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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/20/2008 6:43:55 AM
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| Ladies, What is your best advise for keeping that spark in your relationship? I know that once the honeymoon is over (literally) things can slide into a rather predictable routine. Work, dinner, etc. I'd love to hear your ideas on how to keep the romance alive. Thanks for sharing!
You can tell more about a person by what she says about others than you can by what others say about her. - Unknown
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2008 10:13:10 PM
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Okay, I'm not actually married yet, but after 9 years together I feel qualified to answer. 
First, I try to take a lot of things in stride. There are naturally going to be times when the relationship is less passionate. Any time where stress levels are high, romance is generally not on either of our minds. During these times I just let it pass, because I know the reason. As soon as the stress level goes down we re-connect and everything is fine.
If it's been an overly long time, or there is no real reason for a lag in the relationship then there's several things you can do. There's research to show that having sex in a different location does wonders because you become habituated to only having sex in the bedroom and it becomes routine. So get wild and crazy in the living room, the bathroom (in the dark!), in the car, or any where else a little out of the ordinary. You could also introduce something new for the same effect.
You can also try just vocalizing your impatience. Tell your partner how much you miss them doing ______ . Wear a sexy outfit and tell him it's just for him and you expect a proper ravishing when you get home.
If it's more than sex that you're missing just make an effort to snuggle, hold hands, and have quiet conversations. Leave the TV off one night, play a board came, read a book out loud to each other, go for a walk, or find a new activity to try together.
And most important, make sure there are no other big problems. A lag is one thing, but if other parts of the relationship are experiencing problems nothing will help until those are addressed. Sometimes it's important to ask if your partner is unhappy about anything. If they say that there is nothing wrong, bring up the fact that you miss the intimacy. This may promt something, or you may realize that one or both of you is just being lazy. It's easy to get comforable with your partner and just coast along. Talking about it will help you realize if this is what's happening.
Good luck!
___________________________________________
*~*~* Married at Disney World - MAY 21st, 2007 *~*~*
http://www.disneyweddings.go.com/williamsandhamblin 
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:54:19 AM
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Not much more to add to that...unless of course you want some raunchy stuff...lol...not that I personally do it, but some do ...
- Wife to Rob
- Mom to Tyler and Dawson and my surrogate daughter...TEGAN
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/15/2006 1:15:47 AM
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| I was actually really surprised that our relationship changed after we got married. DH and I have been together for five years and lived with each other 9 months before the wedding. After the wedding and honeymoon, we started to go at it like cats and dogs. I think for me it was the lack of anticipation of the wedding and for him it was now I have to be a better provider syndrom. Our case is of course different than most, DH is a trucker and I work 12-hour shift work, so obviously the lack of seeing each other has played a toll on our relationship since the beginning. I think what saves us like the above is our sex life. Sometimes he is gone for 2 weeks at a time and let me tell you when he's home for those three days he leaves a sore man. Even if we are a little pi$$y with each other the sex is actually better--I have a saying for it: "If I can talk it out of him, I'll..." fill in the blank. But seriously, it's no mystery, it's always about communication and quality time (not quantity time). It's the passionate kiss (not the peck) we give each other every time we come home, and the way he kisses me on the forehead when he leaves for work and I'm still in bed. We say Ilove you evey time we talk on the phone, eveytime we part, and everytime we say goodnight. P.S. I recommend the Newlywed Game you get at the Stag shop, it's fun, kinky, and you actually learn some emotional stuff about your partner each time you play.
Sept10ya  Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2/7/2008 10:13:10 PM
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Sept10ya (4/6/2006)
I was actually really surprised that our relationship changed after we got married. DH and I have been together for five years and lived with each other 9 months before the wedding.
After nine years of being together and 8 years of living together - I seriously doubt much is going to change.
I have a friend who was married a year ago after less than a year of dating who keeps swearing that "it's different when your married!" It always makes me laugh. My relationship has already lasted longer than a lot of marriages! 
___________________________________________
*~*~* Married at Disney World - MAY 21st, 2007 *~*~*
http://www.disneyweddings.go.com/williamsandhamblin
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/15/2006 1:15:47 AM
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You actually may be surprised! It doesn't mean it's going to change in the bad sense--just change a bit. It's a different feeling, very hard to describe. You think you know your spouse so well, and then he surprises you...that kind of thing.
Sept10yaAccept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue
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Group: Moderators
Last Login: 8/18/2008 11:01:36 PM
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Ember (4/6/2006)
Okay, I'm not actually married yet, but after 9 years together I feel qualified to answer. First, I try to take a lot of things in stride. There are naturally going to be times when the relationship is less passionate. Any time where stress levels are high, romance is generally not on either of our minds. During these times I just let it pass, because I know the reason. As soon as the stress level goes down we re-connect and everything is fine. If it's been an overly long time, or there is no real reason for a lag in the relationship then there's several things you can do. There's research to show that having sex in a different location does wonders because you become habituated to only having sex in the bedroom and it becomes routine. So get wild and crazy in the living room, the bathroom (in the dark!), in the car, or any where else a little out of the ordinary. You could also introduce something new for the same effect. You can also try just vocalizing your impatience. Tell your partner how much you miss them doing ______ . Wear a | | | |