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DH and I once made up a list of all the things that we would like to do before we have a baby...we could do it if we won the lottery and started to TTC at 50 years old.
I don't think that there is ever a perfect time. If there are things that you would like to do, like finish school, before kids and you're young enough, and the conditions are MUTUAL, then yes, they are ok.
DH and I summed it up to ONE condition in the end, he has to have a full time job, and he can't just quit. This sounds simple, but for my DH, it was hard for him to find a job that he could stand being at for long. Now that he has, we have decided that this fall will be our time.
Happily Married since August 5, 2006
Going to TTC this fall. 
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Planning Addict
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I don't see this as being a big deal.. if the conditions are something that will improve the environment for the couple's future children... maybe the condition is something to improve their lifestyle (quitting smoking or some other bad habit) or paying off a certain debt, etc.. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. The only thing I'd be concerned about is if a couple started using it as a threat... "if you don't do this, we won't have kids" kinda thing... I agree with those who have said there's never a perfect time, but I also think that the couple needs to have their priorities and think about the best interest of their future children.
 Call me Nikki
*Tied the knot on 8/18/2007*
*Expecting our first in mid December*
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We had conditions that we decided on mutually. They were for me to finish school first, get married, start my career.... then we would try. But life happens the way it is meant to and in my first semester of a three year college program I conceived our son. I dropped down from the three year program to the two years, and my professors developed a 7-course load for me to work through the summer. I was due October 4 2006, so in September I would start my final semester which included 3 courses. 4 days into the Semester, September 9, 2006 I gave birth to our son. My professors continued to be accommodating allowing me to work from home. I was given an extra hour on exams and a private room so that I could bring my son and nurse him while doing my exams. I graduated with a 3.96GPA. Marriage was put on the back burner.... I started working from home (I do accounting for small businesses) when our son was 4 months old. My career is everything I could ever want.
What I'm trying to say is, you can put conditions on things, but your life is still going to happen. The conditions should be decided upon mutually though. I don't think it is really fair for one spouse to treat the conditions as ultimatums.... if that makes sense.
qwq
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Jle24 (6/30/2008)
We had conditions that we decided on mutually. They were for me to finish school first, get married, start my career.... then we would try. But life happens the way it is meant to and in my first semester of a three year college program I conceived our son. I dropped down from the three year program to the two years, and my professors developed a 7-course load for me to work through the summer. I was due October 4 2006, so in September I would start my final semester which included 3 courses. 4 days into the Semester, September 9, 2006 I gave birth to our son. My professors continued to be accommodating allowing me to work from home. I was given an extra hour on exams and a private room so that I could bring my son and nurse him while doing my exams. I graduated with a 3.96GPA. Marriage was put on the back burner.... I started working from home (I do accounting for small businesses) when our son was 4 months old. My career is everything I could ever want.
What I'm trying to say is, you can put conditions on things, but your life is still going to happen. The conditions should be decided upon mutually though. I don't think it is really fair for one spouse to treat the conditions as ultimatums.... if that makes sense.
What a great story, thanks for sharing. I was in school when we coneived but had to withdraw due to complications. I'm so glad it worked out for you.
I completely agree with the highlighted above...very well put!
...Proud Momma of Charlotte...
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cheers (6/30/2008)
Is it fair for someone to tell their spouse that they will not have kids until certain things happen first? For example, no kids until done school and working full-time, or no kids until lose weight, no kids until more independent...etc...). In other words, what would you do if your spouse put conditions on having children? I saw this on T.V. and thought it would be an interesting topic. For me I guess it would depend on what my spouse was asking (i.e. is it something that is important for my or the babies health etc...). But if it was something that I thought was not that important I would be pretty upset!!! Although, being done school and working full-time does make sense, if its given as an ultimatum, no, I dont think thats fair at all. Some couples do have their own timelines, but if mutually agreed upon, are more than fair. I would completely pissed if DH said something like that to me.
Kaisa & Sid - June 30, 2007
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DH and I have mutually agreed upon "conditions" for having a baby
I have a daughter from a previous relationship and she is six, also I have been working on contract for the last two years - full time but not a permanant position - so we are waiting for me to have a permanent job, and until we pay off some of our debt (small stuff like buying furnature for the new house that we put on credit and credit cards) Once that is done we will ttc...
Right now we are thinking we would like to start this time next year so we would have a baby in 2010....
I think these conditions are more than fair for us right now - and we are really enjoying being in the Newlywed phase (for a little while longer anyways) and giving spending as much time with DD as possible before she hits the "too cool to hang out with mom and dad" stage....
Crystal & Terry 09/01/07 -- Can't believe it has been ONE year!
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| DH and I have conditions on having babies as well. They are agreed on by both of us and seem to be the right choice for us. I am working as casual nurse right now, and have been for two years with no sign of a permanent job right now. My income is not stable and varies greatly. We moved to this town with his job so moving right now is not an option, and won't be for a few more years. We have to make it work with what we have and were we are. We know how much we need to get through the lower income that | | | |