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icywedding (4/10/2006)
Here’s the story: one of my fiancee’s relatives is getting married this June. (Keep in mind that both of us come from Western European backgrounds where it is normal to give gifts of money for the wedding). Ever since they got engaged, there has been nothing but expensive functions for people to attend! It’s just ridiculous! First, they had a HUGE engagement party at a banquet hall in the winter. I swear… it was just like a wedding, minus the wedding dress and tuxedos! There were over 200 guests, and there was a head table with the wedding party, a live band, dinner was served, dancing, etc. We brought money to the engagement and gave them $150 (which I imagine is a lot less compared to what other people gave). I would not have given that much!! THEN… she held her wedding shower last month. She specifically requested a MONEY SHOWER, but had registered for a few small gifts at Sears too. I refused to give money for a shower (I am one of those women who is totally against the idea of a money shower…. a shower should be for functional gifts that the couple needs, and the fun of a shower is to watch the bride open up her gifts and stuff). So I had to go out purchase a wedding gift, spent approx $75.00 on it. I can't believe she requested a money shower!?! WTF??? THEN… the groom held his stag. Another money-grab function. The admission cost was $60 for the guys (again… this was held at a banquet hall)… and then when my fiancée got there he had to spend money on various games and things. As we all know with most stags (or Jack & Jills), there is usually a raffle with prizes, as long as you purchase tickets. From what I know, tickets are usually low priced at about $5 or $10 for a handful of tickets. BUT NOOOOOO, they had to pay $45 for a strip of tickets!!!!! That's just ridiculous!!!There was no option to pay less if you wanted to have less tickets… just a flat fee of $45. So over $100 in total was spent by my fiancée for the stag (and he barely knows the groom that well). Now, the wedding is coming up, and again we will be providing a cash gift. This is normal for our culture… but after all of these money-sucking functions, we are incredibly frustrated and I find this couple to be incredibly greedy. I can imagine that they have made at least $5000 in total from everyone with all of these things so far. I just have to vent… I wish that I could say something to the bride but she isn’t my family and I wouldn’t want to upset my FH. His family is also very disgusted by the way that this “marriage” is going over-the top with regards to money-spending functions, but there is not much that you can say to the couple. I just wish she knew how greedy she is coming across to most of her guests!!! There is no doubt that this couple is very much trying to profit from their wedding date I doubt there making profit with all this extravagent crap there doing!! But still!!, and it makes me sick!! I would never have the nerve to make my guests go through all of these costs! In total, we’ve spent approx $345 on the “pre-wedding crap”, and will spend another $200 minimum on the wedding. A combined total of about $550 on just 1 person’s wedding!!! Ridiculous. *end rant*  I wouldn't have even gone to all the events!! I would have made it known that it was way too expensive!! It's hard when it's not your family though!! I would be peeved too!
♥♥♥Married August 26, 2006♥♥♥
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Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 10/6/2006 11:50:05 AM
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thats crazy! And i thought that we were being greedy by asking $10 for our jack and jill tickets, i wanted to ask $5, but FH wouldnt let me!! lol This is obviously just a money making machine for these people, I just want my guests to enjoy themselves, not go broke over me!!
~Steph~Wedding Date: June 10th, 2006
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| It takes two to tango. I am sure that it took you and your FH awhile to figure out what was going on here because all these events came along one by one and now, hindsight is a wonderful thing. If you guys feel that you have already dropped enough coin of the realm in their direction, then go to the wedding and give nothing. There is no protocol that requires you to give a gift. Should they be crass enough to ask about it after the wedding, then tell them straight up that you already gave at the other functions. EL
Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. 
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everlovin (4/10/2006)
It takes two to tango. I am surethat it took you and your FH awhile to figure out what was going on here because all these events came along one by one and now, hindsight is a wonderful thing. If you guys feel that you have already dropped enough coin of the realm in their direction, then go to the wedding and give nothing. There is no protocol that requires you to give a gift. Should they be crass enough to ask about it after the wedding, then tell them straight up that you already gave at the other functions. EL I completely agree!!! The nerve of some people.. I don't know if I would even want to attend the wedding after all that!
~~~~~~~~We did it~~~~~~~~ http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=3275537065903750
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everlovin (4/10/2006)
It takes two to tango. I am surethat it took you and your FH awhile to figure out what was going on here because all these events came along one by one and now, hindsight is a wonderful thing. If you guys feel that you have already dropped enough coin of the realm in their direction, then go to the wedding and give nothing. There is no protocol that requires you to give a gift. Should they be crass enough to ask about it after the wedding, then tell them straight up that you already gave at the other functions. EL I do agree with EL here too
MrsMtobe
~Live and let live ~
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Apart from the giant engagement party, FH and I are doing the same thing (no Money shower, but we'll probably get money as we are Italian) and FH's stag tickets will probably be 65 OR 75 depending on what stag menu he chooses. I calculate that we will lose about 20K on our wedding, because we wanted to do everything top notch... and we did! That's more than MOST people's budgets! So I don't think this B & G are greedy at all. Engagement party, standard. Money Shower, standard in my neck of the woods. Stag, Standard (with the exception of the ticket raffles, which I'm sure no one twisted your Fh's arm to buy any) and the Wedding, again standard. I don't see the big deal here????
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