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Beginner Planner
 
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/17/2007 5:21:54 PM
Posts: 250,
Visits: 559
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| So far, I've considered myself very lucky with my bridal party, especially when reading some posts about other people's situation. But right now, I feel like no one cares about my wedding! Here's my story.. So last Friday was my first fitting for my dress, which I'd bought last October with my 2 bridesmaids. The bridal store only does fittings during the week from 9 to 5 (I know, that' inconvenient, but what can I do?). So apparently there was some misunderstading with the girls and they thought it was on Saturday. No big deal I said, I understand and my mom was coming with me. Now I sent them an email saying that my next fitting is in a month at 5PM (last appointment of the day) and ask that at least one of them be present to learn how to tie the dress and bustle it up. Answer I get from one of them: Sorry I can't be there at 5, I can be there at 5:30.. And I was like well nevermind, thinking that it'll be over by 5:30.. So I'm really hoping that the other one will be able to make it! Otherwise I'm alone. I know that everybody has a life and that they can't stop living just for me.. But right now it feels like they never go out of their way to help me. They're there, but only if they don't have anything else to do! I tried to get the guys to try on the tuxedos and same story.. "I can't, I have plans." And I can't just say: you guys go whenever you want, because my dress is Ivory and I'm really worried that they'll pick something too white and make me look yellow on the wedding day! Anyways I really needed to be reassured on my dress choice and I wanted to know that my friends cared... I know it could be worse, but I could really use some support right now!
__________________________ KiKi - Sept. 30, 2006
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Beginner Planner
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/6/2006 11:50:05 AM
Posts: 145,
Visits: 264
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| Kiki, I totally hear you... i am feeling the exact same way right now. I have been trying to schedule fittings for everyone and i have had to reschedule THREE times because people couldnt make it last minute! This shouldnt have to be such a stressor for us, we have enough to deal with. Finally i had to take a day off work so that it could work for my bridesmaids, which i didnt think was fair. It has been hell with my bridal party, three of them are my sisters and they are young so i understand but my MOH has not helped with ONE thing and the wedding is two months away!! she came to find a dress with me and thats it, i have done everything else myself and its a 300 person wedding! I had to tell her how to plan my bachelorette party! anyways im sorry that im going on about my problems, I just want you to know that i hear you and feel for you. I hope everything turns out, im not really quite sure what else to say. Im here for ya, if you need to vent!!
~Steph~Wedding Date: June 10th, 2006
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New CB Member
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 6/9/2006 9:58:08 AM
Posts: 55,
Visits: 47
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| I can relate. I am doing almost everything on my own. When I told my one friend I addressed all the invitations myself she said she would have helped but I didn't ask. Come right out and ask for what you want them to do for you. Sometimes we think they don't care when they really do. I thought the same thing - but was surprised when I actually asked they would pitch in. As far as the fittings go because they have to help you with putting your dress on and at least one of them has to know how to do it then one of them should be at your last fitting. They shouldn't all be required to be there each time. Choose the attendant that is the most reliable and ask her to be there for the final fitting to learn how to put it on - tell her that you need her there and give her lots of notice on the time and date. I am going to all my fittings alone as mine is just a zipper so I don't need anyone there. I also am not attending any of their fittings. With respect to your guys - your fh should arrange for the fittings of all the guys - you should not have to do it. My fh called all his guys and asked if a particular date was ok and they said yes and he just chose the time. All 6 showed up and 2 live 1.5hrs away from us. I went with for colour as I too have an ivory dress. All my guys are wearing cream coloured shirts - it is supposed to be almost identical to the ivory shirts. All your guys must wear the ivory or it will look off in photos next to your dress. You will definitely want to be there to match the colours. If you leave it to them they will surely mess it up.
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Loving Planning!
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 5/4/2008 11:12:20 AM
Posts: 661,
Visits: 813
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| It's hard when things just don't go your way...I've been in your position many times throughout the past year of wedding planning, but that's just the way it is, and there isn't anything you can do about it without seeming like a "Bridezilla" Which is why most things I just put off and eventually they went away, and of course another problem arised. Everything will be okay. At least you have your mom with you! I have a bridesmaid who is planning her wedding basically all by herself, much of her wedding dress shopping was done all alone! I feel so bad that I can't be there, but she's 2 provinces away and I just can't get to her  Can your mom not be the one that learns to tie up the corset? Don't get me wrong I am not trying to justify your bridesmaids, I'm just saying that things could be much worse...look to the bright side of things, and maybe call up your bridesmaids and let them know how you feel. I hope everything turns out okay, **hugs** Stacey
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Loving Planning!
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 4/1/2008 8:10:12 PM
Posts: 890,
Visits: 552
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| KiKi my dahling...SCREW the BMS and turn to a friend. Is there a good friend who is interested in your wedding stuff? I have found that a friend has been more help than all of my other BMs put together and she is not in the wedding at all. She was actually the one who told my MOH to start planning a shower for me..tee-hee gotta love those kinda chicks eh? I am having drama too as I am sure you have probably read with a BM and basically, short of ordering them to do things, there is not much you can do. I am honest however when my BMs have asked in telling them that I feel very alone doing all the wedding stuff and then they are interested for a minute then gone again. Try to enjoy what you can and maybe tell you FH that your dress is ivory so no white stuff. I actually called the tailor where FH is going to get his tuxes and told him that I will be coming when the GM pick their tuxes and FH knows that my dress is ivory to prevent this problem. Big pic, does it really matter if he knows what shade of white your dress is? That is how I looked at it. I hope that this finds you well and expect nothing from your Bm...that way you will be pleasantly surprised when they step it up...hopefully! JJF 
~Finally Mrs. Williambug~
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Supreme Being Planner
Group: Moderators
Last Login: Today @ 8:58:21 PM
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KiKiLondon (4/10/2006)
So far, I've considered myself very lucky with my bridal party, especially when reading some posts about other people's situation. But right now, I feel like no one cares about my wedding! Here's my story.. So last Friday was my first fitting for my dress, which I'd bought last October with my 2 bridesmaids. The bridal store only does fittings during the week from 9 to 5 (I know, that' inconvenient, but what can I do?). So apparently there was some misunderstading with the girls and they thought it was on Saturday. No big deal I said, I understand and my mom was coming with me. Now I sent them an email saying that my next fitting is in a month at 5PM (last appointment of the day) and ask that at least one of them be present to learn how to tie the dress and bustle it up. Answer I get from one of them: Sorry I can't be there at 5, I can be there at 5:30.. And I was like well nevermind, thinking that it'll be over by 5:30.. So I'm really hoping that the other one will be able to make it! Otherwise I'm alone. I know that everybody has a life and that they can't stop living just for me.. But right now it feels like they never go out of their way to help me. They're there, but only if they don't have anything else to do! I tried to get the guys to try on the tuxedos and same story.. "I can't, I have plans." And I can't just say: you guys go whenever you want, because my dress is Ivory and I'm really worried that they'll pick something too white and make me look yellow on the wedding day! Anyways I really needed to be reassured on my dress choice and I wanted to know that my friends cared... I know it could be worse, but I could really use some support right now! I understand that you want your MOH/BMs with you ..... what I dont understand is why the store wont do a fitting for you in an evening appointment? That seems unreal, store hours or not. If they want the business they'll accomodate you when you can be there, right? If you got the last appointment at 5pm, then you know they don't close at 5pm. They are open later obviously. I think your friend was very compromising with you .. although she cant be there right for 5pm, she would be there for 5:30pm. Why didn't you say "sure, 5:30 is great but please be there at that time" (dress fittings never go as planned ... perhaps you'll be a tad late .. or the store staff will be late and you'll have to wait .. your friend could arrive at 5:30 and she could learn how to bustle you ... better late than never, right??? Perhaps you may want to reconsider and let her come at 5:30. I can almost bet that you'll still be in your gown when she arrives...
MrsMtobe ~Live and let live ~ Mod Squad Moderator The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
Mrs. M and loving it!!!
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Beginner Planner
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/17/2007 5:21:54 PM
Posts: 250,
Visits: 559
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| Thanks for the support, much appreciated! So my second bridesmaid called me to say she thought the other one was my MOH and therefore her responsability to be there for my fittings. Now, from the begining, I never appointed 1 MOH, because I only have 2 girls which I both love very much. So I told them that they were both important to me and then she said that she could be there for me (YAY!). Seeing that, the first one said that she would try to be there for 5pm (2nd YAY!). And for the guys, 2 out of 3 ended up being available (3rd YAY!)... We're going to choose the tuxes Thursday night! I guess this situation made me realise that in all this planning, some days are good, some are bad, but in the end, it will turn out ok - and so will the wedding day (hopefully!). And jjf you're right.. I have a friend at work who's super excited about my wedding and I'll keep that in mind if I need help from someone else than the BMs.
__________________________ KiKi - Sept. 30, 2006
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