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New CB Member
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Apology for the length......
I know it's not a big deal, but this is so typical of my selfish, childish FFIL. We (FH and I) went and picked out the tuxes, vests, blah blah blah. We sent e mails out to let the guys know they just needed to pop in for the fittings. Well, sure enough, first one in is FFIL. He e mails to let us know that things went great and he chose the chocolate brown vest, so he can match his new wife's outfit.
I almost fell off my chair. First, why would the store let him change that without our approval? I called to ask, but still haven't got a response.
Secondly, how inconsiderate. The ones we chose weren't a suggestion, more of a REQUIREMENT!! Leave it to FFIL to make sure everyone knows he's in control. BAH!
Then i find out his wife hasn't even chosen her outfit yet, and now she's stressed because she has to match his vest.
Ok... so they come over for dinner, and i can't take it anymore. She starts talking about how she needs to go shopping for the brown dress so she can match. I pretend like this is the first i have heard about "browngate" (the code name we now use). I laugh and pretend i think she's kidding. They look at eachother, i pretend to realize they're not kidding. Awkward silence. I ask what happened to the charcoal. FH ABANDONS ME AND LEAVES THE ROOM!! hahaha. FFIL says he doesn't like the charcoal. I tell him that the days of matching your spouse 24/7 are long gone, and perhaps he should consider what the BRIDE AND GROOM wanted for their photos. He chugs his glass of wine, and the conversation is over.
Am i totally crazy to be annoyed by this? Of course there is so much more that has lead up to this, but i just feel like he is so selfish.
I think I'm going to call the tux place and have them change it back, without telling him, and let him find out the day of the wedding. Bahahaha. Cruel?
Jason & Jane
07.19.2008
My Rock, My Survivor, My Friend
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Loving Planning!
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We didn't choose our parent's clothes... we let them decide for themselves. I think you're making too big a deal of it. HE has to wear it, so why not let him be comfortable with what he's wearing??? If one of the Groomsmen or something had done that, it's might be a bit of a different story, because you might want them to all match... but is FFIL in the wedding party? If not, I'd lay off and just let him wear what he wants! Just because it's your day doesn't mean you're allowed to decide what others wear...
Good luck resolving the issue...
*Tied the knot on 8/18/07*
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New CB Member
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| You only are suppose to choose the groomsmen's tuxes. Your FFIL can wear whatever he likes. My brother-in-law is getting married soon and his Dad HATES what he's chosen for the GM to wear and he's going to choose what he wants to wear. When I got married my Dad chose a vest colour to match my Mom's dress and it looked awesome!!! Don't sweat the small stuff.
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Loving Planning!
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I think the point here is that the bride and groom had already chosen the colours for the guys to wear (as much as they really shouldn't have, because I agree with the PP, people should wear what they want to wear). Having said that, now that the colours were chosen by you, yes, I don't agree with FFIL having switched the colours on you. JMO.
Marrying The Love Of My Life - September 12, 2008!!!
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Loving Planning!
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This may console you...
My fiance will wear a suit he already has (black), the best man bought a suit without asking us anything (grey pinstripe), my dad wants a dinner suit, and I'm not sure what my father-in-law will be wearing...
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New CB Member
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I guess i forgot the essence of the story, he was the one who insisted on having the fathers be "included" in the wedding by wearing clothing that included them. I was fine with my dad wearing a suit or whatever he wanted, but FFIL wanted to be wearing the same tuxes as the boys. I'm not the crazy type bride a few of you seem to imagine i am. I didn't even tell my bridesmaids what to wear!
Not to mention this is the same man who stood up to toast us at our engagement dinner, and announced that he had secretly remarried. hahaha
Like i said, deep lying issues, and this was the proverbial straw.
Jason & Jane
07.19.2008
My Rock, My Survivor, My Friend
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Beginner Planner
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jwick7 (5/5/2008)
Not to mention this is the same man who stood up to toast us at our engagement dinner, and announced that he had secretly remarried. hahaha
sorry but I think that's awesome! haha! what a surprise! I wish my famliy did fun stuff like that. And since it was his idea to match and he changed his mind it shouldn't matter to you that he chose a different color, not worth the stress! Unless the colors will clash in the photos and look ridiculous then who cares.
Engaged Dec.24th 07 Getting Married on October 9th 2009  
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Supreme Being Planner
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| To the OP: HONESTLY, I would just let this go. He may have been the one who wanted to wear the same thing as the guys in the BP, but he's obviously changed his mind. If originally you were going to let the dads wear whatever they wanted, just go back to that original idea. I don't think anyone thinks you're crazy or acting strange. You asked for our opinion on the subject and the opinion of a few, including myself, is that you should just drop it. I don't think you're crazy ... just frustrated your FFIL changed his mind. 
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IGGY Married May 26, 2007
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