I think the fact that her parents are helping quite a bit and giving the house really makes a difference in my opinion.  If they didn't pay for anything or give the house then maybe they are entitled to feel a little upset about it because then their need would be equal to what his brother and sister's need was.  But, it isn't her parents or his parents responsibility to pay for anything these days.  It is the bride and grooms responsibility.

If her parents "chose" to pay for some of the wedding and the house then it was their gift to her and her fh.  Nobody made them do it.  The are not obligated to do it and his parents are not taking advantage of it. 

His parents should give them a wedding gift also but what and how much they "choose" to give is up to them.  They are not obligated to pay for the wedding.  They are all adults here and no longer little children who's parents must foot the bill for anything they want.

I think the situation is more of whether they need the help or not.  No they don't need the help - so, a nice wedding gift is appropriate.

I agree with another post, be happy with what you have. Be thankful, be appreciative, and graciously accept the fact that since you are well off you don't need the extra money.  When you keep wanting more it becomes greed.  No, parents can't always give the same amount of help, money, gifts to all their children all the time.  Life just doesn't work that way.

If two children were living out on their own and one was hard up and couldn't buy groceries and their parents gave them money which they didn't expect them to pay back should the other be jealous and expect some money too? Of course not. 

In my family we all help each other out.  We don't count who's getting what and how much.  My mom raised 5 kids and things we not always equal as cicumstances change over the years.  She loved us all that's what counted.  That's all that should count.  Money is just money you can't take it with when you die.  I know I am off topic here but I am just trying to make a point that people are never happy with what they have.

thanks, i think that is what I said. in a way off and rudeish type way.  If they dont need it why should they get it. 

those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

but why is it considered taking advantage of.  If chrissi is so woried about her poor parents than should she not just refuse their generosity.  They paid for fh education is that his parents fault as well.

I will say again there could be alot more than we know.  My dad to this day will not give one of  my brothers cash, loan or otherwise.  They have one hell of a good reason not to but they have not ever told his girlfriend why.  his girlfriend could think that my dad is wrong selfish and unfair...if she only knew the real reason she'd understand.

those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

back to my very first response.......

That was my initial question......when this sibling received a monetary gift/assistance with some of the wedding costs, was this done prior to the wedding or as an actual wedding gift given on the day of the wedding??  This makes a big difference in my eyes. 

My Mother gave us a ton of cash to help out during the course of our planning and preparation, DH parents didn't lift a finger or offer a dime.  While at our hotel after the wedding, we opened our cards, in one was $1000 from DH's father........something to think about.

 www.amandaandvince.com 
_{^{support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!}}

sure...if someone could please find the law book that explains to all parents how they must pay for their childrens wedding or education.  it is nice when they do.  this is the rest of her life she should let it go.