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Group: Forum Members
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| And...why did I get married... My DH is amazing...the depth of his love for me and his family never ceases to amaze me. He would give the shirt off his back to a loved one in need without a second thought. He really makes me want to be a better person. He fights for me, he works hard, he`s ambitious. He`s game for almost anything almost anytime. He watches my sappy soap operas, and my other crappy reality tv shows, even though he pretends he hates them. And I like when he rubs my bum when I ask without complaining...lol... He loves me for me, he makes me feel like a queen, he tells me I`m beautiful and I know he means it. He`s smart, and god, he is SO handy...he can fix anything!!! I love that we met when we were in college and university, when neither of us had anything...just a couple of ambitious young people with big dreams. We grew together and he`s not after my money and I`m not after his...lol...or should I say the money we WILL have... ETA: And he`s one hot piece of chocolate candy and he`s got a hot body...just had to add that... If I could turn back the clock to almost one year ago when we got married, I would have said all of the above in my speech at our reception...well maybe I would have left out the hot body stuff. It`s hard for me to declare my love for him in front of spectators, but I do it privately all the time... He is not perfect, but he`s perfect for me.
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Group: Forum Members
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XoXo (6/28/2008)
huntertobe (6/27/2008)
zim and xoxo - i'm sorry you guys are having doubts  i KNOW you're not the only ones on the board having them if that makes you feel better. when i was out with some cb-ers the other day, i didn't word this very well...and i probably won't again  but.... i really wish the cbers that end up having problems or divorcing would come back on here! i mean, we're all here for each other for the stress of the wedding, or the babies, or the houses, etc....but what about the MARRIAGES? the divorce rate is something like 50% - so i find it hard to believe that every marriage that happens on this site stays together and happy as nice as that would be for everyone! i think it would give people great support to come here where people already "know" you...and be able to talk about what they're going through...and since there's so many women on here that have been married before - i think it would be more helpful then going to just a regular divorce chat room because the person having the problems will see that they can have a happy ending too! you shouldn't get flamed for saying maybe you made a mistake - you should be lauded for being adult enough to realize there's a problem. if you guys want to talk it out - we'll be here for you  Awww Thanks Huntertobe I can honestly say I don't know what will happen in the future with DH and I... somedays are good and somedays are bad, but lately it just seems like the bad days are really bad and very frequent. I feel like more often than not he would rather blame me for something gone wrong than own up to making a mistake... I don't think he realizes that getting up at the alter one time and committing himself to me isn't enough... he needs to do it daily... marriage is a process, something that requires time and effort, not a big day where you get dressed up and party with your friends and family...
It's really frustrating to feel like you're the only one giving a damn. very true xoxo! have you considered counselling at all? because it really can be very helpful! i see a shrink regularly to help me with my issues and when hubby and i are going through a fighting patch he'll come too and it's been really good for us! a neutral third party that telling you point blank what you're both doing is a real eye opener! how long were you guys together before you got married? did you live together? becuase me and hubby lived together about 6 years before we got married and the first year or two was very "interesting" could you be having growing pains?
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Group: Forum Members
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schrambony (7/2/2008)
Zim (6/27/2008)
Imagine being plagued by doubts after the wedding!!
(This is happening to my husband and me right now...)
I didn't bother reading the rest of the posts because I am feeling the same thing right now. I feel my husband has changed since we got married, and with some different circumstances coming up (unknown illness with me, possibilyt of losing job) i don't feel the support from him that I used to, and it scares me because I want a supportive husband. Sometimes I'm not even attracted to him anymore. I just find him repulsing, and I wish he would grow up. I don't know if it's my problem, or his. He makes sure to tell me it's me though. oh i'm so sorry to hear this! support is so important! so many of the other issues can be worked on but when you feel alone it's so hard! telling you it's your fault isn't a solution...that's not very nice are you doing alright healthwise? because that must be scary is there anything we can help you talk through? i'm glad you ladies feel supported enough here to speak out... i'm sure you'll find some stress relieved by knowing it's not just you attraction is a hard thing to lose ...what do you mean you're not attracted to him anymore? you're not intimate anymore? or the actual sight of him makes you sick? has he done something specific to make you so angry?
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ilovemyman (7/9/2008)
Do not be afraid to seek counselling if you are having issues with DH that you are having difficulty talking through. Sometimes a mediator is necessary to get down to the heart of the matter because when emotions are all heated, it's hard to be insightful and let defences down.I second (or third, or whatever) this advice. The reverend that officiated our ceremony puts on some pre-marital workshops, and even though we didn't take them (we were going to, but even though it's a pathetic excuse, we somehow never found the time before the wedding), he encouraged us to think about taking one at any point afterward. He suggested that some people find it helpful to do after, for instance, a year of marriage - whether there are big problems or not. For those of you that are questioning your marriage after the fact, or are in a rough spot, did you do pre-marital counselling? Do you think it might help to do something similar now? I've heard a number of people who did it say that it brought some issues to light that they hadn't realized were there. And if you did, do you think it might help to pull out any material you might have from there and go over it again together? (I'm not expecting any answers here, and I can't say I've been in this situation myself, but that's just the advice I'd offer to a friend going through something similar.) I hope those of you having difficulties are able to work things out without too much heartache - please don't hesitate to share what you're going through.
Married my love on October 20, 2007;
our sweet little Owen Thomas arrived October 23, 2008!
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New CB Member
Group: Forum Members
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/21/2008 7:45:07 AM
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Why are we getting married????
We have been together for 10 years and getting married was never that big of a deal for us, we have our children and we are happy...We had talked about it and always knew we would get married but just never really started planning it.
Last year, I started have second thoughts, started thinking that maybe the grass would be greener on the other side of the fence....All the little thing that annoyed me about him were driving me crazy, and I was not sure if we were together just because we had children or if we still had the love for each other we had before the kids. I thought maybe I deserved "better", I saw my single friends out having fun, dating, and having the "new relationship tingle" and I missed it.
We separated for a short time last spring (about 2 months) and during this time I really started to realize all the things I love about my FH and how happy he really makes me. He is not perfect, nor am I but this "break" help teach me how important it is to make each other a priority everyday. He is my best friend. This is when getting married started to become more important to us, we are now planning our wedding (the date is still all over the place due to finances). I can't wait to have the honor of tell the world that he is my husband
After years of being together you may start to neglect each other in little ways and you lose that "new relationship" feeling. We now make each other a priority everyday...I put his thoughts, feelings and needs before my own as he dose mine. I see now that we put our time together on the back burner, which is something that happens a lot when you have small children. We try to spend as much "alone" time as we can together, even if it is just going grocery shopping and doing some of the little things we did before we had kids, like this summer we are planning a day at Canada's Wonderland for us, we have lots of day trips planed with the kids but we do need some "Mommy and Daddy" time as well. One day the kids will be grown up and move out, fall in love and have their own families, it's our job to stay focused on each other, we don't want to wake up 20 years from now and not know each other anymore.
So back to the original question, "Why are you getting married"
We are getting married because we are committed to each other FOREVER, in the good and bad time, the happy and sad, the rich (we have not any of these yet) and poor time. Even in the hardest times, my love for him has never changed, I can't imagine my life with out him. He calls me everyday from work on lunch and we talk the whole time, he makes me laugh, he loves us (me and his children) more then anything on this planet, he works hard to provide for us and would never let anything happen to us. Like I said before, he is not perfect, we still have good days and bad, we argue and fight at times but I focus on the good things about us and they outweigh the bad every time. We work on making each other happy everyday. Being married is our bond to work together through the bad and hard times, our commitment to each other forever.
~~Danielle & Shane~~
To the world you may be one person,
but to one person you are the world
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