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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/28/2008 7:37:49 PM
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| That is awful, I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I think what I'd probably be most upset about is not that they didn't like my wedding (because I suspect you probably would have done the things you wanted anyways [and rightfully so]) but that they were talking behind my back and were so mean and hurtfull. I know it will probably be hard, but I think that this is something you should really settle and get out in the open with your ILs. You're going to be dealing with them for a long time to come and a lot of resentment is going to build and seep into your relationship with DH and impair your children's relationships with their grandparents (if you're planning on having them). I think you and DH also have to sit down and come to your own agreement about what has happened and decide to show a united front to your ILs. I think you're totally right to be shocked and offended and for your own sake I think it's better to resolve this with them before it gets any worse. Good luck, I'll be thinking about you.
June 14th 2008
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/30/2008 12:08:22 PM
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EngdInMex (7/10/2008)
That is awful, I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this.
I think whatI'd probably bemost upset about is not that they didn't likemy wedding (because I suspect you probably would have done the things you wanted anyways [and rightfully so]) but that they were talking behindmy back and were so mean and hurtfull.
I know it will probably be hard, but I think that this is something you should really settle and get out in the open with your ILs. You're going to be dealing with them for a long time to come and a lot of resentment is going to build and seep into your relationship with DH and impair your children's relationships with their grandparents (if you're planning on having them). I think you and DH also have to sit down and come to your own agreement about what has happened and decide to show a united front to your ILs.
I think you're totally right to be shocked and offended andfor your own sake I think it's better to resolve this with them before it gets any worse.
Good luck, I'll be thinking about you.
You're right. But trying to argue with a brick will be difficult. I'm the type of person that hates not getting along with people. I'm completely willing to say that they have their opinions i have mine their not the same but lets get along anyway. But they have their opinions, mine are wrong, and I won't be forgiven until I realize I'm wrong and i just can't do that. It troubles me enormously that this rift is being caused between DH and I and his family. DH agrees with me and will stand by me whatever happens even it means choosing me over them. I hate the thought of that but I will not lie down and be insulted or talked about behind my back.
Me and him..August 4, 2007
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Supreme Being Planner
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/1/2008 6:35:56 AM
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But they have their opinions, mine are wrong, and I won't be forgiven until I realize I'm wrong and i just can't do that. I hate that attitude!! People need to learn tolerance and empathy.
~Sarah and Rob~ Getting married in Ottawa... sometime in 2010... When you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him!
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Supreme Being Planner
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 11/1/2008 6:35:56 AM
Posts: 3,921,
Visits: 3,099
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| I don't know if there's anything useful here, but this is the website for Outlaw In-Laws: http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Title_ID=105450 I'd also recommend googling "dealing with in-laws". You may or may not find something that will work for you, but if you can find any small thing that will help you feel better about it, it's probably a step in the right direction  But please always remember that their being judgmental and critical is THEIR issue, and you shouldn't take it personally! (((hugs)))
~Sarah and Rob~ Getting married in Ottawa... sometime in 2010... When you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/28/2008 7:37:49 PM
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DeeDee401 (7/10/2008)
EngdInMex (7/10/2008)
That is awful, I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this.
I think whatI'd probably bemost upset about is not that they didn't likemy wedding (because I suspect you probably would have done the things you wanted anyways [and rightfully so]) but that they were talking behindmy back and were so mean and hurtfull.
I know it will probably be hard, but I think that this is something you should really settle and get out in the open with your ILs. You're going to be dealing with them for a long time to come and a lot of resentment is going to build and seep into your relationship with DH and impair your children's relationships with their grandparents (if you're planning on having them). I think you and DH also have to sit down and come to your own agreement about what has happened and decide to show a united front to your ILs.
I think you're totally right to be shocked and offended andfor your own sake I think it's better to resolve this with them before it gets any worse.
Good luck, I'll be thinking about you.You're right. But trying to argue with a brick will be difficult. I'm the type of person that hates not getting along with people. I'm completely willing to say that they have their opinions i have mine their not the same but lets get along anyway. But they have their opinions, mine are wrong, and I won't be forgiven until I realize I'm wrong and i just can't do that. It troubles me enormously that this rift is being caused between DH and I and his family. DH agrees with me and will stand by me whatever happens even it means choosing me over them. I hate the thought of that but I will not lie down and be insulted or talked about behind my back. That's rough, I know exactly the type of person you're talking about. Maybe a little time and distance may allow them to see reason...but then again, maybe not. Good Luck!
June 14th 2008
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/7/2008 9:55:42 PM
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| I second what Huntertobe said: if his family is still talking/*****ing about your wedding a year later, they will be doing it for decades...that is just human nature. This is obviously not about the wedding (which is unchangeable now) but is instead a power struggle. You can't control what others say or do, you can only control your own reactions. Don't give them any reactions and just let this situation go...if you don't give them a "crazy wife" reaction, they will have received no reward for their behaviour and will be less likely to repeat it.
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