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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/21/2008 10:26:02 AM
Posts: 154,
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Okay. So Lets start from the top (I'll try and be as brief as I can.)- FH Bought a house in 2002 with his mom (She couldn't afford a house on her own, and he figured "Why not")
- FMIL got cancer, Recovered went back to work too soon.
- I met FH at the end of 2003
- FMIL started feeling effects of going back too soon, and started having to miss work because she was sick and started living at house almost for free
- I moved into FH house in may 2005
- FMIL began disliking me because apparently I was taking her son away from her. It was THEN that it became ABUNDANTLY clear that she had been using him as a surrogate husband, using him as a piggy bank, and over all demanding that he sacrifice his youth to entertain her expensive life style.
- FMIL Became so sick that she was put onto disability, got in worse mood.
- Original plan was FMIL was to move into the next house (Once 5 years is up on mortgage Aug. 2007) into a basement appartment for free.
- She began manipulating and blackmailing FH with the future sale of the house (This is why I decided to go to school for legal! She doesn't have a legal leg to stand on) and just over all forcing us into bad situations ie. FH and I are only allowed to be and live in our bedroom and basement, and she has run of the entire rest of the house and can enter our domains ANY TIME SHE PLEASES, and then she starts complaining to FSIL & FBIL that she now feels uncomfortable in her own house and that FH and I are evil and being disrespectful of her space (Yet when I'm cooking dinner I am forced to sit on the stairs because I am not allowed to sit in diningroom or living room) But I digress...
- Just today she informed us that she is NOT moving with us to next house. I was so excited at first and then realized she had to have something else up her sleeve
- FBIL had his wife (FH's Sister) email ME telling me that he wasn't comfortable being in FH's Groomsmen because of the situation with FH & FMIL's House (I realize I don't own this house but HELLO! I LIVE HERE TOO)
- FSIL isn't very clear if she was being cautious or if she was hinting for me to pink slip her because she said "if you do not wish to have me as part of your wedding I will understand. Please let me know."
- ANOTHER of my BM's (We'll call her Frat Girl) has approached my MOH with concerns that I was asking too much of her asking her to help with our J&J, She was then surprised to learn of this mystic thing called a "Bridal Shower", and How Greedy I must be to make her pay for her own dress and then ettiquette says that she should still buy a wedding gift.
- 'Frat girl' then made it clear that a frat party was more important than something to do with my wedding including our Jack and Jill
- I would like to Pink slip 'frat girl', but my MOH is reluctant because she is a long term friend and is worried she may cause serious problems later on
- MOH also acknowledges that I can't really Pink slip FSIL because she has been very polite with me and I don't really want to either because I WANT her in my Bridal party, but I fear that if I don't Pink slip her and kick "frat girl", and then FSIL bails because she no longer feels comfortable because her husband isn't involved, I'm then short a bridesmaid...
GAH!! Please Can someone PLEASE give me some oppinions on what i should do here... I'm So stressed right now that i'm on the verge of tears all throughout the day, my Fh is ready to kick his mom to the curb, and snap on his Sister and BIL because they've been taking FMIL's word for truth (She is constantly bad mouthing us) and haven't even taken a SINGLE MOMENT to ask us what OUR side of the story is... Please... I need some sanity.
------   Honourary Farrar
Got Married on March 3rd, 2007 I got my Snow, My Wonderful Husband, and a whole bottle of Champagne to myself. What a FANTASTIC Night!!!!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 3/31/2008 8:47:11 AM
Posts: 144,
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Sorry I don't have any smart words for your here but I really hope it all works out for you. Just try to stay calm and positive
Cheers, Julia!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/22/2006 11:06:36 PM
Posts: 36,
Visits: 233
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How do you really feel about these people(when your not mad or frustrated?) Do you really enjoy you "pink" girls company? If you do and she has always been a friend then the decision should be easy. Maybe she doesn't understand the etiquitte of weddings (or for that matter can't afford it)people have many reason for acting certain ways( maybe she has lots on her plate right now as well-not the point but still) As for your future mother-in-law....I don't really like to give advice but get the *uck out of there(LOL) really enough is enough and your adults being treated worse than a dog.(thing is your allowing it why?? I do wish you all the best, and fell free to vent we all need to do it sometimes, hope I helped a bit
http://www.canadianbride.com/pookie1001/165 invited 125 coming to party  40 could'nt make it...(sucks to be them)
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/12/2008 8:02:24 PM
Posts: 51,
Visits: 635
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Frat girl, I would give a bit of time to. Just let her sort herself out. Have your MOH talk to her a little, just to clear the air if nothing else.
Your FILs, now they are the problem of your FH. Tell him to resolve the issues with his brother and sister QUICKLY as they can ruin all sorts of relationships and futures. They need to sit down and realise that there are two sides to every story. Vent your frustrations with them.
Other than that, I'd say buy a bottle of wine or go out for beers with friends. Take a weekend off and go camping.
And good luck!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/21/2008 10:26:02 AM
Posts: 154,
Visits: 1,004
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| OMG!!! This fiasco just NEVER ENDS! So FH and I sat down that night (I literally wrote my first post here IMMEDIATELY after this began so I hadn't had time to really think it all through) and we discussed our options and his Sister sounded like she still wanted in the party so we decided "Well we already have on girl on the groom's side, what harm will it be to have FSIL on the grooms side as well." So I spent almost 4 hours composing an email (That's how we're communicating) that was more than polite informing her that we wanted to move her to the men's side. This also allowed us to invite the girl we really want in our party in and keep our numbers alike. So We had to go to our first planning session with the Groomsman last night for our Jack and Jill, and I was AMAZED, the guys were more into planning than my girls were. But that's beside the point. FSIL had written us an email in that time and informed us that she was backing out as well now because she thought her and her brother were closer than this. (WHAT THE HELL?) and that that would be the weekend of her return to work (She on Mat leave right now) so it would be hard for her to get the day off... (Uhm, our wedding is on a Saturday, and she does not work saturdays...) I honestly don't know what to think!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! There is some sort of BS going on in the background that neither FH or I have been made aware of, but it seems that FSIL, FBIL and FMIL fully expect us to know what is happening. I don't know what to do! I'm debating if I should post the emails (both sides, names replaced) so that I can get an outside view of this.... Because right now I think I am so livid that I'm not thinking straight or reading this correctly. If someone is so inclined to help me out in this let me know and I'll post the emails.... I REALLY need some help right now.....
------ Honourary Farrar Got Married on March 3rd, 2007 I got my Snow, My Wonderful Husband, and a whole bottle of Champagne to myself. What a FANTASTIC Night!!!!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:13:29 PM
Posts: 734,
Visits: 8,792
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I don't know what to say that can help you but I can give you the best piece of advice I know... DO NOT POST/WRITE ANYTHING on email. Email always can misconstrued. The tone of emails can be misinterepreted (usually as more harsh). I think the best thing you could do right now is sit down face to face (or at least on the phone) to find out what is going on. Or to say how you are feeling.
I'm a teacher and parents of my students often say things on email that they WOULD NEVER (and never actually do say) say face to face. People forget there is a person at the other end of the computer.
Not only that - if you do have legal issues with the house or whatever - the last thing you need is a paper trail of things you may have said in the heat of the moment coming back to haunt you.
Good luck and try to relax. Maybe you and fh should try to get away from that house for a few days!!
~ Married On July 22, 2006. ~  ~A MOMMY since Dec.21st and LOVING it!~
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