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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/22/2008 2:43:16 PM
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| A wedding can be a huge financial undertaking as everyone here knows. Is it possible that your FH's parents don't realize that your parents are not footing the entire bill? I don't think it is fair about your FILs giving to two children and not your FH but I learned growing up that when it comes to money, timing is everything. Both my brother and my sister got cars when they were able to drive...did I?? NO! My brother got his car while my parents were married and they divorced when I was ready to drive and my sister's father bought her a car so what can you do? I felt slighted when it came to this issue but if I wanted a car, I had to buy it myself and I did. Maybe FH's parents are in a financially tight situation and don't have the money to donate but I understand your frustration. My case is reversed and FILs are donating quite a bit to our wedding money wise and my mom is not. She did however give us our honeymoon as a wedding gift so it all works out well. End of the day, you have to be willing to pay for the wedding yourself and any money that comes your way is the added bonus. That is the attitude we took and it seems to be working. Best of luck to you! JJF 
~Finally Mrs. Williambug~ 
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Group: Forum Members
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I'm absolutely floored at how rude (and jealous) deloresdoe is sounding right now!!!! It's obvious that they don't NEED the money; but could you help but feel that you got the short end of the stick in that situation???? umm... I doubt it.
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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Group: Forum Members
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| Fascha, while I hear what your saying.....I think delorisdoe makes a good point. The OP sounds like an "entitlement" post. It's THEIR wedding. Whether one set of parents is well off or not, they (bridal couple) in reality is entitled to nothing unless the parents WANT to help out. Besides the FH in this scenario is too scared to even say anything so I think it's "too bad for them". If the problem/issue is with FH's parents, it's HIS responsibilty to step up and say something, not hers. Whether or not he likes the confrontation. Myself, you would NEVER catch me confronting my parents about why they have not helped, that in itself is completely rude and WAY out of line. It's their wedding, they pay for it unless help is OFFERED, not DEMANDED or made to feel GUILTY for not assisting!
Married September 10, 2005 Expecting our lil' Monkey - February 5, 2009 Before you were conceived, you were wanted. Before you are born, you are loved.
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Group: Forum Members
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I agree, approaching them is probably a bit... forgive me... *ta.... no.. can't do it... it's a less than great idea! lol
It just sounds like the Groom's parents are taking advantage of the Bride's parents and I guess I would feel a litte weird if that happened to me is all. It's obvious that they're not hard-up for it; but wouldn't you feel weird if your mom helped your brother and sister in a big way... and then just didn't help you out at all???
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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Group: Forum Members
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fascha (4/19/2006)
but wouldn't you feel weird if your mom helped your brother and sister in a big way... and then just didn't help you out at all???Excellent question!! No, I don't feel weird....it happens in our family all the time. My parents don't have a scoreboard or keep mental notes on who gets what or how much. It is based purely on our individual situations or circumstances. Parents want their children to grow up to be individuals, hence, they should be treated as such. I do not buy this "one gets it, so should the rest......", it's silly and I think it's silly that people buy into it. It creates the exact problem the OP is dealing with and it's nonsense. Nope, I don't feel weird about siblings getting different things, gifts, monetary gifts, etc....as you can see, it causes family problems and I think you'd all agree that families can have enough problems without the added burden of pouting lips.
Married September 10, 2005 Expecting our lil' Monkey - February 5, 2009 Before you were conceived, you were wanted. Before you are born, you are loved.
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Group: Forum Members
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BB I can understand that. Everyone has a right to do whatever they chose even if it's different from one child to the next definately, BUT... let's say the couple had a child and CHOSE to spend a lot more weekend at one set of grandparent's over another... it's totally withing their right to do so; but I bet it would hurt the grandparents who don't get all the extra visits. I guess what I'm trying to say, is if you have the money and you can help the same way; if only to avoid feelings being hurt; why not??? you know?
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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