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New CB Member
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Last Login: 9/7/2008 7:10:55 PM
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| Alright, we have talked about our wedding until we were blue in the face over these last few years and it has always been agreed that we would have a small ceremony and then one ( possibly two) big parties for the rest of our friends and family. The other day we were discussing wedding stuff ( at my friends' wedding no less!) and he mentioned that he wants to have 12 people max. on his side at the wedding. I was really hoping when we said small we meant parents, siblings and grandparents because we are not evenly matched family wise and my family (especially my dad's side) is not as forgiving of things as his. The problems here is that 12 covers both sets of his parents, his grandparents and then his aunt and uncle to whom he has always been really close. There is no way to do the same with my relatives as I am in the position of "invite one, invite them all." I told him I would not invite any aunts and uncles as too many toes end up stepped on if we are staying down to 12 people each, but now he is worried about our sides not looking even. ARG! We toyed with the idea of a destination wedding, but it would still not solve any problems and might even create a few new ones. What do I do to minimize the toe stepping? HELP!!!
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Supreme Being Planner
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Last Login: 11/1/2008 6:35:56 AM
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That's a tricky situation. I think the biggest thing to remember when it comes to wedding planning is that you will never make everyone happy. You have to decide what works best for you, and then stick to it 
~Sarah and Rob~ Getting married in Ottawa... sometime in 2010... When you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/5/2008 10:34:52 AM
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I would make your list and show it to your FH, telling him why you feel it's important for each person to be there. If the sides are uneven, does that really matter when the focus is on family?
My FH and I are doing something similar with only close family. He has a big family and I don't. But it doesn't really matter because the people who are going to be there are those who are really important to both of us.
Instead of having a designated bride's side and groom's side, maybe people can just sit where they'd like; my FSIL just did that and people sat where they thought they had the best view.
And remember at the end of the day you'll all be one big family anyways.
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Group: Forum Members
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| Another option might be to decide what branch of family to draw the line at.... Both of you invite siblings, parents, grandparents, and aunts/uncles. Draw the line at cousins. Decide how many friends each. Period. The sides would be uneven, and you would be spending more money on one family than the other, but neither side could say that the other got to invite cousins/other extended family when they did not. -Marianne
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New CB Member
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Last Login: 9/7/2008 7:10:55 PM
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| Aww, those are all really good suggestions, THANK YOU! I definitely agree that we need to remember its about family. The sides being uneven is not so much important to me as it is to him. Its tough work planning weddings! Too many toes to be careful not to step on, but I think it will all work out fine. Thanks again!
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Group: Forum Members
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| I know this is already resolved...but still wanted to add my two cents FH and I are having a smaller ceremony as well with our entire families, and just a few close friends...maybe 10? And FH's family is WAY bigger than mine. He has 3 sides (dad, mom, and step-dad), and I just have one (mom)...so our sides will be uneven as well...but I look at it this way...his family on that day, will become my family as well, so there really are no 'sides'...good luck to the two of you!!
Finally Mrs. Rosell!!  September 6, 2008
Victoria, BC
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Planning Guru
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cfranke (7/2/2008)
I know this is already resolved...but still wanted to add my two cents FH and I are having a smaller ceremony as well with our entire families, and just a few close friends...maybe 10? And FH's family is WAY bigger than mine. He has 3 sides (dad, mom, and step-dad), and I just have one (mom)...so our sides will be uneven as well...but I look at it this way...his family on that day, will become my family as well, so there really are no 'sides'...good luck to the two of you!! To add to this, if you or your FH are worried about it looking "uneven" I really don't see the big deal if some of your fam sits on FH's side, and vice versa. Or just reserve the front 4 or 5 chairs for your parents and let the rest sort out where they are sitting
~Kev & Jen 10.04.08~ ***MOD*** "If Love is a Labor, I'll slave 'till the end, I won't cross these streets until you Hold my Hand" Married!!!! My fairytale wedding was PERFECT!
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