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New CB Member
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Ok So I have a friend who is getting married on May 25th. Since she got engaged she has been quite different with me. We both got engaged 2 weeks apart and she actually blamed me for stealing her spotlight???
Anyways, we've had some issues: She started stealing my ideas, I stop telling her, she wanted to have our TTD session TOGETHER, 6 months after her wedding, I put a stop to that, but she is still thinking about doing hers the day after my wedding.
The past month she has been calling me freaking out about different things: 1) Not everyone she invited is coming. She is getting married 8 hours from everyone on a Sunday, everyone has to travel and miss work. 2) It snowed so now she has to move the ceremony inside...It's May, rain and snow are expected. 3) She doesn't have enough people coming to the wedding so there moving her to a different room or charging her more, is that even legal, apparently yes, its in the contract. 4) NO church will marry her on a Sunday, 5) She hates her dress and thinks that it isn't fair that I got the dress I wanted...she even made me feel bad about spending the money I did for the dress I got. and 5) Yesterday she called me freaking out because she doesn't have flowers...She was buying from a wholesaler and they won't ship tulips and lilies for a sunday wedding cause they will die.
I feel really bad for her because she has had to make so many compromises already that she isn't really getting the wedding of her dreams. And I guess I am just getting annoyed by all her complaining and for the fact that she said this is what you have to look forward to. But I really don't I am organized and have everything done, including back up plans. So What should I do. I want to comfort her, but in a way I am mad because she keeps making me feel bad about my wedding. FH says that she is jealous because we are getting the wedding we want and she isn't.
Now she just called while I was typing this, she can't get into the location the night before because their is a wedding...NO WAY on a Saturday? Anyways, she delegated duties to me and our friends, none of us are coming in until the morning of, now we have to leave even earlier to help. She never even asked. She is so unorganized that I am afraid to help because then she'll blame us if things don't look right.
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Planning Addict
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Last Login: Today @ 11:29:58 AM
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| As much as you feel bad for her don't feel bad about your wedding. Its not your fault that things aren't working out for her. Most of her problems are fairly normal and should be expected.
~This is the day I will marry my best friend, The one I laugh with, live for and love~ May 31, 2008
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Supreme Being Planner
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Last Login: Today @ 11:46:22 AM
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| you are letting this happen. If you don't want to be freaked out on, or when she starts complaining and whining during a conversation, simply say you have to go and disconnect the call. If you don't want her delegating duties to you for whatever reason, then inform her that you are not able to help her the morning of her wedding. It's really that simple. If she asks why, then simply tell her that had she "asked" you to help, that would have been a different story, but since she is simply delegating you without even asking you, then sorry, can't help! Take some control back. Until you do, she will continue like this and drive you insane because you are letting her do it. Good luck!
MrsMtobe ~Live and let live ~ Mod Squad Moderator The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
 Mrs. M and loving it!!!
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Planning Guru
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DO NOT under ANY circumstances allow her to make you feel in ANY way guilty about your wedding!! obviously you've made plans and put them in motion, and she's struggling with it. I don't really have any advice for you. If it were me in your shoes, I'm such a push over, I'd probably just do it, but be pissed off and stew about it (hahaha) Whatever you end up doing, good luck, and don't let your friend put a damper on your wedding!
~Kev & Jen 10.04.08~ "If Love is a Labor, I'll slave 'till the end, I won't cross these streets until you Hold my Hand" One of two cranky Virgos in the Grumps Club!!
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Loving Planning!
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jen39 (5/9/2008)
DO NOT under ANY circumstances allow her to make you feel in ANY way guilty about your wedding!! obviously you've made plans and put them in motion, and she's struggling with it. I don't really have any advice for you. If it were me in your shoes, I'm such a push over, I'd probably just do it, but be pissed off and stew about it (hahaha) Whatever you end up doing, good luck, and don't let your friend put a damper on your wedding!Totally agree with above!!!
Marrying The Love Of My Life - September 12, 2008!!!
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Master Planner
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| I've read a bunch of posts from you about this "friend" (I use that term very loosely here as she has not acted as a true friend would). The fact that you and your FH are having the wedding you want is not something to feel guilty about, and she is totally unreasonable to make you feel so sh!tty about it. Sounds like she should have spent more time planning her wedding and getting everything in order instead of worrying about how your day will be better than hers (in her mind) and how she can ruin it. You don't need to go out of your way to help her. She's not going to appreciate it and she'll blame you for everything that goes wrong. Handle her with kid gloves.
Live. Love. Laugh. 10.27.07
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New CB Member
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Last Login: Today @ 12:42:27 PM
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You ladies are so right. It has actually come down to her blowing up at me and accusing me of Sabotaging her wedding???
I am so Pi$$ed right now it is not funny. Where does she get off? She actually said that I am causing her more stress because I am not helping her....When in reality she is stressed because she is not organized and everything is falling apart and I am not making my life revolve around her. I have my own wedding to plan and no I am not telling you anything cause when I do, you just make feel like crap for my decision. And another news flash the world does not care about your wedding. Sorry to tell you that, but it is true.
Now if I could only say that too her. I am actually at the point where I don't even want to go to her wedding now. I feel like just telling her to f Off. But I know that later on I would regret it.
 Thank goodness for this forum I needed to vent.
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Planning Guru
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I absolutely agree with the other girls, YOU CAN"T LET HER GET TO YOU! She's doing this on purpose, she's abusive and she's a bully! Don't listen to a word she says! Do your best to tackfully cut off ties with her, and nicely decline, and don't call her for any reason. Make up excuses when she calls "oops, dinners burning, gotta go!" "Oh fh is home, he looks grumpy, gotta go!" etc. Hopefully she'll get the hint, OR think your too flaky to trust and bug someone else 
~*~)O(~*~ Worlds biggest mind changer alert Unless you just asked me 10 seconds ago You can never be sure ~*~)O(~*~
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