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New CB Member
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| Hi Me and my fiance have been living together for years we own our home and have all the household items that we need. We would like money rather than gifts as we would like to do some renovations what is a polite way to ask for this without sounding greedy or rude. It is fine with me if someone chooses to get me something other than money but I would like people to know my preference or at least know how to respond when I am asked where I registered. Any thoughts
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Master Planner
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You might have opened a big old can of worms here....
It is rude and inappropriate to expressly ask for cash. In fact, some consider it rude to expect wedding gifts at all.
You don't have to register if you don't want to, and if and when people ask where you're registered, you can reply "Actually, we don't really need anything. We're just saving to do some renos on the house". They'll get the hint. Your close family can also spread the word (discreetly) that you'd prefer monetary gifts.
Live. Love. Laugh. 10.27.07
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Supreme Being Planner
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This may start a war.  But, to answer your question, it really depends on your group of family and friends and your location. Some people say its ok, some people dont.Personally, I would never tell my guests what to get me as a gift. We registered for a few items so that people could choose what to get and we actually ended up only getting about 4 or 5 gifts for the wedding, and the rest of our guests gave cash anyway. Also personally, I dont think there is a polite way to ask for money. IMO, it is rude. That is IMO. However, if people ask you or your parents etc what you are wanting as a gift, I think it's perfectly fine to let them know you're saving for a house, a car, a vacation, or whatever the case may be. 
 Kaisa & Sid - June 30, 2007
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Planning Guru
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| I'm having a small registry of stuff that we dont yet have... (which isnt much!!).. My mom is spreading the word to anyone who asks that we hope (but dont expect) to get $$.
its never polite to ask or expect money..
~~Soon to be Marie Ikonen~~ The Big Day:
August 23, 2008
http://marieandmarkus.weddingannouncer.com/
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Supreme Being Planner
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| I would ask family members to spread the word. I had a cousin get married, and they prefered Walmart gift cards. Some people still brought gifts since they wanted to, and they were well recieved and thanked for their gift. I just wouldn't put it in the invitation. While it can be considered rude to ask for money, I think in today's day and age it's a lot more practical to give money since a lot of couples live together prior to getting married. As mentioned, somehow spread the word and be gracious to anyone who gives a gift.
 August 23, 2008
Saying "I do" under the cheap showiness of nature
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New CB Member
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| Thanks I don't actually expect everyone to give me a gift or money but for the people that do I just needed a polite response thanks for all of your help
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Supreme Being Planner
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I agree with previous posters. There's no polite way to ask for money. Your best bet is to send word through family. There are some people (esp. older relatives) who will probably be uncomfortable or scandalized at the idea of giving money, so be prepared to still get a few gifts!
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Supreme Being Planner
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| call me rude or whatever.. but we wanted $$$$$$$$ and we got it w/ a few gifts... maybe 5. We didnt register. and simply told all of our family that we wanted money.. and if anyone asks to please pass on the message. no matter what people do what they want...but it helps in your favour if the request is out there. we were mostly concerned w/ the older generation as they're used to showering the bride / groom w/ gifts... for there first home .... i dont like to see it on the invitation.. a seperate insert is better.
September 1st ....please hurry.
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