i feel quite differently about this one.   I say get over it and count your financial blessings. geesh

those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

Post #17825
Posted 4/18/2006 7:22:20 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/12/2008 9:24:03 PM
Posts: 23, Visits: 479
sometimes parents help there kids in different ways and i think it's impossible to compare. so to say each child should be treated fairly is a difficult thing. my parents paid for my education (which they didn't have to do and i'm grateful for) my brother didn't go to school so when the time came and he was trying to buy a house they helped him out.

it's like when we were little kids and we looked at eachother's gifts to see who got the most. I may have got more gifts then my brother (or vice versa) but the cost of his gifts equaled mine my mom always made sure of that.
Post #17830
Posted 4/18/2006 7:30:54 PM






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Last Login: 1/13/2008 6:44:15 PM
Posts: 107, Visits: 373
oh yeah....and El......I pmd you

those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

Post #17838
Posted 4/18/2006 7:37:07 PM






Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/27/2007 7:44:10 AM
Posts: 131, Visits: 148
I agree totally that you should do for one what you do for the other, but some family's would rather play favourites.

Jenn
Marrying my Soulmate
 May 12, 2007