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bella there's nothing wrong with that; I'm not crazy about a stranger traipsing through my house while I'm not there... but I would rather have a spotless house than worry about what his parents might think of me (cause they think that it's a waste of money and that you are a lazy slob if you can't do it yourself after you work a 50 hour week and your FH worked a 70... sorry! lol) Anyways... it's not for everyone! Lol
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/15/2006 4:22:05 PM
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Bella, its not for everyone. I guess I'm used to it because my mom has one (yes, even though she stays home.) I guess I am spoiled because I don't do that stuff now and I'm not looking forward to doing it when I get married. For me I'd rather deal with the inconvenience of someone in my home than have to clean it myself (yes, I'm lazy LOL), but its a personal thing.
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| me either, but I am finding that this is actually a GOOD THING, cause when I ask FH about doing the laundry (properly!) he says "I don't know how to do that" and I just come right back at him with "Neither do I! We could learn how to do it TOGETHER" *clenched teeth and all* lol No excuses!!! 
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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fascha (4/21/2006)
me either, but I am finding that this is actually a GOOD THING, cause when I ask FH about doing the laundry (properly!) he says "I don't know how to do that" and I just come right back at him with "Neither do I! We could learn how to do it TOGETHER" *clenched teeth and all* lol No excuses!!! LOL LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
Our bambola joined us 08 08 08
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/31/2006 2:10:40 PM
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| i think you just answered your own question work is one thing - around the home entirely another matter. no matter how hard working a man is on the job that has nothing to do with what he'll be like at home. i've lived with a few before finding fh and learned a few things: 1. the best man around the house is one who's lived on his own looking after himself (no mommy or gf to do everything for him) 2. like dks, they will take the path of least resistence and least amount of effort on their part 3. they learn what they lived and grew up with. if dad sloughed himself off on the couch leaving mom to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, etc ... thats the only thing he knows and thats what he'll do. 4. they are retrainable but it will be hard work and take time, discipline, and a lot of effort. look to the home life he's used to. if mom always did everything for him and he never even had to worry about putting his own dishes in the sink/dishwasher, pick up his own underwear, wipe his own butt ... that's what you are getting. if he had to do chores to help out around the house and clean up after himself then he'll be much more helpful around the house and less of a lazy oaf expecting things to just somehow do themselves. you should be talking about expectations before the wedding. what exactly you expect from him as far as pulling his own weight in the household and how to divide things evenly. make sure he knows going in that you expect him to help out. things like taking turns making dinner and the other washes the dishes, etc. if you have to, write a chore chart like you would if he's a little boy. start retraining the moment you move in together otherwise you'll find yourself being more his mommy than his partner. there is nothing more pathetic than a man saying he doesn't know how to fold a shirt, or cook a pot of mac & cheese, or telling you that he really would help more but can't because he doesn't know what to do while you stand there staring at an extra dog huddled in the corner because the floor so badly needs sweeping, dirty dishes piled on the table, emtpy beer bottles, his gross dirty socks on the kitchen floor (or worse on the table or counter), garbage on the counter - and thinking "so what?! you can't SEE all this mess?"
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Group: Forum Members
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fascha (4/19/2006)
Not only do they have to be done more often... they're more time consuming... that list will take up the better part of the day, when it takes about 30 minuts to mow the lawn and 2 minutes to take out the trash. I wrote out a list similar to the one I posted and FH and I went through it and did a "you pick one, I pick one" and I'm a little pi$$ed about how that turned out since after the snow/garbage/lawn were taken he declared he needed a shower and left the room!i would have said "ditto" - he picked two (since snow/lawn are seasonal opposite each other they count as one chore) i'd pick two taking about equal amount of time, go have my "shower" - come back, hand him the list and tell him its his turn to pick again.
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