| It's time to accept the facts and move on! |
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Never give up on friendship, keep trying! |
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Unsure (state reason) |
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Loving Planning!
 
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| So here's my situation, which I've alluded to in other threads. In my adult life, I've been careful not to let friendships die...well I have one friend, who, no matter what, it takes 3 emails and as many phone calls before she returns my attempts to contact her, never initates contact or get-togethers on her own, including this weekend with Easter greetings. I am not so oblivious to not see that there are definitely "issues" there that stem from her own unhappiness, and I've tried to be there for her where I can, which hasn't always been easy since I'm generally a happy person. I'm definitely not one of those "tit-for-tat" types when it comes to my friends, as long as we talk/get together I could care less who initiated it, but b/c I'm constantly the one doing it, I'm starting to wonder if she's trying to tell me something?
________________________________ Mrs. Peach! Happily Married since August 19, 2006!
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Loving Planning!
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I have (had) a friend that is similar...it was like pulling teeth to see her...I'm in BC, and come home to Alberta 2 or 3 times a year (where said friend lives)...the only way I can see her is if I go to her work while she is there...literally. The last time I was home, she wanted me to meet her new boyfriend, we went for coffee...just A coffee...I hadn't seen her in over a year. She never calls or emails me back...the only way she will initiate contact with me is if she wants something...or if she's going through a rough patch in life. Which is fine, I am all about giving advice and trying to help her out...but when the shoe is on the other foot, and I am the one in need of advice, or venting, she is nowhere to be found. For a LONG time I kept this friendship alive, and tried everything...and you know what? It gets really old, really fast. I have tried and tried, and I'm sick of trying. I have come to the conclusion that some friendships are not meant to last forever. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. They can't all be forever friends!
Candice and Norm  September 6, 2008
Victoria, BC
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Supreme Being Planner
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| I have a few of those. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to maintain the friendship, with nothing in return. I've decided to just let them go. If they contact me in the future, well, we'll see then! Until then, II'll live my life with my new friends. So, to answer your question, I think it's time to move on. She may try contacting you in the future, at which point it'll be up to you as to what to do.
 August 23, 2008
Saying "I do" under the cheap showiness of nature
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Loving Planning!
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| Good question Peach!! Funny that you bring this up...I was talking to DH this week about a dear friend that I've known since I was 16 and I love her to death, there's nothing I would change about her. Like you, it has ALWAYS been me to initiate trying to hook up for coffee, or I'm ALWAYS the one to e-mail/MSN/facebook her and it's been this way for a very long time. It's discouraging because it would be nice if they made at least half the effort, and that the friendship is just as important to them. So after all is said and done...I decided to send her an e-mail to ask her what was up!
~Lucy & Marino~
My love, my life! Love being married!
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Supreme Being Planner
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| In my opinion, friendship is a 2 way street. That means both parties need to make an effort and need to want the friendship to be there. I mean, there are different circumstances obviously, but it sounds to me like you are putting in WAY more effort than she does and have been for awhile. If I were you, I would dumb it down to emails once in a while asking her how she's doing, to call you or email you if she wants to meet for coffee or something. That way, if she is just going through a really rough period, you can still offer to be there for her, but you're not being hurt from trying too hard with no reponse. Good luck!
 Kaisa & Sid - June 30, 2007
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New CB Member
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Just to add another side to this problem I thought I would share my experience being on the other end! I am totally not saying this is any of you and I understand your guys' situation totally, I just thought this might give you a chuckle So I have this friend who I have been friends with since middle school. I love her to death but she is verrry needy! I have no problem getting together a few times a month or even once a week for drinks or a movie or whatever but with her this option does not exist! Everytime we do anything it has to go on for hours and she will drag it out as long as possible because she hates being alone. I have spent like 12 + hours wth her because she guilts me in to doing things one after the other like running around to do her errands, lunch, appointments, supper etc... It has gotten to the point that I literally hide and unless I have a lot of time (Which is not often!) I won't even consider hanging out with her. My bf finds it hilarious that I have to hide but she gets really pissy if I say I can't! I am sure she sees me as a bad friend but there was a point where I just had to say I can't stop putting my life on hold to do her running around!Anyways, it felt good to get that off my chest! But good luck with the friend situation! Again: had really nothing to do with yours or anyone else's situation?! Just thought i would tell you about the crazy friend that I lock all my doors and pull all the blinds down for! lol
*** The Future Mrs. James Hunter***
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Planning Guru
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Simply ask her, she'll tell you what she wants.
0 /0\
/[:]\/@\
//\\ /_\ May 9, 08  I can practically smell the flowers its so close!
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