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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/5/2008 10:07:36 AM
Posts: 112,
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| So T and I got engaged less than a month ago. Within 24 hrs we had set the date and because of the weekend we picked, we started planning and booking. We've booked the church, the hall, the caterer, the DJ, the photographer, and the videographer. We securred our funding and have paid our deposits. Obviously, we are getting married May 19/07. It appears that our date conflicts with that of a distant relatives. Something like a cousin through marriage but because everyone on FH's side is from the same small town, they are all expecting to be invited to the wedding. This distant relative got engaged at Christmas and we have been informed that our dates are the same. As I assumed they had started planning before us, we said we may consider changing our date. As it turns out, they have not booked a single thing, have not looked at a single venue, and have not talked to a single vendor. Also, they chose their date after we chose ours. I feel as though we are being expected to change our date because of a person I have never met and FH and has not seen in many years. I know I do not "understand" as his family is much more closely knit that my family is and they see this as a major issue and do not want to have to chose. How do we inform my FH's family that date changes is not something we are going to consider? I don't want to be the biatch that caused the problem but I don't feel this other couple can just tell us to change our date when they have taken no actions to plan their wedding.
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/1/2008 7:47:32 AM
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| Hello, that is a tricky situation. Since it is FH's family, maybe he could politely call the other couple and ask them if they can change their date? He can tell them you guys already booked a bunch of stuff, and you know that family will want to be at both weddings, and would it PLEASE be possible for them to move their date since they don't have anything booked yet? Good luck!
MLD *Engaged: Sept. 23, 2005*Married:June 9, 2007* I love my HUSBAND!
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 9/6/2007 5:39:19 PM
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I'm on your side. You've paid all our deposits. You could lose money if they don't apply those deposits to any possible changed date.
I don't think it's fair for a couple who picked their date AFTER you AND hasn't starting planning yet to dictate that YOU have to change your date.
Just nicely inform the family that you've already put all this money down and have everything booked and that you are not going to change your date because of it.
Good luck!
Ash
****Happily married June 24th 2006!!!****
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/18/2006 4:34:00 PM
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Something like that happened in my family a while ago, and my uncle missed his brothers wedding because his step-daughter had her wedding the same day. It really upset the family and someone could have easily changed something. Don't let this person ruin your day, if you've made all the bookings- then go with it.
K + J 05/23/06
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/7/2008 8:29:34 AM
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I agree with the ladies.. you don't have to change your date at all..
Jules 
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Planning Addict
Group: Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 12:43:30 PM
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| Since you & your FH have booked your date, and secured vendors & location, etc with deposits I think that you whould be the ones who do not have to change the date. In my opinion if the other couple felt so strongly about their date they would have secured their venor(s) & at the least a church/ceremony/reception location, but since this has not been done I assume they are not as concerned about the date as you and your FH were. I would speak with your family & maybe with FH mom & dad about this situation and that you have decided (you being yourself & FH) that this is the date & your sticking to it. After that you may want to call the other couple & advise them that you have booked vendors & paid deposits & see if they would be willing to adjust their date (maybe before yours - I dunno). I hope this works our for you & FH and that if the date is not adjusted that the family understands that $ was involved with your vendors & that it was the other couple who chose not to make any changes. Best wishes with this situation
*Leighann* ~Forum Moderator~
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/28/2008 11:03:10 AM
Posts: 372,
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I agree with the ladies here. You've already put (I'm assuming) non-refundable deposits down, so your date is your date now, regardless of what this other couple chooses to do. Carry-on making your plans.
Mrs. AlanaBanana Alana & Erik ...the perfect pair! December 30th, 2006
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