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DH and I were talking last night and it turns out that he wants to find out the sex of the baby.  I have always known that I wouldn't want to know and now I'm torn between my wishes and his..... I have a few reasons for not wanting to know: 1) if I'm going to go through the pain of childbirth, I already know I'm having a baby, I want a surprise in the end, and; 2) There are so few great surprises in life, I don't want to wreck this one. Anyone else been in this situation? I'm kinda leaning towards giving in and letting DH get his way being that he doesn't have much say in the rest.......but then again, I REALLY don't want to know. My Aunt suggested just having DH know and not tell me, but, he's a horrible secret keeper and I know he'd let it slip. I may luck out and the Dr may not tell us as I live in BC and everyone has told me that they aren't allowed to tell you because there's alot of gender selection among some ethnic groups here. Advice?
Married September 10, 2005Expecting our first wee one - February 5, 2009
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Well, I can't say to much. But it is an amazing surprise whether or not you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks!!
~ Married On July 22, 2006. ~  ~A MOMMY since Dec.21st and LOVING it!~
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This is a tough call - DH and I were the opposite. I really wanted to find out and he didn't. He came around to the idea, and now is sooooo glad that we did find out. For us it was a bit different as I really wanted a daughter and I didn't want to find out at the birth that I had a son (I know that sounds soooo awful but really I thought my son deserved my love and happiness 100% from the moment he was born so if there was to be one, I needed to know!) Sooooooo long story short DH decided that "just because" did not trump "I don't want to be disapointed on the day of our baby's birth" LOL
After our u/s that we found out we were having a boy - I was sad for all things pink and the mother-daughter relationship I wouldn't have with our SON LOL but now that I've had a chance to get to the bottom of why I felt this way in the first place, I love my little man more than ever and would absolutely never, every trade him for an x chromosome if I had the chance. I felt that it helped me bond with him before he was born, and that definitely outweighed the surprise factor at birth.
I guess you should both make a list of reasons why you Do or Do Not want to find out and see if any warrant mind-changing. I know once I told DH why I wanted to find out, he agreed 100%
Whatever you do decide to do, you will not regret it either way so good luck!
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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| Obviously this is a very, very personal choice. I know that when its our turn, we would want to find out - for us, it would help us bond with and prepare for the baby. I also know that my parents have actually kind of trashed me for saying that (long story) because they feel, as you do, that there are few surprises in life and that should be one of them. I can see both sides and respect both arguments. If you and your dh disagree right now, perhaps its not a decision that needs to be made immediately, since it will be a few months before you're even given a choice. If you're still not in agreement at the time of the key ultrasound, perhaps consider doing what ChantalC did and having the tech write it down and put it in a sealed envelope. That way, you don't have to find out at the time of the ultrasound and if you and dh decide together later to open it, you can always find otu at any time.
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Don't feel bad Fasha, DH and I are both rooting for a boy and I would be slightly sad to find out it's a girl.....it does sound bad doesn't it.... Bah, I'm at a loss........I'll mention the list of reasons to him tonight and see what we come up with.
Married September 10, 2005Expecting our first wee one - February 5, 2009
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kiwi25 (6/13/2008)
ChantalC did and having the tech write it down and put it in a sealed envelope. That way, you don't have to find out at the time of the ultrasound and if you and dh decide together later to open it, you can always find otu at any time.OHHHH!!!! What a GREAT idea!!!! I like way much!!!  Thanks!
Married September 10, 2005Expecting our first wee one - February 5, 2009
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I agree that it's a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or at 40. Either way, it's a surprise. For me, they couldn't tell at my big ultrasound and we ended up doing a 3D ultrasound to find out the gender. Knowing it's a girl has really helped me to bond with the baby.
Talk it over with your dh - you may find the further along you are the more you want to know. And also, being in BC I think you probably will have a harder time finding out the gender. On my other board the BC girls had to cross provincial lines to find out the gender, since their doctor's wouldn't tell them.
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