Now, I come from abusive parents, and I left home at age 14, and have been providing for myself ever since, without help from ANYONE - DH however, comes from a loving home with parents who, although not very well off financially, try to help him and his sister out whenever they can.  DH is very appreciative of this, and would never DARE to ask his parents for money, or assume that they are going to give him money, and there have been times when we have been in a financial bind (when he was laid off work for example) when they have offered help and we refused it. 

But, when DH's sister was married, years ago, his parents contributed x amount of dollars towards her wedding.  A few years ago, before DH and I were even engaged, his parents came to him and said, "listen, we gave your sister this much money when she got married, and we want you to know that that same amount is set aside for you to do with what you will."  So, we gratefully used that money to put towards a down payment on a house -  a house we would not have today if not for that help from his parents.  Of course, when we did get married, his parents didn't contribute money towards the wedding, because we had already used the amount they might have contributed towards the house.  DH's parents are very, very careful about making sure they are EQUAL with both of their children.  His grandmother is the same way (DH and his sister are her only grandchildren).  While it is sort of known that we would receive the same as anything his sister receives (most recently money to put towards baby furniture) we still never assume, even though in a conversation with his mother one day she said to me "you know the crib will be paid for right?", and I said, "well, no, I didn't know that".  And she said, "well, H___'s crib was paid for, so of course yours will be too".   

I think that DH and I will make sure that we are just as equal with out children (if we have more than this one) in an effort to make sure that one doesn't feel favoured over another.  But our children will also be taught not to EXPECT to be helped out and to know how to take care of themselves and be independent.

Sorry for the rambling.

This is exactly the attitude I have an issue with.......it's extremely childish!!

And yes, I have 2 siblings as well, and believe me, I'm not handed the same as the other two, and should I ever have the nerve to pull the tantrum of "well... why did they do that for brother 1 and brother 2 and not us?", I'd expect a smack in the mouth and rightly so!

EXACTTTTTTTTLY

 
  IGGY  
Rachael arrived July 2nd!!!

Nobody's having a tantrum; I already said I would NEVER say anything, but that doesn't mean I would be able to help how I FEEL.  You would have to be pretty naiive to think that there aren't going to be hard feelings. 

 

 www.amandaandvince.com 
_{^{support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!}}

I agree with this point.

I don't know, I kind of see her point - I don't think a sibling has a right to throw a tantrum over it, or even question it out loud to his or her parents, but I could still understand such sibling having the thought as to how it is a bit unfair.    In my opinion, they would have to suck it up, but they still have the right to think it is unfair.