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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:58:37 PM
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| Ok girls, be completely honest with me here. I just got off the phone with my mom, we had this discussion about seven months ago and apparently there is still some misunderstanding. I am inviting all of my aunts and uncles to my wedding. My wedding is not going to be huge, and the guest list is maxed out at 90 people (capacity thing at our venue). I am not close to my mom's brothers and their wives, but I have to invite them otherwise the $#!t will hit the fan between my mother and myself, and possibly my grandmother too. ANYWAY, here is my dilemma. I have caved and will invite all aunts and uncles, however, I really DO NOT like six of my cousins on my mom's side to the point where I am refusing to have them at my wedding for my own personal dislike of them. My mom seems to think that this is going to cause a lot of animosity between her brothers and their wives and myself. Just to be stubborn, I have told her that I don't care. I really do care, not because I want to hold on to whatever relationship is there between my uncles and myself, but because I hate conflict and I don't want anybody being mad at me on my wedding day. For the record, none of these people know that I don't like them  Aside from me not liking them, there is no room on my guest list, I don't have the funds to invite them, and I would so much rather have my six co-workers at the wedding rather than these cousins that I don't like, but I can't invite them because of space constraints either. Am I being unreasonable? Should I be inviting them and hoping that they don't come? Where do you draw the line and how do you do it without being disrespectful?
Finally Mrs. Schmidt - August 26, 2006
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/29/2007 8:05:29 PM
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| I did not invite any cousins from my Dad's side. I have nothing in common with them, we don't see each other ever, and they have never met FH. My Dad was okay with it...I am still waiting to see if I get any negative feedback from Aunts and Uncles.... I will let you know. Really though I have decided that I don't want people at my wedding that I don't want at my wedding. I am getting more and more tough as the days go by (invites are mailed already) and if I was given one more week I could have taken about 20 people off FH side that neither of us care to have there. It's your day, choose to have those you love surround you...don't give in to the 'family' crap!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/8/2006 11:35:20 PM
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Hey, the same thing is going with me, on my father's side of the family I can't stand anyone, really don't want to invite any of them (including my grandmother). Anyhow lucky enough for me I am far enough away that I will be inviting them but none of them will be going, except for the one cousin I like. Plus by inviting them I will still get a present from them. Lucky for me, my dad told me that I don't have to invite any of them, so I am feeling all mature that I am going to send them invitations, and if they do choose to come then I will be nice, because I'll have to  . Just kidding, that's not the reason I will be inviting them, I will be doing it because although I do not like them, it would add more trouble to the family (aka between dad and grandma) then I would like on my shoulders.
June 30, 2007 Is my favorite day
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/28/2007 8:29:27 PM
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| i feel for you.... ultimately, there's no use trying to make everyone happy, especially if it ends up making you unhappy in the end. On my moms side, I didn't invite half of my aunts and only one of my cousins. On my dad's side, I invited all my aunts and uncles , but none of my cousins. If people don't understand that you can't afford it there's not much you can do about that. I totally understand wanting co-workers and friends to come more than family. how much do you have in common with someone you see once a year by obligation...lol. My aunt made up some BS reason not to come just because we aren't having kids at ours. I was bothered a bit at first, but in the end, i just decided that pettiness was not my game. good luck... and stick to your guns...
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Group: Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:06:25 PM
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| Well I think you answered your own issue here ... your reception venue has a capacity and that has been met. Unfortunately, not 1 more person can be added and you do not have to remove anyone from your list to accomodate these cousins. Keep the fact that you dislike them so much to yourself. When asked, just maintain that it is out of your hands and that the venue only holds 90 ppl and you have reached your max. Nor do you have to explain that your budget does not allow it. It's really that simple and cut & dried, yanno!
MrsMtobe ~Live and let live ~ Mod Squad Moderator The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
 Mrs. M and loving it!!!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 7:58:37 PM
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| Thanks guys, I guess I just wanted to hear that I wasn't being completely unreasonable. I didn't plan to tell anyone I didn't like them  that's just between my mom and myself right now (and will stay that way). I guess my mom's just peeved about the fact that I've invited everyone from my dad's side of the family down to the last cousin and not everyone from her side. When it all comes down to it though, I enjoy the company of my dad's side of the family. They're all older, more responsible, and more mature. The ones I'm not inviting from my mom's side are into drugs, are quite a bit younger, and have no sense of responsibility whatsoever. I will stick to my guns on this one and if a few of my aunts and uncles decide not to come over it, I think I'll actually be glad, because then I can invite my girlfriends from work. I would much more appreciate their company anyway. Thanks again for the support
Finally Mrs. Schmidt - August 26, 2006
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Group: Forum Members
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Hm.. well, I'm inviting my cousins from my dad side (all 3 of em), but on Dan's mum's side, we're only inviting the cousins that are of legal drinking age - otherwise we can't afford to do it. But as long as we say that we're having a smaller wedding, it will be fine. All you should have to say if that you don't have the room on the guest list. Why can't people understand that us engaged couples don't have all the money in the world.???
Jules | | | |