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Planning Addict
 
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| I wanted to have one of my cousin's kids in my WP as a junior usher. She declined because she was worried that he wouldn't have supervision when we were taking pictures at the park (1) yes he would have supervision, 2) she's invited to come to the park 3) he's 11 years old) Anyways, I've recently found out that the real reason was because I did not ask her other children to be in the W party as well (she has 5!!!) and she's upset that I've asked multiple children from other families (and not her's). Now I find out she's not coming to my bridal shower (because she doesn't have a sitter - meanwhile I specifically addressed the envelope to her and her kids), and I think she's going to pull a no show at the wedding. I am deeply hurt and really angry about all of this, especially because I used to visit them all the time (before I started working a million hours each week) and it appears that she's deliberately being hurtful, all because I didn't have all 5 of her kids in the wedding party- I'm really tempted to bring this up to her. What would you do?
10.04.08 H D D
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Loving Planning!
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I had a similar situation with my wedding planning as I chose one cousin that I really like and spent a lot of time with while she was growing up to be a BM at 11. When I asked her mom at Christmas she said it was alright, when I called to ask her her mom was so excited that she wanted to wake her up. But when I called the next day her mom intercepted the call and told me she was too young to be in the party, WTH I was 10 when she got married and was in her wedding party. Turns out my two cousins that are older than her complained that I asked CJ instead of them.
My friend got married in Ottawa last September and her oldest two cousins were supposed to be a jr. GM and BM, and her RB and FG were the youngest two from a different aunt and uncle. Well because she didn't choose one family neither made the drive from Toronto to Ottawa for the wedding, and didn't tell her they weren't coming until 2 days before the wedding. Not only was she out the money for the two dresses, and the tux rentals, but she was out for the cost of 6 adult meals and two kids meals for the reception.
Yes, your feelings should be hurt. But better you know this now before hand than to plan for it and then they back out at the very last minute. It's not worth getting angry about, because at the end of the day it won't matter if she missed it because she'll be the one to live with that. If she pulls a runner and is a no show after she has said she would attend I would send the bill for the meals to her mother to give to her. That's what my aunt did when 4 of our cousins said they would be at an event that she made and didn't show up, she was out $400.00 for them and so she sent the bills to their mother and asked her to give them the envelopes. It may be tacky but they never didn't show up at a wedding or bar mitzvah again if they said they would be there.
~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~
Stephanie & Mike
Engaged: Sept. 29, 2006
Betrothed: July 22, 2007
Married: Aug. 17, 2008
You are the ink to my paper what my pen is to my pad
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