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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/11/2007 2:47:56 PM
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| FH and I are having a debate. His dad's name was not included on the invite (his folks are divorced, and he's not particularly close to him. FH sees him once a year, only because of his sister, and he is not contributing to the wedding - was not asked, did not offer). We are going up to see his dad for a visit in June. Question is: Should he let his dad know ahead of time that his name isn't on the invite, or should his dad wait until he gets the invite in the mail to find out? Whatcha think?
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Why not just use "together with their parents"? That solves the problem and people won't ask questions why the dad is being excluded. I think it's pretty hurtful to exclude him.... I guess if you're set on doing it this way at the very least I'd tell him in advance...
~ Married On July 22, 2006. ~  ~A MOMMY since Dec.21st and LOVING it!~
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According to etiquette books, trust me I love reading them, you only have to put parents names on the invites if they are paying for the wedding, or if you choose to. If you are choosing not to, then don't, it's your FH's choice right? If he was giving you money for the wedding, it would be proper to put his name on it though.
June 30, 2007 Is my favorite day
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Group: Forum Members
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| The invites are already printed up, and don't include his dad's name (this was FH's choice cause 1) he's not close to him, and 2) he is not contributing) The situation is now, whether to tell him about it now, or for him to find out when he receives the invite.
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| I'd wait until the invites were out .. if his dad questions it, then your FH can offer the explanation for the reasons behind his choice. However, it is up to your FH to address this should his dad question either one if you about it. His choice, now his responsibility to explain. Personally, I would have used "together with our parents" ... out of respect for his father .. after all, he is and always will be his father, regardless if you get along or not, talk often or not, or see each other often or not but since the invites are done, I guess this is a mute point!
MrsMtobe ~Live and let live ~ Mod Squad Moderator The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
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| It is a bit of a moot point now, since the invites are already printed up - I would wait and see if his dad gets upset when he gets the invite - which he very well may - and then try to explain it to him as nicely as possible.
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FH and I pretty much have the same dilemma! FH's dad and FH really don't talk much, see eachother or anything. His mom and dad have not been together since FH was a boy and his Dad was never really part of his life. FH makes a small effort to keeping in touch because his Dad has kids and he wants to be able to see his little brother and sister. We are also going to see them this year (first time for me to meet him) and FH does not want to include his father on the invites. He thinks that is would be disrespectful to his mom since she is the one who raised him. I dont think we will tell him.. I think that would make it seem like a bigger deal than it is.. it would be like prominently pointing out that we didnt include his name, and I think he may understand that it was appropriate anyways. ANYways.. As I said, I wouldnt tell him unless he asks.
Cole & Nikki September 1st, 2007 Married & Loving It!
Expecting Baby #1 (A GIRL!) October 2008!
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