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Beginner Planner
 
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| FH and I are having an engagement party thrown by my parents for family and family friends. FH's parents might have one that our friends would be invited to. FH will have a bachelor party, and I'll have a bachelorette party. I'll probably also have a bridal shower, but I'm not sure yet. If you don't want people to buy gifts for an event, just put no gifts please. Someone on here suggested writing "your presence is the only present we require," or something like that. Basically as several others have said, you get to have what you want, nothing is mandatory!
Engaged: January 3, 2008 The Big Day: May 23, 2010
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Loving Planning!
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I started off being completely anti-pre-wedding parties but now, I secretly wish I was having some. I have no bridesmaids and therefore noone to really have the responsibility of planning a bachelorette. My mom WAS starting to plan a shower.. but I refused. NOW I regret it, because I am all wrapped up in all this bride hype and its actually really fun and those parties make you feel special. It's so NOT about the presents...those showers and bachelorettes.. they are all about friends and bonding and just plain old having a good time. I wish I was having one...
Anik & Stephane July 18, 2008
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Planning Addict
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Planning Addict
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Last Login: 5/8/2008 10:30:38 AM
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| A friend of mine had: 1) engagement dinner 2) engagement party 3) bridal shower 4) lingerie party 5) jack N jill 6) stag 7) bachlorette party 8) bachelor party - yes, this was separate from the stag 9) wedding 10) now she's throwing a house warming Excessive- I think so. IMO (and I've even told her this though she didn't appreciate it) it appears that she's just out for a serious cash grab! Note- all of these were held within 1 year
10.04.08 H D D
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New CB Member
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Yes, You can invite people to the Jack & Jill that aren't invited to the wedding, but I guess you should make it known to them that they're not being invited to the wedding somehow. (ie. if you're having a small wedding).
 Getting Married September 19th, 2009
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Supreme Being Planner
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Well as much as these parties are fundraisers in essense, I also believe that a shower and stag are a rite of passage for a B & G so if you don't feel like you're missing out by NOT having one, then don't! If however you feel like you might be missing out on an experience you may later regret just so that your family doesn't buy you gifts, then I would probaby go for it.
I had such a good time at Beans' shower yesterday and she was smiling the whole time... I also heard my brother's stag was a hit from DH and although it cost us some money to get them gifts; we wanted to LOL I wouldn't rob myself of that experience personally, but if you're uncomfortable, as others have already mentioned... don't have one!
www.amandaandvince.com
support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
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Master Planner
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Last Login: 5/9/2008 2:43:11 PM
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| I definitely agree with both sides of the fence here....it depends on HOW you see these parties and what you are used to of course.....i have about 6 friends get married before me, all different cultures ect...the basics they all had were: bridal shower, stag and doe, stagette/bachelor party and then the wedding.....so..its pretty customary within our group and within my family.....all these event are sorta a chance for all the people to get to know eachother ahead of time.......so that come the wedding people already know eachother.....makes for a much more fun party..... FH and i were thrown 2 engagement parties by my sister...one for family and one for friends....only because she didnt want to have that many people at her house......i was totally ok with just having family but..she insisted...and my friends kept contacting her to find out when we were going to celebrate.......our wedding party is throwing us a jack and jill.....again.....awesome.....love them for it...because i have thrown one for my friends i know how expensive they are..so FH and i have tried to pay for stuff for them.......in my group a friends..the first thing people ask is....whens the jack and jill..hahaha....even before the wedding........people know we make money off it yes......to cover what we have spent and a little extra for ourselves for the wedding.....but..we did it for others so they have no problem doing it for us....and of course my girls want to take me out for one final wild night out...which again..totally up for it....im not gonna say no!!i cant wait...hahaha...but theres no money made there...its just a girls night out!!! i think it depends on how people view these events..if you see and treat it as nothing but a money grab...then thats what it is.....if you see it as a great chance for people to get together and get to know eachother and party it up......then thats what they are.......and it depends on who you invite and their attitude twords these things.......we invite people who we love and care about and if they want to bring a friends great......and so because these people love us..they want to support us.....and dont see it as a money grab...they are excited for us because we are getting married and WANT to partake in the festivities.......its like in some cultures people have weddings that last 2 days.....its part of the festivities...so thats what these are......and the people coming want to be part of it....they arent forced to come at all...if they feel its a money grab or whatever...they just decline.....easy as that......so having people who WANT to be there makes for a much better mood at each event!
Chulie ~Countdown to November 1,st 2008~
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